Stress Relief

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 02/21/2015 - 12:58
Just in case you are having a rough day (week, year, life), here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile."

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Tyrone

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 02/14/2015 - 07:46
None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You’re driving me insane, Tyrone!"

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Divorce Letter

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/06/2015 - 13:49
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years & I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been torture.

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Beware of Marines

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 16:36
A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters!"

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Home Security

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/23/2015 - 13:59
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.

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Senior Cheer

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 01/17/2015 - 14:31
What do we want?!!
Better Memory!!
When do we want it?!!

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Another Year

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 01/10/2015 - 02:16
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems colder.

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The Boss

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 01/02/2015 - 01:06
The boss was concerned that his employees weren't giving him enough respect, so he tried an old-fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said "I'm the Boss" and taped it to his door.

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Water in the Carburetor

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 12/27/2014 - 16:07
WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

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Irish Text

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 15:05
Paddy texts his wife... "Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes..."

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Female Perspective

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 12/13/2014 - 02:49
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman --- "which book has helped you most in your life?"

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Avocado Errand

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 15:08
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6."

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Rank Respect

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 11/30/2014 - 01:40
Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy
Officer: That's no way to address an officer!

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Thanksgiving Special

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 11/21/2014 - 12:47
Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

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Someone Cares

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 15:27
I want you to know that someone cares...

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