A Divided Country

WARNING: Very political topic.Move on to the jokes if you’re not into this.

If you keep up with the news, I betcha you’re just as frustrated as I am. You think you know the truth. The evidence is as clear as day and yet you see people in the “other side” spewing nonsense with authority. You look for people on “your side” to exchange the latest gossip and avoid speaking about politics with the “other side” because it takes too much drama. So each of us sits on our “safe side” and drift further and further apart.

Which is more important — party loyalty or loyalty to country? It’s not the same thing. The winds of political ideology shift with the current party leadership and it takes an objective eye to see the truth. Fight for our country NOT for the party! If we all do that the chasm between us will narrow.

This is how I see America today. The democrats are in panic mode. Despite what people have been saying for years about Biden’s dementia, they are shocked that it’s true. Doesn’t that tell you how far removed they’ve been from reality? Doesn’t that tell you that the news media has been feeding them lies? Even among the stalwarts of media, many of the talking heads are fumbling whether they should continue the narrative. They’re like chickens without a head. Many prominent Democrats are asking Joe to step down but Jill and Hunter Biden are blocking the stampede. And even if Joe steps down, who will carry the Liberal flag? Will there be enough time to create a new narrative for their new hero to appeal to the swing voters? The decision needs to be done soon because the DNC (Democratic National Convention) comes (I think) at the end of the month. What a mess!

On the Republican side they’ve got huge rallies with die-hard Trumpers. Yet their enthusiasm is dampened by their fear of election fraud. All that anticipation is centered around a single individual with major character flaws. The status quo is at stake. Is he capable of uniting the country?

Whichever side wins, half of America will believe this will be the start of the end. America is a country divided even now. An earthquake has shaken the very foundation this nation was built on. What are we to do?

In times of uncertainty, I always look at the Bible. We may not know the details between points A and B but we know where it leads to. Interpretations may vary but the prophecies are never wrong. I’m not an expert in the end times so I listened to Pastor Chuck Swindoll’s exposition of Revelations (the final book of the Bible).

Revelation-Unveiling the End, Act 3: The Final Curtain

There will be a rapture. There will indeed be the battle of Armagedon where nations from all around the world will gather with their forces. The preparation and events leading to this confrontation will be carefully crafted but the actual slaughter will not last long.

Chuck came up with 4 conclusions:

• The absence of America is surprising – ie. America is not a prominent factor in the final battle.
• The presence of demonic activity is frightening
• The resurgence of interest in the Bible – there will be a hunger for the truth
• The influence of Christ is compelling

That’s a lot to unravel and it still left me with a question: So what are we to do in the meantime? I like Chuck’s suggestion:

“The best thing to do to prepare for the coming of Christ is to tell people about Christ. It becomes for them an escape … a rescue from the horrors that remain yet future.” — Chuck Swindoll

But this is just me. TGIF people!

“Fear is often our immediate response to uncertainty. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing fear. They key is not to get stuck in it.” — Gabrielle Bernstein

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. “ — Isaiah 40:31

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” — Hebrews 10:23

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Maria of Norwalk, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Benny of Chicago

Thanks to Vincent of New Jersey

Thanks to Sharon of Connecticut

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with this.

SUBSCRIBE

The post Annoyances appeared first on Traveling Archive.

My apologies if you expected some humor today. It’s Good Friday in the Christian world and, as is our tradition, no jokes today as we bow our heads in humble recognition that today our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross. We will be back with our regular program next week.

The prophet Isaiah saw the Messiah being interrogated by King Herod who couldn’t get a word out of him. Isaiah described the scene in this way:

“He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth. — Isaiah 53:7

Jesus didn’t waste his time on useless banter with silly King Herod. Perhaps, Jesus had a checklist of prophecies he was expected to fulfill all throughout his life and this was his last day on earth … and he had not slept a wink. I’m guessing he needed to conserve his strength to go through the trial, the scourging … the crucifixion.

But Jesus didn’t remain silent all throughout. Did you ever wonder if he had a low voice? Was it loud? It’s pretty wild when you realize that Jesus (the god-made-man, one of three … creator of the universe) actually spoke a human language. Let that sink in. No he didn’t speak English … didn’t have a British accent like they portray him in some movies. He spoke Aramaic and most probably with a Galilean accent which I’m guessing had a northern drawl. Compared to the accent of the elite citizens of Rome, Jesus might have sounded like a Hillbilly because he grew up in a fishing village. He was low class.

I extracted (and slightly edited for clarity) all his words from the four Gospels. If we placed a microphone in front of Jesus, these would be the sound bytes we would have picked up. I did not include the comments of the other characters — these are exclusively Jesus’ words. What I found interesting is Jesus’ thoughts (just as in his normal earthly encounters) were always for others except when he was already delusional and nearing death when he thought of his own needs.

The hot mic starts in the quiet setting of the Mount of Olives, in the garden of Gethsemane, in the chilly early morning. If you are familiar with the story, you’ll be able to follow where and when the words were spoken. If you aren’t familiar with the story, let this be the trailer of a movie. Later, I suggest you pick up a Bible and start reading chapter 18 of the book of John

JESUS’ FINAL WORDS

“Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

“Who is it you want?”

