Man Goes to a French Restaurant

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?”

New CEO

General Motors, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

Captain Bravo

Long ago there lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my red shirt!''

Eight Legs

A fellow is driving down the road and a chicken with eight legs runs past him like he was standing still. The guy sees a farmer so he stops the car and gets out.

Evolution of Many Things

The Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

I Am Fine

A farmer named Heather had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Heather.

Clever Words

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

To Do List

Forgetful

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Dieting

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

Bird Flu vs. Swine Flu

The Farmer and the Lawyer

A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Western Idaho. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field.

Annual Physical

After the ninety-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said "You are in fine shape for you age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

Lecture

Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

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