Grandma Lois has been writing short stories for as long as she can remember.  She also wrote a children’s book, Tom the Mouse, a story that has been passed on through the generations of her family.  She is grandmother to six grandchildren and ten great grandchildren. She loves traveling with all of them.

Let’s talk about the word “like.”  I’m sure you’ve like noticed the number of times a young person like uses the word as a verbal placeholder, often like several times in one sentence.  It’s annoying, but we’ve come to accept it. We old folks even find ourselves doing it.  Regarding legitimate uses of the word “like,” because I’m old school, I use “like” to compare things, but not to give examples. “A cucumber is like a zucchini in shape” shows comparison. When giving examples, some people would say “She grew several vegetables, like cucumbers.” I would say “She grew several vegetables, such as cucumbers.” To me, using “like” in this case suggests that the vegetables she grew are similar to cucumbers, when the person actually means that cucumbers are among the vegetables she grew.  Because of current usage, I’ve come to accept using “like” in this case, but I still believe “such as” is more accurate.

People may be proud of themselves when they use the word “whom” instead of “who.”  Many believe that if it comes in the middle of a sentence, it will be “whom.”  This isn’t always the case.  If the word is a subject instead of an object, no matter the location in the sentence, “who” is used.  An example is: “She is the one who carries the flag.” In this case, “who” is the subject. “Whom” is the object when saying “The person whom I met carries the flag.”

Recently, I’ve noticed that television actors will begin a sentence with “yeah, no,” which makes no sense. When I first mentioned this to my daughter Michelle, she wasn’t aware of the trend, but after I told her about it, she began to notice. Now, while watching television, Michelle and I have fun counting the number of times people begin sentences with “yeah, no,” and the count is really up there. You may not remember hearing this expression, but now that I’ve told you, be ready for it and you’ll be surprised how often it’s used. Another sentence starter is “I mean,” which should indicate that an explanation of what you just said is forthcoming.  If you haven’t yet said anything, what are you clarifying?  When I watch America’s Got Talent, I’m always surprised when Heidi Klum doesn’t begin a sentence with “I mean.”

For some reason that I can’t understand, the word “good” has become verboten.  Instead, people substitute the word “well.”  When asked “How are you,” the response will probably be “I’m well, thank you,” which is a fine answer if the person is inquiring about your health. However, if the person is asking about your general well-being, the answer should be “I’m good, thank you,” which for generations was the response given.  I have no idea why the word “good” grew out of favor.  Some people have really gone overboard using “well” instead of “good.”  Following are examples of instances when “well” was used erroneously when the word should have been “good.” During the CBS show Sunday Moring, an interviewer asked “So it’s very well to say . . .” In a scene from a period movie, while looking at a pair of shoes in a shop window, Maggie Smith said to a young lady, “I think those blue shoes would look very well on you.” Later, in speaking about a young man, she said, “He is very well to look at – very well indeed.” You’d think that the writer was forbidden to use the word “good.”

I believe it’s time to invent a new word for grown offspring.  I think “children” should refer only to individuals under 18 years old.  When I fill out forms in the doctor’s office, in the section about emergency contact, where it says “Relationship to patient,” one option is “child.” I always say to myself “Wait a minute – Michelle’s not a child.”

I’d like to talk about redundancy – using two words that mean the same. Some examples are “tiny little candle,” “final conclusion,” and “merge together.”  “Tiny” and “little” mean the same, as is the case with “final” and “conclusion” and “merge” and “together.” Then there are times when an unnecessary word is added. One that really bothers me, which we see everywhere, is “for free.”  Why not just “free”? “Buy two mustache combs and get a nose-hair trimmer for free.” I believe you get the nose-hair trimmer free. When I researched this, I found “for free” to be slang, but, of course, acceptable. 

Sometimes, rather than sound highfalutin, I’ll deliberately use poor grammar. Linking verbs – is, was – are followed by nominative rather than objective nouns.  Therefore, it’s correct. to say “It is I,” but I just may decide to be a maverick and say “It’s me.” There are other times when I deliberately break the rules.  For example, I often use the word “ain’t,” knowing full well that it’s wrong, but deciding it fits the mood.

