Bubble Eyes

My high school just had a reunion but I wasn’t able to attend. Thankfully, my classmates shared pictures. I recognized but a handful of people. The rest were senior strangers. I looked at the ugly guy in the mirror and I surprised even myself. My classmates wouldn’t have recognized me if I bumped into them. Before it was just my baldness but now I’m noticing the age spots, the wrinkles, and especially the puffiness around my eyes.

I’ve tried twice to get the doctors to surgically remove those extra pounds of flesh but each time they said it was not covered by my insurance. They told me I could do the hot and cold compress trick to melt the fat away … tried it but it didn’t work. I’m turning into a human puffer fish. (Say, maybe I can get a job at the circus.)

I’m beginning to notice some of the biggest Hollywood dreamboats like Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Brad Pit, Alec Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Rocky Stallone, Arnold … these guys are OLD! No matter how hard they try, you can tell they’re past their prime. So I guess i’m in good company. We guys have reached the mountaintop and we’re on our way downhill.

I texted my wife today while she was at work: “Can I take you out for dinner this Saturday?”

“Sure,” she responded with a smiley face with hearts.

When your favorite gal is still willing to be seen in public with ol’ bubble eyes, I guess that’s all that matters, right?

And when your kids and grand kids smile when they see you and enjoy your warm hug, you know going downhill is going to be an easy transition. Ain’t it the truth?

TGIF people!

Raoul

“That’s another great thing about getting older —
your life is written on your face.”
— Frances McDormand

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Mike of New York

Thanks to Bob of Placentia, CA

Thanks to Gloria of Detroit, MI

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with this.

SUBSCRIBE

The post Just Twain Ugly appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Covid Survivor

It was the second sleepless night for my sister. What started as a mild fever had escalated to a classic case of Covid 19. Her doctor was no help. He was textbook-trained but he had no first-hand experience with the disease. Sis couldn’t sleep in a normal postion because of the constriction in her lungs. She was told to lay on her stomach but that didn’t work. Standing up was not a solution either. How can you sleep while standing up? Heading for a third night of difficulty she got a phone call from my daughter (a nurse who works in the red zone). My daughter told her about flowler’s position — sleeping at an angle. (SEE DIAGRAM). That’s what saved the day…. (I mean) the night. Later on, my daughter gave her more tips that led to her full recovery. I’m so glad for my sister’s health and so proud of my daughter. You can read my sister’s full testimony as well as her husband’s at TravelingBoy.com. Pass this on. This may save someone’s life.

I’d like to salute our frontliners in this pandemic. I can only speak about my daughter but I’m sure this is the routine of every frontliner. She’s on her feet all day wearing her full plastic armor of face mask, plastic shield, cap and gloves. She trained herself not to scratch her nose or wipe her eyes. There are 60 doctors and nurses where she works. Despite their precaution, only my daughter and 2 other nurses have not yet had Covid. (I guess masks are good but it is the vaccines that are the game changers). She goes home after a full shift but she does not enter the house yet. She has to change in the garage, wrap her scrubs in a bag, go inside to take a bath. Only then, can she hug her kids and her husband.

You are blessed if you live here in America. The vaccines have reached millions already. Infection rates have dipped. My heart goes out to many more countries that still wait for the vaccines to arrive on their shores. Americans get the dosage free. In other countries people have to purchase it (if they are available at all). At least there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Let’s continue to pray for this generation.

TGIF people!

Raoul

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
 his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
 great is your faithfulness.  — Lamentation 3:22-23

BTW, if you need an oximeter, please let me know. A subscriber of my TGIF emails bought one and was given a spare. He is selling the other one cheap.

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA for sharing this pun.

Video: Aging Wife

Thanks to Lee of Alhambra, CA and Craig of Texas

Video: Dolly Parton’s Assault

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Erratum: According to Snopes, last week’s video of a VW Korea Flying car was fake. Sorry about that. Thanks to Rey of Simi Valley, CA for pointing it out to me.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Tony of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Thanks to Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

The post Amazing Puns appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I fell off a ladder last Saturday.

Yup! I volunteered to help with the Easter service stage and, being relatively tall, I said I would help attach the higher pieces to the unreachable spots. A voice inside me warned me not to climb the ladder. But I didn’t listen. When the  wobbling started, an old voice said “get down you old fool!” but another younger voice said “it’s just one more step … you can make it.” Before I knew it, the ladder lost its footing and everything went slow motion. The ledge I was trying to step up to went further away. I realized it was I who was moving further away. There was nothing to hold onto. I remember thinking “this could be it. I could die now. If not, Lord, at least don’t let me hurt too badly.” It was relatively soft on the carpeted wooden panel but it was the sudden landing that sent a jabbing pain that ran up my already fragile back. I had the presence of mind from my Judo class in college to tuck my chin in but I still bumped my head on the cement wall. The A-frame ladder closed and crushed my fingers. It’s been almost a week and some parts of me still hurts. I’m sure I’ll be back to normal by next week.

