marriage

The Efficiency Expert

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/22/2014 - 10:12
A famous efficiency expert was lecturing to a senior MBA class at Harvard.
He concluded his lecture with a note of caution. He said, "I just want to warn you that you don't want to try these efficiency techniques at home."

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More Jewish Humor

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:37
A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

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Redneck Vacation

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:35
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob says, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go..."

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Missing

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/10/2014 - 14:12
A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?

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Spoiling the Scotsman's Wife

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:50
My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"

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Women Are Unique

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/25/2014 - 14:03
Husband:
Honey, a car has hit me near the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head was very strong; fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury

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Good Friday

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/18/2014 - 13:52
When God solves your problems, you have FAITH in HIS abilities;
when God doesn't solve your problems He has faith in YOUR abilities.

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Family Tree

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 01:03
A little girl asked her father,
"How did the human race start?"
The father answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."


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Not Working

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/04/2014 - 05:01
Came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator:

"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."

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Answering Machine Message

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 03/21/2014 - 13:38
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.

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Queenly Advice

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/21/2014 - 15:07
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.

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True Friendship

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 12/29/2013 - 07:05
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him, while his friend just watches and listens to her.

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