One of the most widely made grammatical errors is the incorrect usage of the word “lay” when what is meant is “lie.”  You can lay something down, but you yourself lie down. After much cajoling from me, my family members have adopted the habit of using “lie” when appropriate, and they and I are definitely in the minority when we tell our dog to “lie down.” I’m on a quest to get people, medical personnel particularly, to learn to say “lie” instead of lay.  The reason for the emphasis on the medical profession is that one thing they say often to patients is “lay down.”  It should be “lie down.” I’m always so pleased when a nurse tells me to lie down that I feel like applauding. In a medical show I was watching, a doctor asked a patient to lay down. Not surprising.  Later, this same doctor asked the same patient to lie down.  One out of two – pretty good.  Later she said to the patient “I’m going to lie you down.” (Head slap). Oh well, can’t win them all. The doctor was “placing” (“laying”) the patient down. I’ll admit that grammar can be tricky — the fact that the past tense of “lie” is “lay” doesn’t help matters.  When people finally learn to say lie,” invariably, they’ll think that the past tense is “lied.”  Just remember: today I lie down – yesterday I lay down; today I lay something down – yesterday I laid something down. If a poll were taken, I think it would be found that most people use “lay” incorrectly when they should say “lie.” I’m optimistic enough to believe that references will not call the former “acceptable.”  

I always believed, and still do, that “between” is used when talking about two things and “among” is used for more. “Choose between apples and oranges,” and “Choose among apples, oranges, and pears.”  If you Google it, though, you’ll be told that “between” can be used when discussing more than two items.  The example given was “This is between you, me, and the bedpost,” a colloquialism, for heaven’s sake! The same holds true for “better” and “best.” When I went to school, “better” was used for two and “best” for three or more.  When I Googled it, I found “using ‘best’ for two is common and understood.”  So that’s the criteria now. We are living in an era of what I call “lax language,” which I attribute to laziness – as long as it’s understood, the hell with rules of grammar. Nevertheless, I’m adamant about some rules that I believe shouldn’t be bent.  I was reading that double negatives are now acceptable because of the Rolling Stones song, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction. Really? We’re going to base our grammatical rules on a bunch of aging rock musicians?

I found a hopeful sign in all this prevalent bad grammar. Usually when a misuse is labeled “acceptable,” there’s the caveat that it doesn’t hold true for formal writing. It’s good to know that we purists can still find reading materials that are grammatically correct. 

Obviously, I’m frustrated by the lax language prevalent today with obvious incorrect grammar being “acceptable,” but I won’t shed no tears.  No, I’ll just go lay down.

THE END

If you missed Part 1, CLICK HERE.

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Grandma Lois has been writing short stories for as long as she can remember.  She also wrote a children’s book, Tom the Mouse, a story that has been passed on through the generations of her family.  She is grandmother to six grandchildren and ten great grandchildren. She loves traveling with all of them.

I am pretty good at editing, one of the few things I think I do well.  I believe it’s a gift, but it can also be a curse. When I read a book, like it or not, I read it with an editorial eye, picking out every grammatical or punctuation error or poorly worded sentence.  I sometimes even mark up the book with my corrections.

I get perturbed when I see poor English usage in books, magazines,  newspapers, and television news programs because these writers are supposed to be experts.  I’m also pleasantly surprised when they get it right – especially when it’s an inaccuracy that has gained traction. An example is the tendency for most people to use “I” as an object instead of “me.” When a newscaster says, for example, “Please join Pam and I tomorrow,” I’m disappointed but not surprised; however, when he says the correct “Please join Pam and me tomorrow,” I’m surprised and delighted. If people would just say the sentence to themselves without the other person’s name, they’d realize that they need to say “me” instead of “I.”

When I’m asked “Can I help you,” I feel like answering, “I don’t know; are you physically capable of helping me?” I should be asked instead “May I help you?” meaning “Do I have your permission to help you?”  Then the salesperson might say “If you need me, I’ll be right over there.”  Again, my smart aleck mind wants to say, “And if I don’t need you, where will you be?” I admit that these thoughts go a bit overboard, but I tell you to show how my obsessive editorializing mind works.

A thing can’t be “very unique” because “unique” means “one of a kind.”  I also question “very excellent.”

I really believe that people are trying to sound scholarly when they say they are “feeling badly” rather than the correct “feeling bad.”  The only way you can feel badly is if you’re feeling an object and your fingers aren’t working properly.

