Spoiling the Scotsman's Wife

AS THE WEEK TURNS

It's been an interesting 1st week of May. The weather here in Los Angeles shifted dramatically from perfect chilly Spring to sizzling Summer. Firemen are busy snuffing out forest fires. In sports, the LA Kings, pulled off an historic playoff comeback trailing from a 3-0 deficit to elevate them to the next level towards the Hockey championship. Donald Sterling, the Clippers basketball owner is doing damage control for his racist comments. NBA players are up in arms against discrimination but wait ... don't they treat Jeremy Lin, a Chinese American, the same way? Hmmm ...

Here at home, I needed to pray for a few people. Early Monday, paramedics stormed inside our peaceful neighborhood, broke through a window, and wheeled out a neighbor on a stretcher. Another neighbor shared his concerns about needing to move to Texas because his wife's employers are moving there. Another friend asked for prayers as she faced some delicate medical procedures. Wednesday, I picked up a flu virus but my amazing wife healed me back to health overnight. Thursday morning, I accepted a challenging position as a board member of a non-profit to help build entrepreneurs. Later in the afternoon, I attended a friend's wedding shower and I was drafted into one of the parlor games. They dressed me up with a wedding dress made of toilet paper. Looking at my competition, I figured out that it wasn't the most creative design that was going to win but the best showman. Naturally, I hammed it up. I won! If they ever put that video up on Youtube, I'll feign temporary insanity. Perhaps the best news came from my son who said he was accepted in Columbia with a scholarship to boot.

Life pushes you up and pulls you down. I choose to focus on the "ups" beginning with the news from my son. Life is good!

Wisdom from Don of Kelowna, B.C.

My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"

So, being the generous Scotsman that I am, I thought stuff it!
I'll give her a treat ...

... so we walked past it again.

The Professor and the Student
Contributed by Mike of New York

(I doubt if this is a true story but it's still pretty clever. --- Raoul)

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, his professor, Mister Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him.

Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him as he expected, there were always "arguments" and confrontations.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, "Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."

Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper,
but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. "Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, "Each one takes what he doesn't have."

Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."

Videos of the week: (click on the picture)

Girl Pranks Teacher during April 1st Class
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Knowing that the teacher has a policy that if your cell rings in class, you must answer it on speaker, this student had a cunning idea. Her phone rings and as expected the teacher makes her answer it on speakerphone. What he wasn’t expecting was the caller to be a pregnancy clinic. The person on the other end of the phone can be heard telling the student that her test results of her pregnancy test have come back as positive and that she is indeed pregnant. To add insult to injury, she then tells the girl they understand she does not know who the father is which clearly makes the teacher very uncomfortable.The girl can be heard thanking the clinic for their time and hanging up the call. When the teacher then speaks to the girl telling her he would not have expected her to answer the phone on speaker phone if he had known, she tells him the name of the child It is then that everything makes sense.

The Oldest Flash Mob
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

These guys aren't the most talented flash mob but they entertain in their own way. Looking at their eager faces and the cheering crowd, you know they connected with their audience. An inspiration to us all.

Domino Soldiers
Contributed by Cheryl of Arcadia, CA

When you place a creative mind in charge of military drills, you come up with something like this.

Singer Sings Her Own Karaoke
Contributed by Levon of Century City, CA

If you're into country music, you should know Jewel. She pranked an audience in a Karaoke bar by singing her own hits. The crowd thought she sang better than the original.

Trained Bear
Contributed by Naomi of North Hollywood

They do things differently in Russia. They don't just train dogs. They train bears dog tricks and more.

Snooping Drone Steals Cell Phone Data
Contributed by Charlie of New York

Many of you subscribers thanked me for sending out a warning about Internet Explorer early this week. Well, we're not out of the woods yet. Did you know drones can steal your data through your WiFi gadgets like laptops, smart pads and smart phones? The lawmakers should get serious about internet crime. The risks are low while the profits are huge. Sadly, it's a good business model.

Chinese Dance Acrobats
Contributed by Norm of Arcadia, CA

This is an amazing performance. I wonder if there were any strings used here because some of their positions really defy gravity. What do you think? Enjoy your weekend! We have visitors coming over so I'm excited.