The First Four Minutes

Heather Kobler


It doesn’t matter whether its morning, noon, or night. It is those first four minutes when you see someone that are the most important moments of your day. These few minutes will dictate not only how their day will go, but how yours will go too. Whether you are waking up your children for school or sitting down to breakfast with your spouse or family, or picking your kids up from school. Those first four minutes that you interact with anybody around you is what really matters.

When we meet someone for the first time and we are interested in them, we tend to give that person our undivided attention. Before electronics came along, it was easier to connect with others because we did not have these devices consistently interrupting us with phone calls, texts, email’s or breaking news.

Looking into someone’s eyes and telling them how much you love or value them is one of the most important things you can do with one another. And, being affectionate with the people you love is paramount. The more in tune you are with your own feelings, the more likely you are to be aware of what is said and done in the first four minutes that you interact with anyone.

Today, we seem to be losing ourselves to information we don’t want or don’t need. The most interesting thing about this situation is, we are being distracted from the most important thing we have – our family, friends and work. The end result is losing the people we love due to neglect. We never miss a chance to pet and talk to our animals and all they ever give us is unconditional love 24/7.

We need to stay connected and we also need to keep falling in love all over again and again. If we don’t stay connected, we lose what we may have spent years to develop. The only way I know to stay connected to family and friends is to give them my undivided attention when we are together. I am continually amazed by what I see when a young or older couple enter a restaurant together. They sit down and pull out their electronics! They do not make eye contact and it’s like they are dining alone.

Think of how good you’ve felt when someone smiled at you, or gave you a wonderful hug and told you how happy they are to see you. It’s like going to an emotional filling station. We all have emotional bank accounts. If people you know are making deposits into your emotional bank account, you can make deposits into their accounts, and everyone will be filled to the brim with contentment.

Some people make indelible impressions in our lives because they live every day as if it were their last. If you know people like this, you are fortunate because, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Planning ahead and having things prepared for the next day can make the next day go better for the entire family. Do not sabotage your tomorrow by not being prepared for it, and it’s the nicest gift you can give yourself.

Holding someone in your arms without saying a word is one of the most fulfilling things you can ever do. It costs you nothing, and its effect is lasting and just thinking about it feels good. And, being in the same room with someone you love can be electric. Being aware of those precious four minutes in time can change your life forever.

If today where your last day on earth, what would you say to the people you love?

Posted under: Heather

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