I don’t know whether I’m offended or just feel sorry for people who mispronounce words.  First, I’m reminded of a friend who recently was telling me that she felt the same, stating that she becomes annoyed over the “mispronounciation” of words, not realizing that she herself was guilty of mispronouncing the word “mispronunciation.”  One of the most common mispronounced words is “nuclear.” Another is “pundit,” with people saying “pundunt.” Although a man may be prostrate when he has an examination, it’s not his prostrate that’s checked, it’s his prostate. A point that is not relevant is a moot point – not a mute point, which I guess would be a quiet point. The word “zoology” is pronounced “zo-ology”; in order to be “zoo-ology,” there would need to be four “o’s.” Speaking of “o’s,” although it’s incorrect to use the letter “o” for the number “zero,” I think people can be forgiven for making the substitution in the interest of brevity.

The tendency these days seems to be that the phrase “you’re welcome” is non-existent.  When you thank someone, the response will usually be “no problem.” When I thanked my great granddaughter the other day, she replied, “Of course.” Instead of being annoyed that she hadn’t used the obligatory “you’re welcome,” I thought it was kind of sweet – I don’t know whether it was because it really was sweet or because my great granddaughter is sweet.

Have you ever heard someone say that he or she is anxious to do something pleasant, e.g., “I’m anxious to go to Disneyland”?  Because “anxious” means “fearfully awaiting,” that would suggest that the person is expressing fear at the Disneyland prospect, which probably isn’t so – unless perhaps scary roller coasters are involved. Actually, the person is eager: ”I’m anxious about the upcoming weather because I’m eager to go to Disneyland.”

I’d like to discuss placement of the word “only.”  Many tend to put the word in the wrong place. An example would be “I only have one dollar,” which would suggest that the only possession I have is a dollar.  If I’m talking about the amount of money I have, what should have been said is “I have only one dollar.” Another example would be “I only delivered three packages.” That suggests that delivering three packages is the only thing I did. “I delivered only three packages” conveys the intended meaning.

When being trained, it seems that the number one rule taught to medical receptionists, salespeople, and wait staffs is to be sure to use the word “perfect” as many times as they can. “What is your zip code?” “97495.” “Perfect.” “Does your phone number end in 3977?” “Yes.” “Perfect.” “Did you get everything you needed today?” “Yes.” “Perfect.” “Would you like fries with that?” “No, thank you,” “Perfect.” Instead of being annoyed, I guess I should be thrilled to be so perfect. Oh, I forgot to mention, the pronunciation is usually “PURRR-fect.”

Speaking about wait staffs, some people get extremely irritated to be considered guys – “What can I get you guys?” I don’t mind it too much, probably because at my age it’s nice to be given a name usually reserved for young people.

My husband officiated basketball games. I recall that he would call flagrant fouls, meaning fouls that needn’t have been committed.  That’s the way I feel about the use of the words “they/them,” and “him/her.” Grammar aside, in my opinion, some of the errors made are mathematically incorrect.  I read in an advice column “Discuss this with an attorney and enlist their help.” I think that “their” shouldn’t refer to one attorney.  If the advice had said “Discuss this with attorneys and enlist their help,” that would have been mathematically correct, in my opinion. When I was in school, the proper format would be “Discuss this with an attorney and enlist his or her help.” In today’s climate, “his or her” can’t be used because it doesn’t include the people who claim to be neither. “They” has a completely different meaning, with sometimes being the preferred pronoun. There are so many pronouns floating around today that I guess writers solve the problem by using only they/their. I have even seen examples so flagrant that people use “their” when they know whether it refers to a male or female.  I read “My son’s backpack was left in their locker.” You know your son is a boy, so why not say “ . . . left it in his locker”?  Here’s another flagrant example. A woman wrote to an advice column that her husband was dragging his feet regarding legal matters.  The response read “If your spouse refuses to make arrangements for their possessions and directives concerning their health and demise, you may not be able to change their minds.” So, in addition to using “their” instead of “his” when talking about a husband, the columnist got so carried away with all of the “theirs” that she forgot she was dealing with one husband and made “minds” plural. I realize that the time has come when I need to accept wrong pronoun usages, but I reserve the right to grit my teeth while doing it.

It bothers me when I read about 2,000 troops being sent to a city, not only because it’s stupid to send soldiers or National Guard personnel to cities where they’re not wanted or needed, but because I don’t like using the word “troop” to mean one person.  My son belonged to a Boy Scout troop and my daughters belonged to Girl Scout troops. Each of them wasn’t a troop. I looked up the word and the definition was “A group of soldiers.”

When I don’t feel well, I may take my temperature by using a thermometer.  Invariably, someone will ask “Do you have a temperature?” Of course I have a temperature. I always do. What you mean to ask is whether I have a fever. Everyone always has a temperature – well, maybe dead people don’t, but come to think of it, I guess even they do.

