Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, California

Raoul’s 2 cents

Legacy Shells

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes below.

A dear friend of mine sends me verses every day. This morning, he sent me a poem he wrote about grace and peace which created an image in my mind of a shell in a calm sandy beach. I was transported to my carefree childhood summer vacation — lying down on my stomach along the sandy beach, surrounded by an assortment of smoothly eroded, broken, white and pink, perforated, corals and shells. As the lapping waves pushed one shell to shore, I wondered what happened to the creature that lived in that shell. Was it eaten by some sea monster? Did it die of old age? Now, nothing’s left of the soft slimy muscle tissue of this mollusk … only the beautiful fossilized home of the snail remains as a testament that it once slithered on the ocean floor. To think that each of these other shells has a story to tell.

Most shells are tossed away because they are broken. Tiny uninteresting skeletal remains are strewn all over this coral cemetery by the sea. But the few unbroken gorgeous works of natural art that make it ashore are grabbed by collectors who display them in prominent home mantels for their beauty to be appreciated for generations.

Human shells
Aren’t our bones so similar to sea shells? Some extraordinary people transform into rooks, bishops and queens. These special ones are buried in tombs of gold in honorable display. But most of us remain as pawns in the chess game of life and our bones and ashes return to earth … remembered for a generation or two and then slowly fade away. Nothing wrong with that.

Ever wonder about your legacy? What on earth will they say in your funeral?

“Here lies Father … I guess that’s it for your Dad Jokes.”

“Goodbye Mom … your secret recipe dies with you — probably the best!”

“Goodbye dear friend. You left us too early. Next time, when the sign says ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ — do not touch!”

“Hey honey, I knew you wanted me to publish your precious poetry but I spilled coffee on the manuscript and the dog ate it … well at least the dog thought it tasted good!”

Would you want your bones preserved in “honorable display?” Not me. My wife hates it when I tell her not to spend on my funeral. “Just flush my ashes down the toilet,” I tell her, “I don’t really care. My body is just a shell.” I can just imagine my funeral scene. It’ll be great! A throng of visitors will be packed like sardines in this dinky little bathroom. “Alas poor Raoul, had it not been for his insomnia, he should have died peacefully in his sleep … instead, he died in excruciating agony with his eyes wide open.” FLUSH!

But I know my wife … she’s going to defy my orders and do something elaborate and decent. People will be forced to say good things about me so don’t believe anything they say. Honestly, I’d be happy if they simply said “Raoul loved God, loved his family and loved people. He was a follower of Christ. Well done, good and faithful servant.”

This Friday, my wife and I will be attending a funeral for the man who gave my wife her dream job. He was a slick dresser so I will honor him by wearing a suit. Sadly, I remember a brilliant businessman who was so stubborn and proud that he hurt so many people. He was looking for his family at his deathbed but only one son attended his funeral. The others refused to come.

If you were to die today, what legacy will you leave behind? What kind of shell will you be? Breakable or collectible? Forgotten or remembered? Are people surrounding you only for your money? Have you enriched the lives of others? Or do you have a lot of catching up to do? Well, what are you waiting for?

TGIF people!

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Quotes of the week

“He always said he’d rather be late than never show up – except this time.” — Anonymous

“She claimed she’d never be caught dead in a dress – well, here we are.” — Anonymous

“Her last words were ‘Delete my browser history.'” — Anonymous

“He believed in living life like a roller coaster – lots of ups, downs, and occasional screaming.” — Anonymous

“She wanted us to remember her as she lived – slightly inappropriate and usually laughing.” — Anonymous

“And the Lord said to Jehu, ‘Because you have done well in doing what is right in My sight, and have done to the house of Ahab all that was in My heart, your sons shall sit on the throne of Israel to the fourth generation.'” — 2 Kings 10:30

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” — Hebrews 13:5

“As for the bones of Joseph, which the people of Israel brought up from Egypt, they buried them at Shechem, in the piece of land that Jacob bought from the sons of Hamor the father of Shechem for a hundred pieces of money. It became an inheritance of the descendants of Joseph.” — Joshua 24:32

Memes of the Week

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena. CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Jacob of Whittier, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

I found these

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these:

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The post Random Thoughts appeared first on Traveling Boy.

Money and the Pursuit of Happiness

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes below.

A few days ago, someone mentioned that she came from a wealthy family. She said her grandfather owned a coal mine. “What an odd statement,” I thought. Why would anyone declare she was wealthy? Why would wealth even matter? Does wealth change our relationship? Will I need to bow down and worship? The rolodex in my mind flipped through a list of the many who I consider “wealthy.” Is there anything I could learn from them?

LIFETYLES OF THE RICH AND INFLUENTIAL

• My Grade School classmate was the son of the President and their family dominated Philippine politics for decades. He never stood out in class. He was more of a reluctant heir to the throne.
• Sone of my childhood playmates were the children of an Asian monarchy (Shhh!). Their parents used to shower us with jewelry. They live very simple, hard working lives.
• My High School seatmate was soft spoken, decent, respectful and came from a poor family. He always wore the same shoes, pants and shirt every day. I knew he was smart. Today he’s a self-made millionaire, owns two high rise hotels and has a private yacht. I have many other classmates who are leaders in their technical industries.
• My older brother’s girlfriend was a direct descendant of James Fenimore Cooper (the famous frontier novelist). I believe her (old rich) family practically owns most of Cooperstown in New York state. Her family was down-to-earth, simple and accommodating. Their grandmother lived by herself in a loft in Park Avenue.
• The father of my friends in San Francisco invented cable TV. Aside from her work, she was a busy Mom caring for her son and doing menial housework. Still, she found time to serve and tour us around when we came to visit.
• My parents had friends in high places in politics and industries: Supreme Court Justices, a shipping mogul, restaurant owners, socialites, and factory owners.
• One of my closest friends is a retired oncologist who owns a mansion right beside a golf course. He loves cars. He flies private planes, is generous and always fun to be with. We would get into deep conversations.
• The father of my friend was classmates with Prime Minister Lee Kwan Yew of Singapore. His family never asked any favors. They could have been wealthy but my friend lives a very simple life.
• Another rich and humble friend co-owned a computer chip-making factory. He contracted cancer. His doctors said he could live indefinitely as long as he could afford the regular chemo. He survived for a year or two until he died suddenly of pneumonia complications.

