Bible Lesson

Warning: Religious topic. Move on to the joke section if you’re not interested.

Have you noticed there’s a strange breed of people among us who carry these strange books? It’s easy to spot them especially on Sundays … especially in protestant churches. Yup! You guessed it. They’re carrying Bibles!

Eavesdrop on their conversations, and they spit out words like “salvation, intercession, rapture, gospel, grace, sin, forgiveness, atonement and amen.” A prominent name they keep on mentioning is “Jesus.” And they don’t use it to swear like most people in the street but they say it with reverence and awe. It’s definitely a counter culture … these Bible-Thumping Christians live in a parallel universe. In fact, they believe they live IN the world but not OF the world.

Some people have asked me to explain this book called the Bible so please indulge me. The Bible is the most printed and read book in the history of the world. It is a big book composed of 66 smaller books written by several authors in several different languages (some are not spoken anymore) and penned in different eras but mostly within the geographic location of the Middle East; and central to all of the action is Jerusalem. It has survived the centuries … some books dating back to the time of Moses some 4,000 years ago.

Varied as the themes are, the one topic that unifies all 66 books is the almighty Creator. Moses compiled the first 5 books and they were inked in papyrus and/or sheep skin. Christians believe It was penned by men but inspired by God. Think about it, the almighty, all-knowing God of the universe spent time to write a low-tech book. It was that important to God to communicate with us lowly humans. And it was His promise that this book (whether it be in papyrus, books, or digital forms) will never cease to exist — “Heaven and earth may pass away but my Word will never pass away.”

Prior to the written language, stories were verbally handed down from generation to generation. I don’t mean to sound too technical and bore you to death. This is the paradox of the Bible — it can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. And there are several levels of understanding. But I urge you not to be content in understanding the Bible in the superficial sense but dig deep and low for there is where all the wonder really begins … there is where things begin to make sense. And don’t be frustrated if you keep on digging only to find there is more. It’s not in the conclusion (which we will never reach it in our lifetime) but in the process and in the journey that the fun really begins.

I believe the naysayers against the Bible who claim they have read it, are those who gave up too soon. Often, these contrarians base their findings on hypocritical so-called believers. Can’t blame completely for being led astray. Preconceptions prevent true understanding.

“They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.” — Ephesians 4:18

There is beauty in the whole structure of the Bible. There are 2 parts of the Bible – the OLD Testament (OT) and the NEW Testament (NT). In the book of Genesis (aka Origins) God made a promise to Adam and Eve that He was going to send a Messiah to save the world. The OLD looks forward to the coming Messiah while the NEW talks about the activities of the Messiah among humans.

If you’ve never read the Bible before, I suggest you start with the book by Mark because it is action-packed.

If you want to dive in more, CLICK HERE. This is a link to the Bible Project. There you will find quick videos that cover a whole range of topics. Take your pick and I pray you will be blessed.

TGIF people!

Raoul

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Thomas of La Habra, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Dan of Quezon City, Philippines

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

I found these

The Traveling Boy

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

The post Deer Hunting appeared first on Traveling Archive.

A Bald Move

I finally did it!

My hair is gone. My Favio days are over. No longer will I be able to flick my hair in the wind. The last strands of my salt and pepper locks washed down the sink. When I look in the mirror, there’s a stranger that greets me.

Unfortunately, going bald was a procedure that didn’t go very smoothly. I thought I had a good understanding about what was involved but no. It was a comedy of errors. In case you are thinking about balding your head too, let me share what happened. Learn from my mistakes.

I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to maintain his baldness with that gadget. So I went online and bought the cheapest rotary electric shaver. I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. I didn’t know you’re only supposed to use that shaver to maintain an existing bald head. So when I tried it on my overgrown buzz cut the shaver got stuck and literally tried to yank the individual follicles. I was thinking of retreating and doing more research but when I saw the unbalanced hairless patch on my front lobe, I knew I had reached the point of no return.

I figured I needed to trim the hair as close to the scalp as possible to avoid the snags. But even that didn’t work. I’m not a shaver. I never had a lot of facial hair so I usually shave with just water. I remember seeing a movie where the barber puts this white foamy stuff before he shaved his customer. Aha! That’s the secret — shaving cream! Somebody had given me a shaving cream for Christmas some 10 years ago. The can was rusty but the content was still good. I was surprised it still worked. I massaged that cream into a lather and put it on my scalp. I waited a few minutes to soften my skin then proceeded to shave with a cheap plastic disposable shaver. It was like raking leaves with a toothbrush. It was a tedious process because I needed to wash down the clumps of hair that got stuck in the shaver. But eventually, I shaved off half of my head — the half that I could see. The hair on my nape and at the back were impossible to reach.

So I asked my daughter for help because she’s had experience cutting her friends’ hair. “You’re doing it all wrong! You’re supposed to use a shearer,” she said. “I thought that was only for sheep,” I laughed. She didn’t think it was funny.

“With a shearer this could be done so easily,” she said with authority.

“But we don’t have a shearer,” I said, “so let’s just do with what we have.”

“Like most projects, you need the right tools. This is so wrong! You can get a shearer at Walmart for $15,” she nagged, “I don’t want to do this. I’m afraid I will cut you. Why don’t you just buy a shearer?”

“Why will I buy a $15 shearer when I will never use it again?”

“You’re so cheap, Papa! If you want, I can borrow my friend’s shearer. I really don’t want to do this,” she repeated.

