Chinese

Changes in Life

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life..."

Birthday Celebration

Denny’s has a slogan: “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”

Famous Composer Movie

Steven Spielberg contacted Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger and asked if they would appear in a huge film he was planning about famous composers.

After Life

Martha and John were deeply into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.

Deep Thinking

A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

The Wedding Crasher

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

Stages of Life

Captain Bravo

Long ago there lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my red shirt!''

Poisonous Mushrooms

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?"
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."

One-Question IQ Test

Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.

Spoiling the Scotsman's Wife

My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"

True Salesman

Two airmen, Jones and Davis, were assigned to the induction center, where they advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. Airman Davis went right to it with an enthusiastic pitch.

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