Heather Kobler

Dear Heather,

My husband has been offered the “Job of a Lifetime”, but it would involve moving from the east coast to Los Angeles. I would be leaving my family and many friendships behind. I’m a stay at home mom and I’m really afraid about this possible move. My husband told me we would move back home if it didn’t work out for us. What do you think? 

Barbara S.

Dear Barbara:

My husband was offered a job here in California and I was worried about making the move. I called my mother and asked her what she thought. She said, “Spread your wings and fly”!  She gave me permission to go and my husband gave me permission to move back if things didn’t work out.

I left a wonderful family behind and after moving here, I knew immediately that I needed to create my own family. Somehow I knew instinctively that you do not need to be biologically linked to people for them to become your family. Anyone you love becomes a part of your family. I slowly found other women who had similar values and the rest is history. I am still connected to family and school friends I moved away from.

Something very special happens when you make a geographical move. You find out exactly who you really are, because you and your husband rely on each other. Whatever life sends your way, you will work together to figure it out. You’ll act more like a team and right or wrong, you’ll own the decisions you make. Sometimes taking a survey before you decide something is not the best idea. Moving away can teach you things you cannot learn any other way.

I never realized that California would become a destination for my family and friends. My parents spent part of the winter and my children loved it. As long as there are planes, trains, buses, email and mule trains, you can get back and forth and stay as connected as you wish.

I think you and your husband will thrive in this environment and become closer than you ever imagine. I did – and what a ride it was!


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