Nag, nag, nag. I realize I’m arguing with her with my head looking like a messy, sticky white blob-dripping modern mixed-medium sculpture. Her heart wasn’t in it so I told her to stop and washed up. Mission failed. Half of my back was still unshaven. I never felt so ridiculously ugly. As I lay in bed in defeat, I pictured myself in Walmart … people staring, laughing behind my back wondering where this Klingon from Star Trek came from — giving them a Vulcan hand gesture I say “I come in peace! Lead me to your shearers!”

In the middle of my self-pity, my wife comes in the bedroom and laughs at my head. She has never cut anyone’s hair in her life so I didn’t even bother to ask her. But desperate times call for desperate measures — I asked if she could finish the job. Surprisingly, she said she’d do it. My wife! My savior! My friend!

It was back in the sink and back to the lather and disposable shaving blade. It wasn’t even a minute when she realized what she had gotten into. It was nag, nag, nag again!

“Why don’t you just go to the barber tomorrow? Why don’t you get that shearer, etc.” It’s unmistakable that she is my daughter’s mother — a nonstop recording of how this was a bad idea. I decided to shut my mouth and laughed at this silly predicament I got myself into. It didn’t take more than 30 minutes but with the yakking, it seemed like hours. It was done. I was completely bald. Thank you! (So that’s what wives are for.)

WHAT IT”S LIKE BEING BALD

A quick shower and I rubbed my head. What a weird feeling. I thought it was going to be smooth like a baby’s bottom but it actually feels like sandpaper because of the little stubs of hair clinging on for dear life. And there are mounds and craters in my scalp that I never knew existed because they were always covered with hair. And it’s cold when I lay my head on the cold leather sofa. I now understand why baldies wear beanie caps. When I bump my head I feel the full force of the impact. I’m afraid I might crack my skull.

It’s obvious where I cut myself shaving. You can’t call it a bad hair day so what do you call it? The worst part is the pigment areas where I shaved are so much lighter than the rest of my head. I think I should go get a tan somewhere.

I don’t know about you, but getting a haircut is a pampering ritual that never appealed to me. The advantage with this new look, is I will never never never have to go to a barber for the rest of my life. Was it worth it? Oh yeah … I think so.

TGIF people!

Raoul

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Frank of Alhambra, CA

Videos of the Week

Thanks to Garie of the City of Paranaque, Philippines for this thought-provoking essay from Carl Sagan called “The Pale Blue Dot.”

Another one from Garie. This time a funny story about a Polish Man.

Thanks to Wynn of Mandaluyong, Philippines, for this quick quiz. I didn’t know the answer to 3 of them.

Parting Shots

These I found:

The post A Special Pig appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

So I’m thinking of shaving my head.

I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror the other night and I saw this patch of skin at the back of my scalp glistening in the reflection. I knew my hair was thinning but I didn’t know I was losing that much hair. It was pathetic … reminded me of the Amazon Jungle suffering from years of deforestation.

Suddenly, I’m looking at hair-growing products, wigs, hair extensions, caps, vitamins, hair coloring, etc.. people actually believe those ads! Suckers! This hair business is a multi-billion dollar industry feeding on the vanity of people. “Dude,” I said to myself, “face the fact that you’re getting old. If a billionaire like Donald Trump cannot regrow his hair, what are your chances?”

Later, I’m looking at our living room and I see a clump of dog hair rolling down the wooden floor like hay balls in the desert. Talk about adding insult to injury. Our two corgis stare at me … snickering like they know I’m breaking the 11th Commandment — “Though shalt not covet thy dog’s hair.” I’m thinking that maybe I can invent a way to stick those dog hair to the human skull. The inspiration quickly dies when I envision Larry of the 3 Stooges with his wistful side hair.

I look up and ask God why He invented hair in the first place. I remember an anthropology article saying that hair was made to protect the skull — to soften the blows on the head while chasing dinosaurs. Hogwash! If that were true, please explain why some Westerners look like hairy gorillas and most Asians are hairless like the cats of nefarious criminals. Don’t tell me Westerners had more blows on their head. No, I think hair was created to gauge how many years are left in this old body. There comes a point in life when you’re bald and ugly, when you’re as old as me, when you have to accept that you are no longer the tall, dark, handsome, drop-dead gorgeous Adonis. Move over virile Tarzan. Hello pitiful Professor Xavier.

I decide to look at the bright side. I won’t have to spend for hair products anymore. I won’t have to comb my hair after I shower. When the wind blows, my hair won’t get messed up anymore. I wonder: do bald men have dandruff? Do they still go to a barber or do they just shave themselves? Will I need to start buying shoe polish?

How’s YOUR hair? Are you aging gracefully or are you searching for that wonder drug for the follicle challenged? Give up the fight, Dude. Come to the dark side … I mean the bright, shiny side! Accept the truth that you were never really beautiful to begin with. No one will notice the transition. Once you were ugly with lots of hair. Now you’ll be ugly without hair. Either way, you’ll still be ugly. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Now that my hair is going, I’m beginning to notice my friends’ hair. Most have thin hair. Many have white hair. Many dye their hair. Others tie their hair into a bun to make sure the remaining strands hide their bald spots. The smart ones shaved — which is where I’m going. Mr. Clean, here I come!

TGIF people!

Raoul

“I knew I was getting bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.”
— Harry Hill

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA for this joke.

Video of the Week

Thanks to Jacqueline of Pasadena, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

I found these series of baby jokes to remind me of the days when I started growing hair.

The post Frat House Visit appeared first on Traveling Archive.