So there are quite a few in my list and, interestingly, none of them fit the pompous aristocrat stereotype. In fact, many desire anonymity and to blend in with the rest of us peasants. They are normal people facing the same challenges of life.

“How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar,” said John D. Rockefeller

THE DNA OF THE RICH
They say the Chinese never pay full price. They will never be happy unless they get some sort of discount. (Maybe it makes them feel superior to outdo someone.) A dear friend, who comes from a rich Filipino-Chinese family, invited me to join his brood and other wealthy friends on a road trip vacation. When we stopped over at a poor village, a throng of fruit vendors surrounded our van. A little boy dressed in rags peddled his wares in front of my friend’s mother. The heiress couldn’t help herself and haggled for a lower price. And she got her discount.

PRICE TAG OF HAPPINESS
Most people blur where wealth and happiness collide. I asked my teenage grand kids how much money they would need to be happy. And their blank stares revealed money was not important in their world. Profound! Perhaps I should go back to their monetary innocence. True, money is important … but I shouldn’t be obsessed with it. Perhaps I should trust the Lord more. After all, chasing money is just the means to the real goal of contentment. And contentment can be achieved in ways other than money. Good health, a warm embrace, a clear conscience … one doesn’t need money for any of that.

Below is an excerpt from the play “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” that brings me back to the days of innocence when having money only meant being able to buy candies.

CHARLIE BROWN:
(spoken) I’m so happy! That little red-haired girl dropped her pencil—it has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil. She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all
(sung) Happiness is finding a pencil

[SNOOPY]
Pizza with sausage

[LINUS]
Telling the time

[SCHROEDER]
Happiness is learning to whistle

[LINUS]
Tying your shoe for the very first time!

[SALLY]
Happiness is playing the drums in your own school band

[CHARLIE BROWN]
And happiness is walking hand in hand

How important is money to you? Are you sure money will bring contentment? TGIF people!

If you like my blog, please do me a favor and spread it around. Thank you!

Quotes of the week

“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more,”

— The Grinch

“I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.”

— Pablo Picasso

“Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.”

— Anonymous

“For I don’t care too much for money, for money can’t buy me love.”

— The Beatles

“If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.”

— Dorothy Parker

“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.”

— Proverbs 3:9-12

“While Jesus was in the Temple, he watched the rich people dropping their gifts in the collection box. Then a poor widow came by and dropped in two small coins. “I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.”

— Luke 21:1-4

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

— Philippians 1: 11, written by Paul while he was in prison.

Memes of the Week

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena. CA

Thanks to Jacob of Whittier, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

I found these

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these:

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The post Asking For a Bike appeared first on Traveling Boy.

Invisible People

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes below.

Logan’s body was a tattoo artist’s canvas. Hieroglyphics were written all over his face which matched the graffiti he plastered all over his beat-up Honda sedan. Even though he went to my church, I never really got to know him … until I invited his caretaker for lunch and Logan (uninvited) tagged along. Boy, was it an eye opener!

Have you ever talked to a vagrant in the streets? I have … but those instances are few and far between. My very first encounter was an unkempt, moustached woman (in the college campus) who twirled her hair and constantly had conversations with herself … often with cigarette in hand. She never bothered anyone and nobody talked to her. We were insensitive and secretly called her the “crazy woman.”

A few years ago, I drove a friend to the ER. While waiting at the lounge, a deranged woman screamed for medication while the nurses and the other guests avoided her stare. I wanted to comfort her but feared I would not be able to retreat to my privacy. I chickened out.

A few months ago (I shared here in this TGIF email that) a homeless woman found comfort in a discarded cushioned sofa. She was putting on makeup and lighting up a cigarette. Again, I had the urge to greet her but I didn’t want to engage in a constant dole out for her addiction — an understandable (and often used) excuse, don’t you think?

So as I munched my hamburger, Logan shared his troubled homeless life. He was orphaned because he was born with physical deformities. He was transferred and abused from one foster home to another. That’s when he started his collection of tattoos and piercings. Like most self-mutilators, the physical pain countered the mental anguish that had become his normal reality. Internally he was shouting for attention so he could expose the injustice of his prison institution. But the more he disfigured himself, the more he became invisible.

Then, just before he was to undergo metal horn implants on his forehead, he found Jesus. Someone actually stepped into his world and offered love. Fast forward to the present. Logan (who was surprisingly articulate) has since shared his story on countless occasions. Mister Invisible was now speaking in front of thousands. He has even flown to faraway places to share his adventure. I never knew he was quite a humble superstar. To be honest, he still suffers physically and mentally due to the years of abuse but he is definitely improving. He has a strong sense of humor and plays tricks on his therapist. (This week he shocked his therapist by leaving a mannequin on a toilet seat). He’s a cool dude. He is currently recovering from a recent operation because his internal organs were not where they normally should have been.

SIDELINE: I apologize to some of you readers who squirm at the mention of Christ’s name but this is part of his story. In deference to you, this is all I will say about his faith.

