Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 08/22/2014 - 10:12
A famous efficiency expert was lecturing to a senior MBA class at Harvard.
He concluded his lecture with a note of caution. He said, "I just want to warn you that you don't want to try these efficiency techniques at home."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:37
A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:35
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob says, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go..."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/10/2014 - 14:12
A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.Husband
: I lost my
wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:50
My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/25/2014 - 14:03
Husband:
Honey, a car has hit me near the office.
Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head
was very strong; fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/18/2014 - 13:52
When God solves your problems, you have FAITH in HIS abilities;
when God doesn't solve your problems He has faith in YOUR abilities.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 01:03
A little girl asked her father,
"How did the human race start?"
The father answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/04/2014 - 05:01
Came home from the golf course
today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator:
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 03/21/2014 - 13:38
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/21/2014 - 15:07
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 12/29/2013 - 07:05
A man brings his best buddy
home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at
him, while his friend just watches and listens to her.
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