music

The Boss

The boss was concerned that his employees weren't giving him enough respect, so he tried an old-fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said "I'm the Boss" and taped it to his door.

Irish Text

Paddy texts his wife... "Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes..."

Female Perspective

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman --- "which book has helped you most in your life?"

Rank Respect

Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy
Officer: That's no way to address an officer!

Someone Cares

The Airhead and the Crocodile Shoes

An airhead was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices...

The Bible In 50 Words

One More Chance

Bubba got a football scholarship at Dimwit College. He was a good running back but a poor student.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits.

Cantaloupes and Algebra

(I don't usually use other artist's works but I had to make an exception with this one from the great Charles Schultz --- Raoul)

Stuff You Didn't Know

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green....

More Jewish Humor

A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

Tick Warning

It's the scam of the summer! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM!!

Poisonous Mushrooms

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?"
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

Two Naughty Boys

Two little boys, ages 3 and 5, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

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