music

Siamese Twins

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two draft beers please."

Saint Patrick Special Edition

Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to Antiques Roadshow.

”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

The Legend of the Jewish Samurai

Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.

Queenly Advice

Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.

Window Replacement

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with the expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind. Then this week I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still had not paid for them.

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