How Dare You!

Heather Kobler

Couples who decide to throw in the towel after 10 or 15 years of marriage should never use their children as ammunition against each other. If you did not know this before, here’s what you need to know: It’s your job to make yourself happy. Not your spouse and not your family, YOU. 

We are supposed to protect our children and be adults if we are ending a marriage. You will always be the parents of any children you have together and asking your children to take sides against the other parent is ridiculous and doing this can effect children for the rest of their lives.

If you want to learn to drive a car, you have to have at least 200 hours of training. There is no such requirement when people get married. You need to do some research in order to pick a mate. If people had to take a test to see if they are suited to each other, there would be less failed marriages and many more successes which would result in happier and more productive children who are goal oriented verses adrift at sea.

Meeting the parents of someone you are interested in should be essential before intimacy. Because, the way this couple and any siblings interact with each other, is the way this possible mate will act toward you. If a man tells you that he hates his mother, RUN, right now. If a women tells you she hates her father RUN, right now. We just cannot fix other people. They have to do that for themselves! Unless we have worked through our past, those of us who have been victimized, have a tendency to victimize themselves and those around them, instead of becoming victorious over past circumstances.

In the past, people spent time developing a relationship and entering into a sexual relationship came later. Today, people treat sex like an Olympic sport! Everybody is sleeping with everyone else. Is anything sacred anymore? Sharing your body with another human being is the most intimate thing you can do and there are consequences to this for sure.

If you care about yourself, you tend to care about the consequences of your actions. You may be getting a divorce, but your children will always be your children, and you and your ex-spouse will always be co-parents.

Complicating your life by starting a new relationship while you are in a marriage is not the best choice to make. You need to end a marriage before you begin something new because it takes many months to adjust and become clear about things.

Separating your children from one another and exposing them to new people they do not know and most likely will not ever respect, is something to consider. Talking with a close friend or seeking professional help to clarify things is a good place to start if you are thinking about ending a marriage.

Remember this; There is no action without a re-action.

Posted under: Heather

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One comment

  • Tony on May 10, 2016 at 8:43 am said:

    Wow! This is a scolding to many people. But I totally agree with you. We live in a society that is bombarded by wrong messages. People don’t want to take responsibility for their actions anymore and sadly they do the same to each other.
    Keep up the good work. I love your perspectives in life.

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