The Beginning, Middle & End

Heather Kobler


There is a beginning, middle and end to everything we do in life. The trick is to understand where you are in your relationships with family, friends and your career. Some of us are acutely aware of the stage that we are at while we are there, and others see things in retrospect.

Conscientiously taking stock and even keeping a journal are valuable tools in taking the temperature of your life. When you are thinking about something, that’s one thing, but when you discuss it and actually hear what you’ve been thinking it can be a real eye opener.

From time to time, I have suggested to friends to record the story they just shared with me and listen to it several times. It is an amazing tool to help people understand how they come across to others. It is an especially good thing for those who tend to tell the same story again and again.  You cannot change any behavior without first accepting it. That’s when you can move forward and make changes in your life and times.

There are many chapters in our lives, some are wonderful and some are painful. It is a bittersweet event when we take a real look back at the place we are in and achieve an understanding of what needs to be done to work through, under or around a situation.

It wasn’t until I was asked to write down the five best and worst things that happened to me that I understood the divorce I was ashamed of was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

When we are young (and dumb) we don’t understand the real importance of our own value system and how choosing someone who shares those ideals is so very important. Our parents are supposed to teach us what to do, but sometimes they teach us what not to do!  Knowing what’s really important to you is life changing and something that’s worth thinking about.

We all have “currency” of some kind and having good self-esteem, saying what you mean and meaning what you say are the trademarks of a person with integrity. Choosing friends that you admire because of their positivity, sense of humor, intelligence and general well-being is one of the best things you’ll ever do.

The family and friends we adored are the best gifts in our lives, and maintaining those relationships just like you would tend a garden is important. You plant, water, fertilize and they thrive.

The only things we get to keep are the things we give away. Your compassion, understanding, empathy, humor, intellect, joy and the ability to really listen are the gifts we give ourselves. If we give these things away on a daily basis we will come to understand that these attributes will keep on coming as long as we live.

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