A dear friend who recently retired in comfort confessed he is bored and has been musing over what to do in retirement. Yesterday he called with an idea to start a program to help the homeless. (What a coincidence!) He had a novel idea to address this problem (I can’t share what it is yet) so I will be pulling some people together to see if this is a viable project. Who knows? Maybe this will be the start of something big. Maybe the invisible population will start to join the rest of society. Let me know if you are interested in participating.

Until then, TGIF people!

If you are interested, TRAVELING BOY has a first hand story about a man who was placed in a Mental Institution. See the world from his eyes. CLICK HERE.

If you like my emails, please do me a favor and spread them around. Thank you!

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“Great fences make great neighbors, but Wi-Fi passwords make better friends.” — Anonymous

“My neighbor’s BBQ is my weekend temptation.” — Anonymous

“Living next to me should come with a disclaimer sign.” — Anonymous

“Neighbors who listen turn ordinary days into therapy.”— Anonymous

“People who are homeless are not social inadequates. They are people without homes.” — Shiela McKenzie

“We have come dangerously close to accepting the homeless situation as a problem that we just can’t solve.” — Linda Lingle

“Was I always going to be here? No I was not. I was going to be homeless at one time, a taxi driver, truck driver, or any kind of job that would get me a crust of bread. You never know what’s going to happen.” — Morgan Freeman

“Seven out of 10 Americans are one paycheck away from being homeless.” — Pras Michel

“Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in the law, ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not?’ But they remained silent. So taking hold of the man, he healed him and sent him on his way. Then he asked them, ‘If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?’ And they had nothing to say.” — Luke 14: 3-6

“He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ’You have answered correctly,’ Jesus replied. ‘Do this and you will live.’ But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” — Luke 10: 27-29

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Alex of La Puente, CA

MEMES of the Week

Thanks to James of Los Angeles

Thanks to Kathy of North Dakota

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, California

Thanks to Norm of Encino, California

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, California

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

I found this:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these:

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this email.

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The post Suspicious appeared first on Traveling Boy.

Four Ladies and Me

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes below.

Last week, my wife had a board retreat in Palm Springs so I tagged along. Most of the time, when I join my wife’s work activities, I just stay in our hotel room. You see, I’m not really into traveling and I don’t really care for the long rides — be it on a boat, or in a float … in a train, or on a plane … on a van or on a tram … I do not like them, Sam I am! Nope, hate wasting my time like that. I can’t wait for Elon Musk to invent a teleportation machine and say — “beam me up Scotty!” But we are not there yet. This time I rode a tramway to the top of the world with four sweet ladies.

These ladies were the wives of the other board members who, like me, had nothing better to do. They invited me to join them ride the famous Palm Springs Aerial Tramway. So famous in fact, I had never heard of it. Although the tram is one of those slow modes of transportation, I did accept the invitation and I did enjoy their company.

As I sat in the SUV, I recalled the many occasions I had been the only male surrounded by women. I dunno, they’re comfortable with me and I’m comfortable with them. And, remarkably, it’s usually four of them. I grew up with four sisters — maybe that’s why. But being comfortable wasn’t always the case. I used to be an introvert … especially when it came to women.

GROWING UP IN AN ALL-BOYS SCHOOL
In Grade School, boys were supposed to hate girls. Remember those days? Boys were not supposed to be interested in girly things. But that changed dramatically when we hit the puberty years in High School. Those were the crazy years. We fought for independence and coolness. The rebellious ones started smoking and drinking. Suddenly I (and the rest of my pimpled classmates) started noticing the other gender. As a whole, we were truly ignorant of the female species. We didn’t know what they were interested in. How did you start a conversation? Surely they liked basketball and boxing and Kung Fu movies, right?

This is how innocent we were: I remember planning for our first dance party. Yup! We were going to meet the “enemy.” We didn’t know how to dance so the weekend before, we decided to practice. Naturally, nobody knew how. However, my best friend, Fernando, came up with this weird dance move where we created an imaginary square and where we stepped on the edges of the square in a clockwise motion and just wiggled our arms around. We thought that was better than nothing. You should have seen us on the actual dance floor counting 1-2-3-4 … 1-2-3-4 … like robots. I think the girls thought it was a new dance craze.

First year of college was exciting. For the first time, we were going to school with these mysterious creatures. Many of the girls had similarly come from all-girl schools so both sexes were discovering the other. You could have seen the hormones flying. And this was the first time I found myself with 4 women friends. I don’t know how it happened but it did. They were the pretty “mean girls” and I was the token boy. There was no romance. We just enjoyed hanging out. I have long lost my connection with any of them. In later years I’ve had similar clumps of women friends — also without any romance. And I have no idea where they are now. Do you know of any other groups like mine? Was this common?

BACK TO THE PRESENT
You would think that, with all my “extensive experience” with women friends, that I’d be an expert in understanding these creatures, but no. Women are still as unpredictable as ever. In fact, I just recently lost a dear friend because of something I said. Not even sure what I said but it hurt her deeply. Instead of helping, I made things worse. Some “expert,” right? (Or is this not a guy and gal thing but a “people” thing?) One of the problems is men want women to be more like men and women want men to be more like women. And, when men treat women like men, they find out they should have treated them like women. Confused? Well, so am I.

It’s Mother’s Day this coming Sunday. To all you mothers out there (in behalf of all of the men) thank you for putting up with us. We may not understand you and you may drive us crazy but you did a heck of a job raising our kids (better than we could have alone) and you make the world fun and exciting!

TGIF people!

If you subscribed to my email blast, you should know that I am trying out this new mailing program. I’m still adjusting to the system. Please let me know if you are having any problems receiving this email. And, if you receive this email by mistake, please accept my apology and let me know you wish to unsubscribe. Thank you!

