Good Intentions

The Jewish Dog

Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a problem."
Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."

Unlucky Pirate

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

Buffalo Wings

CEO

The CEO of a large firm goes on a road trip with his wife. They pull over a gas station to fill up the tank.
Later, the CEO steps inside the facility to pay the cashier. He then notices that his wife gets into an animated conversation with one of the gas station attendants.

Jewish Grandmother

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.

Male and Female Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.

Headline from the Grocery Store

Latest News: 49 mins ago:
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.

Sell Your Golf Clubs

Jerry decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

Engineer vs. Doctor

An Engineer could not find a job, so he opens a clinic, and puts a sign outside that says "Get treatment for $50; if not cured get back $100."

Aphorisms

The nicest thing about the future is ...
that it always starts tomorrow.
Money will buy a fine dog ...
but only kindness will make him wag his tail..

Sleepover at the Farm

A Rabbi, a Hindu Priest and an attorney were traveling together. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, their car broke down and they were stuck.

A Pinch of Gunpowder

A tough old cowboy from Montana counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning

Grounds for Divorce

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

Online Medical Test

Because I care about you, I want you to get checked outto make sure you're healthy and will be around longer!

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