![\"Heather](\"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/departments-heather1.jpg\")
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As I come to the end of this year, I must take stock of what the year brought me and what it took away.\u00a0 On March 17th<\/sup>\u00a0I lost my 57 year old son Happy in a car horrific accident and then on Nov. 11th<\/sup>\u00a0I lost my beloved 49 year old son-in-law Danne. Dying at such a young age just does not compute and if you suffer a loss like this, it is reconciliation that helps you to work through your grief and I am trying to do that this the best way I can.<\/p>\n Growing up I was always taught that \u201cLife is for the living, and we all take a turn at dying, that we are all terminal, we just don\u2019t know our expiration date\u201d.\u00a0 Understanding these things has helped me to accept these losses the best way I can.<\/p>\n Such kind and loving men who loved all the people they had befriended all of their lives, who were \u201cThere\u201d when needed.\u00a0 Both of them gave tirelessly to others with endless energy to friends who needed help.\u00a0 My son Happy did not have children, but Danne has twin boys 26 year old who are dealing with the loss of a father by supporting each other and their mother Petty the best way they can.<\/p>\n Grief is like your own personal storm and something like a kaleidoscope.\u00a0 Some days it\u2019s a hurricane and other days the sun seems to appear if only for a brief moment.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost like grief has a life of its own.\u00a0 It ebbs and flows, in and out, up and down, and all the while you are trying to navigate those choppy waters and keep your balance at the same time.<\/p>\n For me, choosing to celebrate the life of a loved one and remembering all the wonderful memories you shared together is how I cope.\u00a0 When my husband died eight years ago on a Sunday, I went to work on Monday.\u00a0 One of my friends asked me how I could go to work the day after he died.\u00a0 I said, \u201cHow can you ask me to defend how I\u2019m coping, being at work is my normal\u201d.\u00a0 I cried the whole day long but no one came in the showroom that day.\u00a0 You have to do what is \u201cNormal\u201d to you.\u00a0 And, if that\u2019s square dancing, then that\u2019s what you should be doing!\u00a0 Unless and until you suffer a similar loss, you won\u2019t understand what someone goes through in the grief process.<\/p>\n Just because you\u2019re not crying, doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not grieving.\u00a0 Unless the words come out your mouth, no one knows what you\u2019re going through.\u00a0 That\u2019s why talking and writing about your loss is so important.\u00a0 I still write my husband and dream of him frequently.\u00a0 I end each letter I write by saying, \u201cI\u2019ll see you in my dreams\u201d.\u00a0 And\u2026 I do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As I come to the end of this year, I must take stock of what the year brought me and what it took away.\u00a0 On March 17th\u00a0I lost my 57 year old son Happy in a car horrific accident and then on Nov. 11th\u00a0I lost my beloved 49 year old son-in-law Danne. Dying at such …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":3611,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[343],"tags":[585,584,339],"class_list":["post-3607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dear-heather","tag-grieving","tag-reconciliation","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"grieving\"](\"https:\/\/travelingboy.com\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/grief.jpg\")
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