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” — Genesis 1:27

“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.” — Jill Shalvis

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” — Elayne Boosler

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” — Joseph Conrad

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” — Genesis 2:18

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” — Ephesians 5:33

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Joe of Los Angeles, CA

MEMES of the Week

Thanks to James of Los Angeles

Thanks to Kathy of North Dakota

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, California

Thanks to Norm of Encino, California

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, California

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these:

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this website.

The post Anger Management appeared first on Traveling Boy.

Garage Door Repair

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

Today’s topic is a little bit different because I put on my repair hat and I think it’ll be good for you (who own a home with a garage door) to know what is involved in its expensive repair. Hopefully, I will save you some time and money.

THE DO-IT-YOURSELF PHASE
My garage door suddenly died. I clicked on the remote — nothing! I clicked on the wall switch — nothing! No lighting … no sound … nothing! That began my adventure to the wonderful world of garage door repair.

Off the bat, I knew it had to be the circuitry … ie. an electronic problem (and not a mechanical problem) because if it were mechanical, the light would have turned on and I would have heard the motor running. I stared at the garage circuit box overhead for a long time. “How do I open you up? Where will I find the circuit board and will I be able to pinpoint the defective diode (resistor or capacitor)?” I’m hoping it’s just a simple fuse. And then I reminded myself that I’m a senior citizen now and falling off a step ladder would most certainly bring death by a thousand slings of arrows of outrageous fortune. In plain terms, “do I really want to do this?”

A neighbor recently had to replace her garage door remote and it cost her $800. Shock! Being the legendary cheapskate that I am, I boldly went where no cheapskate had gone before. I accepted the challenge! I mean, how hard could it be?

My Dad inspired me to fix things ever since I was a kid. I was his reluctant weekend assistant whenever our blue Chevrolet station wagon broke down. Our garage was full of opened radios,TVs and broken electronic trophies that I tinkered with to discover their inner workings. I also went to the Don Bosco Technical Institute (a private High School for boys) and took vocational mechanics – I learned how to arc weld and acetelyne torch … how to operate a lathe machine and a milling machine. I learned drafting and understood schematic diagrams — so I knew a thing or two about repairs. With all my illustrious technical achievements, no garage door apparatus was going to scare me.

It was a strain on my aging muscles to unscrew that overhead case but I finally got that circuit board out — a marvelous piece of wired-up, worthless junk. I did a visual and sniffed for anything burned — nothing! But I was dead certain it was the culprit … it was the only logical explanation. I got the model number and surfed the web but that part was “discontinued.” I called numerous repair shops but nobody carried it and there were even some hostile garage companies that dropped the phone saying: “We don’t sell parts! We only replace garage doors!” For ordinary DIYs (Do It Yourself-ers) that would have been enough discouragement. But not stupid ol’ me. No, I am of a different breed of stupidity!

My last hope was Ebay and suddenly, there in this lonely shop 10 miles away from me, was the illusive part! The model number checked out. The picture was identical … and all for $50! That looked like a real bargain! I purchased it and drove to a dinky grage room in a motor home. The Mexican owner was an electrician with his own cluttered trophies of opened TVs and electronics. “No hablo ingles, pero aqui tiene su Circuit board!” I made sure there weren’t any snooping federal agents, dug into my trench coat and handed him the cold cash. The “drug deal” was complete.

Back home, I slid the new circuit board in and voila! When I hit the remote, the light turned on and the motor started turning, I imagined a parade of angels started marching down the garage, a clarion of trumpets played “Oh When the Saints Come Marching in” … but the fanfare stopped when I noticed that the gate was still not moving up. Something else was wrong!

I figured (this time) it was a moving part. Searched Youtube University for other desperate souls that shared their garage nightmare and came to the conclusion that the culprit was a white plastic gear the size of a top that was worn out. Unfortunately, my internet search proved once again that the part was also “discontinued.” Alas, that was the end of the road. Even though I had the energy to continue the repair, the gods of garage parts no longer smiled at me. Reluctantly, I called the one shop that would send over a technician right away.

THE PROFESSIONAL
Ivan came with a red truck carrying all sorts of parts. I sized him up. He did the same. “I’ll charge you $700.” I said “$500.” He said “no.” I said “see ya!” He pondered and said he didn’t come all the way here for nothing. So we shook at $600. Later, I searched for the price of the garage kit and it was less than $300. Doing the math, this guy’s 2 hour labor was going to cost me $350. For a cheapskate like me, that’s a lot but I was desperate to get it done. (Commentary: Why go to college for a non-existent job to eventually get paid $20 an hour to flip burgers and straddle a student loan when you can learn a trade and get paid $150 an hour? Think about that!)

The repair was so simple. You replace everything but the side rollers. You replace the wall control, the two side sensors, the horizontal belt drive, the 2 remote controls and the garage circuit box. I could have done it myself … maybe not as fast but I could have figured it out. It was done in 2 hours.

REAL TIPS:
Next time your garage door malfunctions, learn from my mistakes. Don’t even try finding parts (they make new models ever so often) so they do not stock up on discontinued parts. Just buy the garage door opener kit which costs $250. Fix it yourself or buy the kit and haggle for labor cost. You’ll sleep better, you’ll keep the missus happy and you won’t die a Shakespearean death.

TGIF people!

If you like my emails, please do me a favor and spread them around. Thank you!

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Quotes of the Week

“Measure twice, cut once, swear silently.” — Anonymous

“When in doubt, use more duct tape.” — Anonymous

“No Worries, I watched the safety video.”— Anonymous

“The acknowledgment of our weakness is the first step in repairing our loss.” — Thomas a Kempis

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” — Luke 14:28

“The masons and stonecutters. They purchased timber and blocks of dressed stone for the repair of the temple of the LORD, and met all the other expenses of restoring the temple.” — 2 Kings 12:12

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, California

Parting Shots

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Jacob of Whittier, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this website.

