{"id":34410,"date":"2023-02-06T04:08:52","date_gmt":"2023-02-06T12:08:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/?p=34410"},"modified":"2023-02-06T04:14:22","modified_gmt":"2023-02-06T12:14:22","slug":"stuff-that-make-no-sense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/stuff-that-make-no-sense\/","title":{"rendered":"Stuff That Make No Sense"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Raoul’s Two Cents:<\/strong> February 3, 2023<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Drop Your Pants<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Are you easily embarrassed? Maybe you can relate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After dinner last weekend, I attempted to get up from my chair but a stabbing pain ran down from my stomach to the front of my left thigh. I had to grasp the table to lift myself up ever so slowly. In two days, I was at the Urgent Care Facility waiting for a checkup with the doctor. I was surprised to see a female doctor. And I thought \u201cno way is she going to check me down there!\u201d<\/em> Wasn’t there an unwritten rule that male patients only meet male doctors?

Just to be clear, I have no problem with Dr. Biren, my regular-cool<\/em>-male doctor, when he asks me to drop my pants to check my colon. I’ve even gotten used to the strange sensation of being in prison with an enterprising inmate poking at my rear insides.

I know what you\u2019re thinking: \u201cRaoul, you\u2019re such a prude.\u201d <\/em>I guess I am. No one touches (nor even sees) me down there except my wife and Dr. Biren. So this female doctor \u2026 this was different. Now you\u2019re talkin\u2019 invasion of privacy! I want my lawyer!

I waited for her command to drop my pants. But instead, she said \u201cCan you lift up your shirt? Where does it hurt? Is it here below your left stomach?\u201d<\/em> She proceeded to poke my tummy like the Pillsbury doughboy.It was a game we played. We both knew it would be easier if I dropped my pants but she wasn\u2019t going to give the order and neither was I going to volunteer and show my family jewels.

She checked my vitals, checked my breathing, made me cough, asked a few questions and in a few minutes the ordeal was over. She asked me for a small gift \u2014-\u00a0a urine sample. Now that, I could do.

In the bathroom I understood what my 2 dogs go through whenever I take them for a walk: \u201cGo pee Tonka. Go pee Tinker.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Like a good doggy I delivered the goods. Proud of myself. I walked out to my car but I knew this was a temporary freedom because I was due for an ultra sound the next day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there I was in the hospital Imaging Room … alone with a large female nurse named Helga<\/strong>. A movie reel rolls in my head: I refuse to go \u201ccommando,\u201d<\/em> so she wrestles me to the ground, calls for backup and five other hairy, burly women with moustaches enter out of nowhere, strip me naked and hose me down as I shriek — “You’ll never get me copper!”<\/em>

\u201cMr. Pascual? Mr. Pascual? Sorry to interrupt your daydreaming but could you lie down on the examination bed, please? Could you unbuckle your belt, please?\u201d<\/em>

\u201cHere we go again,\u201d <\/em>I shivered. “So this is when I drop my pants. This is when the world ends. Does she not know that my Johnsons are on a need-to-see basis only? The nerve! Where’s my lawyer?”<\/em>

\u201cExcuse me Mr. Pascual. You’re daydreaming again. No need to drop your pants. Just lower it enough so I can put this cold, gooey, yucky gel on your bloated little tummy. Good boy! Now let\u2019s see if you\u2019re pregnant.\u201d<\/em>

She probes but doesn\u2019t see anything so she asks me to stand. Still nothing. She makes me cough. Nothing. She takes ultra sound pictures and says she will submit the evidence to the doctor. I walk out a free man. Hours later, I get the results: No hernia! Yay! But it appears the pain must be from my groin. In other words, I had to schedule with my regular doctor for the next step.

I know for sure he\u2019ll have me drop my pants but I\u2019m glad it\u2019s going to be Dr. Biren — my cool-Indian-doctor. Never thought I\u2019d say that. Stay tuned. Pants drop in select theaters mid-February. Tickets on sale now! Not!

TGIF people! Let’s remember to always keep our pants up! Save the planet!

Raoul<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joke of the Week<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Richard of New Manila, Philippines<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Art by Raoul Pascual<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Video of the Week<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Jay of Makati, Philippines who shared a sophisticated comedy about
spilling on the table and other day-to-day frustrations<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Click for All Your Pain in One Video.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Parting Shots<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I found these<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
This cartoon is dedicated to Hannah and Otto.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After dinner last weekend, I attempted to get up from my chair but a stabbing pain ran down from my stomach to the front of my left thigh. I had to grasp the table to lift myself up ever so slowly. In two days, I was at the Urgent Care Facility waiting for a checkup with the doctor. I was surprised to see a female doctor. 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