Doctor Ka-Ching

Do you like your doctor? If you know me, you know that I don’t really care for my doctor, Dr. Ka-Ching. He treats me like a number. And I don’t blame him. I don’t take him seriously and so he doesn’t take me seriously. When I go to him I prepare a list of things that I feel needs attention. And he goes down that list like it’s the funny papers — the silliest things in the world: “Dry skin? Nah! Don’t worry about it! There’s always skin lotion. Thinning hair? That’s normal — you’re old! Pain in your back? Just exercise! .. take 2 of these and you’ll be fine in the morning … next patient!”

A lot of help he is, huh? The only time I think he is truly happy is when he discovers something wrong with me because it means he can recommend more pills or get more commission referring me to a specialist. He’s recommended pills and physical therapists — none of them I agreed with and never followed up with. So every time I come for a checkup I get this disappointed face because even though I didn’t follow his advice he sees that I am still healthy.

However, things were different last month. I told him I was feeling pain near my groin every time I tried to get up. Ka-ching! His eyes lit up. “Drop your pants! Cough! Aha! You have a hernia! You need a surgery. (Oboy!) They’ll have to cut you open, put a mesh, sew you back together. You’ll feel pain for a while (Yes!) and that’s it!” 

Maybe I was imagining it but he really seemed to relish my impending suffering. I know for sure he loved saying “you have no choice but to have surgery” — that echoed several times in my head. Checkmate! He got me!

So here I am, waiting for a few more appointments before the big “snip snip” day. I’m not afraid of the operation. My biggest concern and regret is Dr. Ka-Ching having the last laugh. And if that’s my biggest worry, this shouldn’t be too bad.

TGIF people! I hope you take better care of your health. And if you feel sick, remember, I can always recommend my doctor. Not!

“I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you!”
— Bill Walton

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Naomi of North Hollywood, CA for sending this joke.

Videos of the Week

Toothpick Man
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Watch Jeanne Robertson, a masterful storyteller, who shares her encounter with a guy with a toothpick on his mouth.

We Made It!
Sent by Charlie of New Jersey

With so many safety regulations, you wonder how we survived when we were kids. Think about it. Is the world getting more dangerous or are we just getting stupider? Where does personal responsibility and common sense kick in?

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Heavy Thought of the Week

Sent by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Parting Shot

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this.

The post Creation Retold appeared first on Traveling Archive.