SUBSCRIBE

The post A Gilligan Question appeared first on Traveling Boy.

My Japanese Friend

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes. Today’s article is sublime.

I have a breakfast meeting every Monday morning at a fast food restaurant. It’s supposed to be a business meeting where we exchange referrals but it has evolved to more of an excuse for us to get out of our daily routine and unwind. We’ve known each other for over 15 years. When we solve all the world’s problems we separate to our own lives. Dan was one of us.

Dan was a quiet Japanese-American married to Jan. He and Jan were two peas in a pod — always together for 41 years. Long since retired, they decided to sell purified water, medicinal mushroom patches, and other alternative health supplements. They were walking samples of their ware because both looked very young for their age. They were the sweetest couple you would ever meet. No trace of hostility … always ready to help with beaming generous smiles. They would always share a Japanese treat to go with our coffee. Dan was hard at hearing so he struggled to keep up with our gossip. Jan used to interpret what we were saying until Dan decided to do his Day Trading hobby in another table while Jan mingled with the rest of us.

Dan and I would exchange stock trading tips every time. Thanks to him, I got out of Bitcoin with a good profit before Bitcoin tanked. Dan loved to fish … and I mean deep-sea Tuna fishing. He would go on an overnight boat trip with a group of guys with sophisticated fishing tackles and reel those silver monsters in. A few times, he would share a pound of fresh juicy red tuna strips with me. It was gastronomical heaven for my wife and I. Other times I would get these unexpected phone calls on Wednesdays: “Raoul, are you doing anything for lunch? It’s Taco Wednesday! Tacos only cost a dollar today!” Who could resist an invitation from this thrifty old man?

Dan was in the upstairs bedroom last Wednesday early morning (the same day I was having my colonoscopy) while Jan slept downstairs. He went downstairs to check on something early morning and must have tripped on something on his way back up. Jan woke up at her usual time at 7am and she found Dan mumbling on the floor. The paramedics came and the doctors guessed it was a stroke. Even if they revived him, his senses were already gone. They kept him alive with a machine for his children to say their goodbyes. Sadly, they pulled the plug on Thursday.

What a way to go. What a full life. What a loss for the rest of us. Dan was a believer. He loved the Lord. We prayed the last time we had our Taco lunch just a week before. We prayed for our Monday group. I know he is in a better place. I’m sure you have similar stories about friends and loved ones who died unexpectedly. Life isn’t a bed of roses, huh?

I imagine Dan reading his bucket list in heaven. Did he do all he said he would do? Was that expensive hearing aid worth the little time he enjoyed it? Should he have eaten more of those chocolate bars he avoided? Did he say enough for his family to know how much he loved them? Should he have fixed that squeaky door he promised Jan to fix? Should they have taken that trip to Alaska? Should he have cleaned up the junk collection (a pair for each useless item) instead of leaving them for Jan to clean? He must be glad he prepared that Living Trust and paid for burial expenses.

Last Monday our group listened to Jan as she shared what she was going through. She said they hardly had long conversations … his deafness didn’t help. She talked about the children and the arrangements for the cremation. I’m sure she had a lot more to say but the traffic of a thousand thoughts must have entered the room. Before we dismissed ourselves, we made a pact that none of us would die … at least not before next Monday.

Death brings so much unfinished business to the table. Dan’s passing reminds me of a lot of cleaning, a lot of paperwork and a lot of loving I need to do. What’s in your bucket list? Are you prepared to go?

My wife and I just watched the romantic masterpiece — “Pride and Prejudice.” After the movie I smothered my wife with kisses calling her “Mrs. Pascual … Mrs. Pascual … Mrs. Pascual.” (Watch the last scene of the movie if you don’t get it.)

TGIF people!

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Quotes of the Week

“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers.” — Demetri Martin

“I don’t mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.” — George Axelrod

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” — Woody Allen

“Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.” — Groucho Marx

“I’m not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can’t do it.” — Robert Schimmel

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?” — George Carlin

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow … but phone calls taper off.” — Johnny Carson

“Having your whole life flash before your eyes as you die is basically the ultimate binge-watch.” — Bridger Winegar

“I have a long-standing friendship with death. When it comes, I will ask her to sit down and relax, then I’ll suggest to her champagne. Because, in fact, I’m a coward.” — Salvador Dalí

“I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.” — Bob Monkhouse

“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” — Charles M. Schulz

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.’ Do you believe this?” — John 11:25-26

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” — Philippians 1:21-23

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 8:38-39

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Andre of South America

A paraprosdokian is a rhetorical device featuring an unexpected, often humorous twist at the end of a sentence, forcing the listener to re-evaluate the beginning.

This isn’t really new but I thought it was still funny.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
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The Joys of Colonoscopy

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

Hoo Hah! I just had my insides probed by a staff of three. It was supposed to start at 3:30pm but it actually began 2 hours later. As soon as I get back in shape I’m going to chasten the scheduler in the gastroenterology department. I didn’t want to say anything before the procedure otherwise I would have been at the mercy of those guys. That’s one of the things I realized as I waited in that lonely cubicle: I felt so helpless. There I was lying in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out and prepped up for the operation, naked underneath the flimsy hospital gown. My biggest concern: what to do if there was a 9.5 earthquake or a fire alarm sounded or Godzilla were to attack — I would have to had run out butt naked and then interviewed by a CNN reporter.

