Senior Texting

Texting for the over 40's and 50's. The kids have all their SMC codes like WTF, LOL and PMSL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature:


A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

A Jesuit and a Franciscan Go to Heaven

Two priests, one Jesuit and one Franciscan, were killed in a terrible car crash arrived at the "Pearly Gates" and St Peter greeted them."

Women's Seminar

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

The Wedding Crasher

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

A Dark and Stormy Night

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe... as it happened, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car.

Rabbi Confession

A priest was called away on an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional booth unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.

Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American lady. Although his English wasn't perfect they got along very well.

Stages of Life

Gems from Hollywood Squares

These great spontaneous answers from the Hollywood Squares game show.
Q. Do female frogs croak?

Farm Riddles

Kids Advice on Marriage


You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. (Alan, age 10)


If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

Subjective Age

"People my age are so much older than me."

Dough Boy

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.


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