{"id":32453,"date":"2022-09-16T18:56:51","date_gmt":"2022-09-17T01:56:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/?p=32453"},"modified":"2022-09-16T18:58:42","modified_gmt":"2022-09-17T01:58:42","slug":"a-special-pig","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/a-special-pig\/","title":{"rendered":"A Special Pig"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Raoul’s Two Cents: September 16, 2022<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

A Bald Move<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I finally did it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My hair is gone. My Favio days are over. No longer will I be able to flick my hair in the wind. The last strands of my salt and pepper locks washed down the sink. When I look in the mirror, there\u2019s a stranger that greets me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, going bald was a procedure that didn\u2019t go very smoothly. I thought I had a good understanding about what was involved but no. It was a comedy of errors. In case you are thinking about balding your head too, let me share what happened. Learn from my mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to maintain his baldness with that gadget. So I went online and bought the cheapest rotary electric shaver. I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. I didn\u2019t know you\u2019re only supposed to use that shaver to maintain an existing bald head. So when I tried it on my overgrown buzz cut the shaver got stuck and literally tried to yank the individual follicles. I was thinking of retreating and doing more research but when I saw the unbalanced hairless patch on my front lobe, I knew I had reached the point of no return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I figured I needed to trim the hair as close to the scalp as possible to avoid the snags. But even that didn\u2019t work. I\u2019m not a shaver. I never had a lot of facial hair so I usually shave with just water. I remember seeing a movie where the barber puts this white foamy stuff before he shaved his customer. Aha! That\u2019s the secret — shaving cream!<\/em> Somebody had given me a shaving cream for Christmas some 10 years ago<\/strong>. The can was rusty<\/strong> but the content was still good. I was surprised it still worked. I massaged that cream into a lather and put it on my scalp. I waited a few minutes to soften my skin then proceeded to shave with a cheap plastic disposable shaver<\/strong>. It was like raking leaves with a toothbrush<\/strong>. It was a tedious process because I needed to wash down the clumps of hair that got stuck in the shaver. But eventually, I shaved off half of my head — the half that I could see. The hair on my nape and at the back were impossible to reach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So I asked my daughter for help because she\u2019s had experience cutting her friends\u2019 hair. \u201cYou\u2019re doing it all wrong! You\u2019re supposed to use a shearer,\u201d she said. \u201cI thought that was only for sheep,\u201d I laughed. She didn\u2019t think it was funny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWith a shearer this could be done so easily,\u201d she said with authority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut we don\u2019t have a shearer,\u201d I said, \u201cso let\u2019s just do with what we have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike most projects, you need the right tools. This is so wrong! You can get a shearer at Walmart for $15,\u201d she nagged, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this. I\u2019m afraid I will cut you. Why don\u2019t you just buy a shearer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy will I buy a $15 shearer when I will never use it again?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou’re so cheap, Papa! If you want, I can borrow my friend\u2019s shearer. I really don\u2019t want to do this,\u201d she repeated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nag, nag, nag. I realize I\u2019m arguing with her with my head looking like a messy, sticky white blob-dripping modern mixed-medium sculpture. Her heart wasn\u2019t in it so I told her to stop and washed up. Mission failed. Half of my back was still unshaven. I never felt so ridiculously ugly. As I lay in bed in defeat, I pictured myself in Walmart \u2026 people staring, laughing behind my back wondering where this Klingon from Star Trek<\/strong> came from — giving them a Vulcan hand gesture I say \u201cI come in peace! Lead me to your shearers!<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the middle of my self-pity, my wife comes in the bedroom and laughs at my head. She has never cut anyone\u2019s hair in her life so I didn\u2019t even bother to ask her. But desperate times call for desperate measures<\/strong> — I asked if she could finish the job. Surprisingly, she said she\u2019d do it. My wife! My savior! My friend!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was back in the sink and back to the lather and disposable shaving blade. It wasn\u2019t even a minute when she realized what she had gotten into. It was nag, nag, nag again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you just go to the barber tomorrow? Why don\u2019t you get that shearer, etc.\u201d It\u2019s unmistakable that she is my daughter\u2019s mother — a nonstop recording of how this was a bad idea. I decided to shut my mouth and laughed at this silly predicament I got myself into. It didn\u2019t take more than 30 minutes but with the yakking, it seemed like hours. It was done. I was completely bald. Thank you! (So that\u2019s what wives are for.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT IT”S LIKE BEING BALD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A quick shower and I rubbed my head. What a weird feeling. I thought it was going to be smooth like a baby\u2019s bottom but it actually feels like sandpaper<\/strong> because of the little stubs of hair clinging on for dear life<\/strong>. And there are mounds and craters in my scalp that I never knew existed because they were always covered with hair. And it\u2019s cold when I lay my head on the cold leather sofa. I now understand why baldies wear beanie caps. When I bump my head I feel the full force of the impact. I\u2019m afraid I might crack my skull.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s obvious where I cut myself shaving. You can\u2019t call it a bad hair day so what do you call it? The worst part is the pigment areas where I shaved are so much lighter than the rest of my head. I think I should go get a tan somewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but getting a haircut is a pampering ritual that never appealed to me. The advantage with this new look, is I will never never never have to go to a barber for the rest of my life. Was it worth it? Oh yeah \u2026 I think so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TGIF people!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raoul<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joke of the Week<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Frank of Alhambra, CA<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Art by Raoul Pascual<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Videos of the Week<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Garie of the City of Paranaque, Philippines for this thought-provoking essay from Carl Sagan called “The Pale Blue Dot.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Another one from Garie. This time a funny story about a Polish Man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Wynn of Mandaluyong, Philippines, for this quick quiz. I didn’t know the answer to 3 of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Parting Shots<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

These I found:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to maintain his baldness with that gadget. So I went online and bought the cheapest rotary electric shaver. I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. I didn\u2019t know you\u2019re only supposed to use that shaver to maintain an existing bald head. So when I tried it on my overgrown buzz cut the shaver got stuck and literally tried to yank the individual follicles. I was thinking of retreating and doing more research but when I saw the unbalanced hairless patch on my front lobe, I knew I had reached the point of no return.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":32466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[818],"tags":[6846,6615,6847,1247,6844,6125,6845],"class_list":["post-32453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raouls-tgif","tag-70s","tag-bald","tag-dad-jokes","tag-dogs","tag-favio","tag-pig","tag-shaver"],"yoast_head":"\nA Special Pig - Traveling Archive<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/a-special-pig\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Special Pig - Traveling Archive\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to maintain his baldness with that gadget. 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