I wondered how different things would have been if I were someone important like Elon Musk. I bet he’d go through the whole waiting and probing procedure in half an hour. But even he probably would have had to drink all that nauseating concoction to clear his intestines like us ordinary humans. (Unless of course, he’s really an alien from another planet.) Isn’t it reassuring that rich boys also grow old so one day they will also face the operating table? Think of all the aging celebrities — plastic surgery can fake the appearance but their clocks still tick to their appointment with agonizing, excruciatingly painful death — just like the rest of us.

This hospital does about 64 colonoscopies a day. Yesterday, when I had mine, they had been doing over 70 for several days. Ka-ching! No wonder the facilities can afford to look so clean. No wonder there were so many personnel bustling about. That place was a beehive of activities. It was like I was in the middle of the soap opera General Hospital TV show – there was the pretty receptionist doing nothing but answer phone calls, the unkempt guy with the ruffled haircut pushing carts here and there, the respected all-knowing surgeon with the gray hair and glasses, the sweet caring nurse, the serious nurse who carried the weight of the world on her shoulder, and there were the guest stars — patients like me.

“When was the last time you ate solid food? Why? Didn’t you read the instructions?” said Nurse Serious.

“I’m so sorry for the wait,” said Nurse Compassionate. “There is one patient ahead of you … well, actually two … but don’t you worry, we’ll get to you eventually … I hope. Think positive! Would you like an extra blanket?”

“Hi I’m Doctor Colonoscopy. No, I can’t shake your germ infested hand. See the gray hair? See the tired eyes? You’re my 70th patient today. Relax! I’ve had 20 cups of coffee so I’m good … just goooood! A little shaky but none of my patients have died … yet! We’ll wheel you in now – Nya ha ha!”

“Hello Mr. Raoul, welcome to the operating room. Please lie on your left side. Smile for the camera! No need to be shy, I’m the guy from Beta Phi … I’m certified or hope to die! I’m the practicing doctor and we’re gonna have a fun time tonight! Nurse, crank up that funky music! Yeah baby! Get down tonight! Get down … get down .. get down … get down tonight!”

“Hello, I’m your nurse for today. And I’m just going to start the anesthesia and …”

The next thing I know, my wife is with me and the nurses are pushing us out of the hospital because I’m the last patient and they are anxious to go home.

When I get home, the world is still spinning around and I crash to bed. I sleep soundly for 5 hours … best sleep I ever had! I can’t wait to do this again! Not!

SERIOUS COLONOSCOPY TIPS
I was given written instructions but (men aren’t good with instructions so) I had to call to make sure I was doing things right. If you are planning to have a colonoscopy soon, and you’re as confused as I was with the instructions to prepare for the procedure, here’s my unprofessional medical advice.

You will be given a list of medications to buy. But the only one you really need is the Miralax (or Purelax or any of the other laxative brands). The goal is to ingest something to make you empty your stomach. Anything else beyond that is just to make it easier on you. Before I had a whole gallon of this absolutely yucky “coconut juice” I needed to drink — made me throw up and poop. This new procedure is better tasting. I didn’t throw up.

In the morning before my colonoscopy scheduled for 3:30pm, I didn’t eat anything solid the whole day. In a pitcher, I mixed eight laxative powder caps (using the bottle cap as a measure) with 2 half bottles of Gatoraid (preferably with zero sugar and not the flavor with a red dye). I had to consume the pitcher within an hour. I drank 3 whole pitchers in 3 timed intervals. (For me it was from 4pm, then 7pm and then 10 am the next morning which was the day of the colonoscopy). There’s a recommendation for Laxative pills (to soften the stool) and Gas-x (to relieve gas pain) but I don’t think they were necessary. The Purelax was good enough to flush everything out.

On the day of the operation, wear comfortable clothing, bring your Driver’s License and insurance card. Leave your wallet, rings and jewelry. You can bring your cell phone. You cannot come alone using Uber. You need a responsible adult to bring you there and take you home — warn that person to wait 3 to 4 hours. The actual probe only lasts 20 to 30 minutes but the hospital may overbook (like they did in my case). When they say you have to be there at 9:10. Be there by 9:10 — the prep time and wait time are already taken into account (in other words, no need to be there too early).

I hope you find this helpful. TGIF people!

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Quotes of the Week

“Laughter is the best medicine – unless you’re diabetic, then chocolate, insulin, crying, comes pretty high on the list.” — Jasper Carrott

“My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they’re in August.” — Ronnie Shakes

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.” — Rita Rudner

“Nineteen percent of doctors say that they’d be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.” — Jay Leno

“After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said: ‘No hablo ingles.'” — Ronnie Shakes

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.” — Psalm 117:17

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” — John 10:10

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this website.

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The post Major Accident appeared first on Traveling Boy.

Gene Pool

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

Easter Sunday with the whole family was so much fun. All of my kids and grand kids were playing at the park — from my oldest kid to the youngest grand kid, they were running around like little children. This was just as I imagined and hoped to see when I reached this age. God is good.

And talk about genetics! I could see different strains of personality traits in each one. Do you also see that in your own family? Among my siblings, there are those who look more like my Dad’s family (slanted eyes, prominent chins, straight hair) and others who look more like my Mom’s family (almond eyes, rounder/softer features, wavy hair). My Dad could move facial muscles, move his ear, and tip his head horizontally from left to right like a Hindu dancer. I can’t jiggle my head like that. I tried but I just can’t. However, I do have a bit of a rubber face just like Jim Carrey … but my daughter can do all of that. I got the tall genes. Only one of my daughters got it. I got my Mom’s musical talents and creativity so does my youngest daughter. I see this love for music in 3 of my grand kids. My son got the analytic vibes of my wife and father. I also see my athleticism and energy in all my boys. Neither my Mom nor Dad, nor any of my other older relatives have dark brown skin … I do. Only my youngest has dark skin.

