Memories Are Made of This

Heather Kobler

Dear Heather,

My husband of more than 40 years passed away about a year ago. I’m struggling to cope with feelings of loneliness. What has helped you deal with your situation?

Lonely Widow

Dear Lonely Widow,

My husband died on December 6th, 2009.  I wrote him letters throughout our life, during his illness, and continue to do this. I find much comfort in writing and it has helped me cope with his loss. I am very happy in my life and times because my life was filled with so much love.

Here is one of the letters I wrote him:

Dearest Sig:                                                                                                             03/30/2011

I just finished watching a program about the best movies ever made.  You and I saw most of them together during our almost 50 years together.  The first movie we seen together was West Side Story.

Casablanca, The Falcon, High Noon, E.T. Wizard of Oz, and The Sound of Music were on our favorite’s list.  Watching Oz and The Sound of Music was something we looked forward to each year when it became an annual event on television.

I even remember standing in line with the kids to see E.T. and the Planet of Apes as well as other blockbusters.  Sundays were always our family day and we drove all over Los Angeles and Hollywood.  You made those outings possible because you were always willing to work so hard.

Being able to be at home with the kids was awesome and all of us were better off because of it.

Movies were such an important part of our lives and we saw so many good ones together.  Remember, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and Midnight Cowboy?  Those were both really amazing films and we were both dumb founded because of the realism.  My parents were stunned by the acting and story line in both of those films.  I did not see “Big Country” in the theatre, but loved watching it with you for the first time on T.V.  When I hear the sound track from Big Country occasionally it brings me right back to the day we watched it together.

Some memories are indelible and they just never leave you because of the sound track.  Our daughter Petty loves the music from “Somewhere in Time” and listens to it all the time.  What a love story that was!  But not as good as ours was, that’s for sure!  Because we lived it and loved every day of our life together.  I know one thing for sure, you made me the leading lady in your life, and I made you the leading man in mine.  And, we were a dream team together.

I laughed when I think of you saying, “That’s another fine mess you got me into”, when we see a film I choose that you didn’t like.  I still think that when I go to a movie that’s bad!

I still dream of you all the time.  Wonderful dreams and some of them go back to when the kids were little.  Those were the best years of our lives.

I’ll see you in my dreams.



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