END OF PART 1

Coming up: Part 2 will discuss the words like, good, whom, lay, and others, and how they are used incorrectly.

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Bill and Betty Condon are equally pleased with their cruise along the Mississippi River, with daily shore excursions to explore towns and other attractions along the way.

While these travel experiences are different in a number of ways, they share a common trait. Both are accessible to people who deal with a handicap.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, more than one in four adults in the United States suffer from some type of disability. Fortunately, this doesn’t prevent many of them from traveling to places near and far from where they live.

Some tour companies focus on offering trips for people with a handicap. These challenges vary from sight and hearing problems to mobility issues and other impediments. The goal is to provide an experience as equal as possible to that available to those with no such impairment.

Whether you – or a travel companion — deal with some sort of injury, loss of movement or other potential obstacle, help is on the way.

Mary Thompson received the assistance she sought and needed during her tour of Sicily with Easy Access Travel. That company specializes in accessible land trips and cruise vacations. As a result, Mary traveled through Sicily in a Mercedes Sprinter van equipped with an elevating platform and room enough to accommodate her open wheelchair, which enabled her to visit historic and other sites along the way.

The Condons were staying in one of the accessible wheelchair-friendly rooms which are available on American Cruise Lines ships. They appreciated the elevator, which provides ease of movement between decks, and the fact that the dining room, lounges and sun decks are wheelchair friendly. That also held true when they went ashore to take part in the daily sightseeing excursions which were offered.

Given the company’s name, it’s not surprising that Elder Treks caters to people age 50 and older. With that in mind, it rates trips on an activity level scale so participants may choose one which fits their preferences and physical state. Those who opt for itineraries identified as “easy” should be able to walk one-to-two hours through “varying levels of rugged terrain.” “Challenging” hikes may last five or more hours, cover at least five miles and traverse slopes that may be slippery.

As its name implies, Travel for All specializes in customized vacations for people with a variety of disabilities. The company works with more than 1,000 suppliers around the world, including land and tour operators, and cruise lines. After ascertaining a customer’s preferences and needs, the firm provides recommendations intended to fit individual travel styles.

Appropriately named Seeable Holidays goes well beyond just suggesting a trip for those with a sight impairment. It provides much of the planning and work which is involved. Travelers who are blind or partially sighted pick dates and a destination, submit a wish list and the company takes over.

Local chaperones with visual awareness training, who are knowledgeable about the destination and its history, spend 8-to-10 hours a day with visitors. In addition to introducing the must-see, must-do sites and attractions, these guides use their familiarity with the setting to steer visitors to the best local restaurants, keep them away from tourist traps and arrange private behind-the-scenes experiences.

This kind of help can take a travel experience to the next stage. From seeing a locale through the eyes of a resident to cruising along the Mighty Mississippi, whether sampling the sights of Sicily or enjoying a hike suited to your fitness level, a wide range of experiences awaits those who venture out close to where they live or around the globe. Many are available to people who deal with a physical handicap.

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Overpacking for a travel excursion, is a huge negative, and I’ve witnessed trips ruined regarding luggage that weighed more than gym weights. Here in Southern California with popular weekend cruises to Ensenada, Mexico, I’ve seen cruisers pack on enough luggage for a week’s trip to Buenos Aires. However, I neglected to follow packing light guidelines when on assignment for 10 days, covering editorially, “France by Train.” Stopping in Dijon, I was overwhelmed with the gastronomic depth of the city, and the Dijonnais, who are extremely proud of their culinary delights. I purchased a selection of Dijon mustards; Grey Poupon Dijon, Maille Dijon, Cassis de Dijon, two regional wines, olive oil, and a large loaf of bread.

Back on the train stopping at various cities, I was having immense trouble lifting the bag of Dijon on and off the train, the conductors giving me strange looks of, “Another dumb American traveler.” Finally, exhausted, and feeling like my arms were dangling from their sockets. I opened the bag, and to the shock and delightful surprise of the passengers, I offered them a selection of Dijon mustards, fine red wines, the bread and olive oil, and other Dijon culinary specialties, emptying the Dijon bag.

A smiling traveler from Switzerland said, “We just had a marvelous Dijon fiesta, and it must be a first on this train!” It was a huge release, and a lesson to pack light, and follow my own travel priorities. Arriving home, I visited my local market and purchased a jar of Dijon mustard, but it wasn’t the same.

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