Did you know that Adam lived to be 930 years old? (There is no record of Eve’s age. I guess even then, you never ask a woman’s age.) In fact, Noah was born when Adam was still alive (at least that’s what some say). Imagine what must have gone through Adam’s mind observing the variety of personality traits running around his yard. Sadly, he bred rotten kids that forced God to wash them away and start from scratch with 8 people on the ark. Pretty wild, huh?

I can see this scenario:

Adam: Look at all our kids, Eve. Hard to believe all these wild kids came from us. When God told us to procreate, we sure did, didn’t we?

Eve: The wild ones come from YOUR line of the family! I heard Nimrod played with fire again … almost burned down the tool shed Seth built. I’m tellin’ ya, you better start disciplining those kids or we’ll have another Cain in the making.

Adam: I tried to teach them, but they wouldn’t listen. Kids ain’t got no respect! The minute they turn 100 years old, they think they know everything! I’ve long given up! Well, at least we’ve got Noah … always building something creative.

Eve: Yeah, but did you hear? He’s building a boat!

Adam: A boat? What’s a boat?

Eve: Something that floats!

Adam: Well, isn’t that amazing? (laughing) A boat that floats! I knew that kid would invent something useful one day.

Eve: “Useful?” … he’s building it in the middle to the desert!

KIDS
We hope and pray the best for our children but with the challenges of life we never know how our kids will turn out. Of course, teach them while they’re still impressionable but realize there’s no guarantee they will always make the right decisions. Adam’s “sin nature” passed on to all of us. I believe there are good and bad genetic strains in all of us.

TWO WOLVES
You’ve heard the old Cherokee story: A father tells his son that we all have 2 wolves growing inside us — a good wolf and a bad wolf who are constantly battling for dominance. Which wolf wins will depend on who we feed the most. Needless to say, we should strive to be the good wolf. Why? The good wolves become dogs. Dogs become man’s best friend. They’ve get a roof on their head and play all day and they get spoiled rotten. The bad wolves? They’re still out there hunting their own food.

Three things I know: When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade. When life gives us a box of chocolates, we never know what we are going to get. But when life gives us chocolate lemons, we will have indigestion!

So be a good wolf and stay away from chocolate lemons!

This is just silly ol’ me. TGIF people!

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Quotes of the Week

“When you keep criticizing your kids, they don’t stop loving you. They stop loving themselves.”
– Unknown.

“There are two gifts we should give our children: one is roots and the other is wings.”
– Unknown.

“Behind every young child who believes in themselves is a parent who believed first.”
– Matthew Jacobson

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck

“Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?” -Alyson Hannigan

“If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands?” -Milton Berle

“Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” -David Frost

“One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed but that will not be today, not in this grocery store.” – unknown

“Silence is golden…unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious.” – unknown

“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” – Michelle Pfeiffer

“Based on the amount of laundry, I’m going to assume there are people living here that I’ve never seen.” – unknown

“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” — Proverbs 29:17 (ESV)

“What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” — Luke 11:11-13

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” — Ephesians 6:4

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” — Exodus 20:12

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Jonathan of S Pasadena, California.

Parting Shots

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Jennifer of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this post.

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Thoughts for Palm Sunday

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

This Sunday is Palm Sunday and next Friday I will be quiet. No jokes next Friday because it is Good Friday (the day when Jesus was crucified on the cross) and it’s been our tradition (here in my emails) not to bring humor on such a sacred day. I hope you understand. And I hope you don’t mind that this edition will be more spiritual in context. If it bothers you, please move on to the jokes.

I’ve been doing research on the Ethiopian Bible and it’s fascinating. In a nutshell, the Ethiopian Bible has the same books as our regular Bible except that it has a few more books (about 15 more) that were tossed aside by the Bishops (during the Council of Nicea during the 3rd century). They doubted these other books were God-inspired and were not worthy to be among the collected scriptural books.

(Note: A reader corrected me on my information. See comments below.)

DANIEL

For example, the book of Daniel had an interesting additional Chapter 13 which was about Susanna, a beautiful woman who was lusted by two elders (ie. supposedly righteous men) who hid in the bushes as she bathed. They pounced on her and threatened to spread a scandal if they did not get their way. She chose the scandal instead of giving in. She prayed to God that justice would be served. The accusation spread as expected and the people were about to stone her to death but Daniel, a godly wise man, intervened and requested to interrogate the 2 elders. He separated the two and asked each of them under which tree they saw her having an affair. They gave different answers and that proved they were the ones guilty of fabricating a lie. And the elders were executed.

Cool story, huh? I wonder why they didn’t include that in the Bible.

There was another book about Adam and Eve that explained what they did after their fall from grace — how they wanted to get back to Paradise and how Satan tried to deceive them time and time again. The story reminded me of Greek mythology and, intriguing as the stories were, I think these were more fable than authentic.

DISCERMENT DILEMMA

Since time immemorial, we have been flooded with truth and fiction. It is understandable why people find it hard to believe the claims of scripture. Even now we have fake news. Yet truth has always existed between the chatter. Sometimes it’s just harder to find.

On the first Palm Sunday when Jesus rode a donkey inside Jerusalem, He fulfilled a series of unmistakable prophecies. Religious scholars either missed all the signs or denied they were taking place. Today we have an array of irrefutable archeological evidence that Jesus was/is the Messiah.

I asked Grok (the AI of X) about Jesus and it admitted that Jesus definitely existed:

“Jesus was real. His core ethical teachings contain profound, practical wisdom that has improved human life on balance – they reward curiosity about goodness, self-examination, and love over power. They align with a humanist impulse: treating people as ends, not means, and seeking truth beyond raw survival or greed.

