Heather Kobler

Dear Heather,

I am a twenty two year old college student and my boyfriend and I are not married. Recently, I became pregnant and neither of us are ready to be married or become parents. I spoke with both my parents and pastor about my situation and adoption was discussed. My parents, (and his too) said they would support us in whatever decision we make. Please tell me what you think.


I understand the situation you and your boyfriend find yourselves in and adoption can be a blessing on both sides. Some adoptions are open where you can be a part of your child’s life and some adoptions are closed where you give up the rights to your child and have no contact at all.

I know several women who gave up a child at birth and each situation has its own unique set of circumstances. If you’re not ready to be parents, I think hoping to find a couple to provide your child with everything they need to go through life, is probably all you can think about in a situation like this.

To follow is a document I have had for many years. I have passed it on to both birth mothers and adoptive parents as well.
The Legacy of an Adopted Child
(Author unknown)

Once there were two women who never knew each other,
One – you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make yours.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun,
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you a need to love and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name,
One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears,
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up – that’s all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
Now you ask the age old question through the years,
Heredity or environment – which are you a product of?
Neither my darling – neither – just two different kinds of love.


Posted under: Heather

Tagged as: , , , ,

One comment

  • Tony on January 22, 2016 at 7:53 am said:

    Thanks for your article about adoption. I never realized that we can choose to accept both parents. The choice isn’t one or the other.

    I like your way of understanding the world because you seem to have learned so many lessons in life. I wish there were more seniors who lend their insights to the youth of today.

Leave a Reply