Denial. That’s a pretty dangerous but common mental exercise boomers have when they face their twilight years. If you’re one of them, take my advice — live with it! Own it!

I hope I’m not too blunt but allow me to point out some famous people. Rather than accept inevitable gravity, it’s amazing how many desperate celebrities spend their millions on horrific plastic surgeries. Goldie Hawn, Nicole Kidman, Michael Jackson, Kenny Rogers, Cameron Diaz, Meg Ryan, Mickey Rourke, Demi Moore — c’mon guys, what were you thinking? Was all the pain and money really worth it? Are you happy to see the stranger in the mirror?

Hair rejuvenation. The hair growth supplements do not affect a majority of bald people. The hair transplants probably do work for a time but when you see several follicles coming out of one spot like rice fields, it’s rather comical.  Think about it. When Donald Trump, Bruce Willis, Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Jason Statham, Ben Afleck, Kevin Spacey, Jude Law, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, etc. could not “buy” their hair back, do you think that you could?

Fortunately, there are people I admire who learned to age gracefully. I think of Anthony Hopkins, Pope Francis, Billy Graham, Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Audrey Hepburn, George Clooney (so far) … at least these guys only look better with age.

Falling down the ladder opened my eyes to the imaginary border separating Never Never Land and Survivor Island. And you know what? It’s not that bad over here. Mother Teresa, Col. Sanders, Mandela — are just a few of the many late-blooming senior heroes. Sure, one day I’ll be bed-ridden and my teeth are all gonna fall off but till that day, I’m gonna create, teach, give and love as much as I possibly can. You should too.

But this is just me.

“You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get old.”
— George Burns

TGIF people!

All About Age

Shared by Naomi of North Hollywood

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying “I went to the Jim this morning.”

Old age always seems to come at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is.. “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

I don’t have gray hair …  I have “wisdom highlights!”  I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself … sometimes I need expert advice

At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually, I’m not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.

Life is great! I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering — did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

TGIF Videos

A Millennial in the Operating Room
Sent by Mel of Washington, D.C.

I can see this happening.

Watch Video

Senior at Target Practice
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Seniors do it differently.

Watch Video

Parting Shot

Thanks to Dom of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this photo

The post All About Age appeared first on Traveling Archive.

It’s almost eight years since my amazing husband Sig passed away. I will love him for the rest of my life.  He doesn’t even have to be here for me to continue to feel this way.  Thankfully, I am coasting on all our shared memories we made over decades.  He was my best friend, and I am fortunate enough to have had many other friends over my lifetime.  But the saddest thing about the aging process is that slowly, but surely, we begin to lose the people we love and admire.  They move away, change jobs and die.

I still communicate with grammar and high school friends and the many friends I’ve met throughout my life. At 76, I know how to recognize someone that I might like to invite into my life.  I have given teas and lunches for my lady friends for over forty years.  Those teas became the place where I and friends came to re-charge our batteries.  We talked about everything from soup to nuts but never men.  We laughed and cried together and taught each other how to navigate the rough patches.

When we get married, we exchange vows and say, “Till death do us part”.  Of course when this as written, people only lived into what we call middle age.  The longer we are together, the more we understand who we are, who are spouses are and if we’re still on the same page!  After 25 years together, that’s when the love part really has to kick in.  There are no illusions about one another and if you’re lucky you still remember what made you pick your mate.

If you go back five years and remember what seemed important, and go back another five years and so forth, you will  come to understand that the things you felt so strongly about have diminished and no longer are part of your belief system.  It’s really a good thing if you feel good in your own skin, and know how to share your space and have no expectations of the people you love and admire.  I have the right to ask, and you have the right to say no and I take this right for myself.  That’s my personal can’t miss system for the friendships I have.  It took me a while to understand that being able to say no to anyone was a necessity.

The last luncheon I gave was for a dear friend who is moving to Texas.  I used to have 12 to 14 people come for teas.  The last one was attended by four people including me!  So many of my friends have passed away or moved away, and some suffer from Alzheimer’s and conversations just don’t happen.  And, I don’t know which is worse of those three things.

Personally, I’m going for quality of life, not quantity.  I want to be around as long as I can get around and make it to the john!

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