Whether the full Christian story (divinity, atonement, eternal life) is literally true is a question of personal faith, evidence evaluation, and worldview. Billions find deep meaning and transformation in it. Others see it as beautiful myth carrying moral truth. I respect both. I’m here to explore the universe with honesty – historical, scientific, and philosophical – without dogma.

If the teachings resonate with you, they’re worth living by, whether you see Jesus as fully divine, a great moral teacher, or something in between.”

Good diplomatic answer, huh?

PERSONAL STORY

When I was searching for God/truth decades ago, a young pastor volunteered to spend time with me at his humble home every Monday at six o’clock. No question was off limits. I had so many questions — among them were: the existence of UFOs, yetis, evolution, déjà vu, the silliness of tithing, ghosts, stonehenge, etc. After months of me hammering and hoping to find a crack in his faith, I overheard his wife calling out to him to come to dinner (she didn’t know I was in the patio with her husband). I suddenly realized this patient little man had been skipping dinner with his family every Monday just to listen to my silly banter. I felt so small. I realized I wasn’t there to learn. I was there to ridicule his faith. Even though he was willing to continue our sessions, I told him that I wasn’t coming back to bother him. He left the door open.

Even though the logic made sense, I was a stubborn mule who didn’t want to accept anything to change my lifestyle. I continued to investigate this Christian counter-culture and, a few months later, I became a born-again Christian. In retrospect, it wasn’t the facts presented, but the changed lives I saw, that made me take the leap of faith. It’s been over 40 years and I have never regretted that leap. They say no one comes to faith except through the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. If you really want to know, pray about it. May you be blessed beyond your wildest dream. Thank you for reading this far. If you have questions, let’s talk. I’ll skip my dinner for you.

Of course, this is just me. TGIF people!

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Quotes of the Week

“Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.” — Terry McAuliffe

“The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.” — Woody Allen

“The great advantage about telling the truth is that nobody ever believes it.” — Dorothy L. Sayers

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” — Winston Churchill

“Half a truth is often a great lie.” — Benjamin Franklin

“The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“Sometimes the point isn’t to make people believe a lie – it’s to make people fear the liar.” — Anne Applebaum

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.” — Proverbs 19:5

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” — John 14:6

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” — Revelations 21:8

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Norm of Encino, California.

Parting Shots

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Jennifer of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

I found these:

Thank you Chuck for creating an icon that sprouted so many laughable memes. R.I.P.

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
Know someone who enjoys a laugh? Share this email.

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CPAP-A-LuLa She’s My Baby

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

Do you sleep well? I don’t. How I envy you. There are days (or nights) that are better than others but it’s always a struggle especially now that I’ve grown older. My subconscious/hyperactive brain solves multiple puzzles all the time. It doesn’t know that it’s supposed to quit for bedtime. If you’re like me, hopefully, what I share will help you with your sleep problem.

When I joined a Men’s retreat months ago, I was so conscious about waking up my roommates with my snoring that I didn’t get to sleep well. I wished I had a CPAP machine. I used to have one ten years ago but the mask was cumbersome and I didn’t get the rest I needed. So, I ditched it

I heard the technology had improved so I got myself a new Resmed CPAP machine. The machine is quieter. The mask is softer and fits better. (There was a little instruction booklet. Did I read it? Of course not! Men don’t read instructions!) Without hesitation, I wrapped the gear around my head. I felt like an astronaut blasting off into space:

“Houston I just locked my mask on. Am I clear for take-off?”

“Roger that, captain. All systems go! 3 – 2 – 1, blast off!
See you on the other side, sir!”

I closed my eyes, air rushed in the tube and into my nostrils. I dreamed I was hibernating in space. I was hopeful that I would reach Dreamland. But only two hours later, I was wide awake again. I tossed and turned and soon it was morning. The beam of sunlight snuck inside my bedroom. I heard the cars headed for work. My dogs barked at the people passing by. I flipped through the news on my phone — the earth was still rotating around the sun and the terrorists had not blown up the world yet. It was going to be a good day. And here I was in bed … still tired. I wondered if the machine was defective. That was when I read the instructions. But that didn’t help.

I called an expert — my good old friend, Bernardo, who had been using a CPAP machine for years. He convinced me that what I had was top of the line. Maybe I just needed to get used to this contraption. I decided to give it another try. The following evenings, I went through the same routine. The next morning (and the mornings after) I woke up still not rested. I was frustrated.

I was reading the gospel of Mark where Jesus healed lots of people. He healed a blind man, restored the dead to life, etc. (Say, if you aren’t convinced that Jesus is the Son of God, read the action-packed book of Mark.) I noticed Jesus never healed a man with sleep apnea. Maybe this is an incurable disease … maybe they didn’t have CPAP machines in the first century.

CONCLUSION

Would I recommend a CPAP machine? So far, not yet. I still wake up in the middle of the night. I think my real problem is insomnia and not apnea.

I haven’t given up. I’m doing more research. I’ve cut down on my screen time. Trying to read more. I’ll start taking melatonin. I watched a video about the sleeping techniques used by soldiers at war. If you have any suggestions, please share.

My sleeping may not have improved but at least I don’t snore anymore. And that’s still a good thing.

TGIF people! I’m going back to sleep … at least I’ll try.

If you like my emails, please do me a favor and spread them around. Thank you!

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Quotes of the Week

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” — Walt Kelly, from his Pogo comic strip

“Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock, and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” – Charles M. Schulz

“I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days but whatever.” – Unknown

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” – Anthony Burgess

“I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.” – Unknown

“Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it’s because you’re awake in someone’s dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.” – Unknown

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, California.

Parting Shots

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Donna of Whittier, CA

Thanks to Jennifer of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Tony of Hacienda Heights, CA

Thanks to Richard of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

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