Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/10/2014 - 14:36
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/10/2014 - 14:12
A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.Husband
: I lost my
wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:50
My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/25/2014 - 14:03
Husband:
Honey, a car has hit me near the office.
Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head
was very strong; fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 01:03
A little girl asked her father,
"How did the human race start?"
The father answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/04/2014 - 05:01
Came home from the golf course
today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator:
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 03/28/2014 - 12:58
The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 03/14/2014 - 06:46
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to Antiques Roadshow.
”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:19
Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/28/2014 - 10:09
A new study has found that women with large backsides live longer than men who mention it.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 02/08/2014 - 05:57
Recently one Congressman from a Bible Belt congressional district was asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
The politician responded, "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it!"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Wed, 12/18/2013 - 09:36
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sun, 10/06/2013 - 06:05
Two airmen, Jones and Davis, were
assigned to the induction center, where they advised new recruits about
their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. Airman Davis went
right to it with an enthusiastic pitch.