“I am he,”

“Who is it you want?” (For the second time)

“I told you that I am he. If you are looking for me, then let these men go.”

“Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I was with you … teaching in the temple courts … you did not arrest me … but [I know it’s because] the Scriptures must be fulfilled.”

“Put your sword away Peter!!! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?!”

“I have spoken openly to the world. I always taught in synagogues or at the temple where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.”

“I am [the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One] and you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

“If I said something wrong, testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?”

“Is that your own idea, or did others talk to you about me?”

“My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

“You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

“You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”

“Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ Then they will say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us!’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us!’ For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

“Woman, here is your son. Son, here is your mother.”

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

“Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)

“I am thirsty.”

“It is finished.”

“Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

Friday, about 9:00 am, Jesus was nailed to the cross. By 3:00 pm, that same day, Jesus’ earthly body stopped functioning. Saturday, his followers scattered in fear. But Sunday … (oh wonderful Sunday just before sunrise) Jesus resurrected from the dead. Hallelujah!

Of course this is just me.

TGIF people!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” – John 3: 16-17

The post Final Words appeared first on Traveling Archive.

The Witness

WARNING: Kinda Religious. Move on to the jokes if you’re not into this kinds stuff.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was a night like any other night. Me and my fellow shepherds were watching over our flock of sheep. Suddenly, a guy appeared out of nowhere. And he said:
“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.”

We were still figuring where did this guy came from when — vvvhooom!!!

Without warning, a bright light pierced the night sky. One guy screamed like a girlie girl! (Laughing) The others just let their jaws drop and left their tongues hanging. I raised my hands to shield my eyes. Squinting, I saw movement on top of me; the shapes slowly turned into strange people floating above us… lots and lots of them … wearing dazzling clothes.

Then they started to sing: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

Then, just as fast as they came, they were gone.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming. Did you just see what I saw? Hear what I heard? Are you as curious as I am? Should we check out what’s going on in that town of Bethlehem?”

We all ran down into the village to the familiar animal stalls. All the while I’m thinkin’: “This stinky place is where we will find the Christ? The hero who’s supposed to save mankind?” Sure enough, there they were — the father was gazing down that long wooden box where horses and cattle drink their water. Inside the manger was a new born baby crying softly. The mother was exhausted from the delivery and resting while the father was looking on at the helpless little guy.

The father was disoriented. He was startled to see us.

“Are you the owners of this animal shed? I’m sorry for our intrusion. We just didn’t have any place to go and the baby was coming out. I looked around and there wasn’t anywhere clean to lay my wife down to deliver the baby so I used this water trough. We’ll leave as soon as my wife finds the strength to get up. But for now, please let me rest. I’m so so tired.” Sweat and tears rolled down his cheeks.

“No, no, don’t worry about us,” I assured him, “we’re here because someone told us there was a baby born this evening and we wanted to verify that it was true.”

“What? Did you hear that Mary? Someone knew you were giving birth!?!?!”

Me and my friends took turns trying to explain what had happened out there in the fields. “I know this sounds weird and creepy but we’re telling you the truth. We were told to go here … why do you think we were told to go here?”

The man started to cry. “These past 9 months have been very difficult. I was told in a dream that I was to marry this woman. I was told the baby would be a boy and I was to name him ‘Jesus.’ I was told to travel 80 miles … I was told … I was told … I was never given a choice. Do you realize the doubts I carried? Part of me dismissed the whole absurd plan because it was all based on a silly dream. But listening to your encounters with the angels and your visit … this is a sign! This is the proof I needed.” He sobbed on my shoulder.

The woman was silent but with eyes opened wide, and she pondered these things in her heart.

“Why don’t you come to our home where you can get a decent rest?” So we helped them to our home where they stayed for a few days. Joseph and Mary adhered to Jewish tradition so after 7 days, they went through the ritual of purification (cleansing of the impure blood from the delivery which was akin to the impure blood in a menstrual cycle). As was the tradition, at the end of eight days, the child was brought to the temple where he was circumcised and formally given the name ‘Jesus.’ There they met Simeon and Anna who both confirmed that the child was indeed the Messiah they had waited for their whole lives.

MORE BEHIND THE SCENES

Some time later (it could have been weeks, months, but not more than 2 years), three distinguished men with their entourage arrived from the great unknown lands of the East (we can’t be certain where because few of us at that time traveled more than 10 miles from where we were born). Some say they came from the region of Iran or India or even China — who knows? They were dressed differently; talked differently … they obviously were educated because they navigated their way here by following the stars. Herod the Great heard about them and granted them safe passage. The strangers explained their mission to find the new born king; Herod had no clue what they were talking about. But when he heard the word “king,” daggers of hate and jealousy filled his devilish mind. He asked them to relay where the child lived under the pretense that Herod would also pay homage.

The three wise men were led to the child by a star (whatever that really was) to the house where the family lived. They gave their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrhh. Fortunately, the strangers were informed in a dream to avoid returning to Herod and they returned to the East using an alternate route.

Herod was fuming mad when he learned of their betrayal. Satan and his henchmen are powerful but they are not omniscient (all knowing) so once the word about the Messiah was out, their spiritual army connived to murder the child. Countless Bethlehem babies born at the same time plus a year older (for good riddance) were slaughtered.

Unbeknownst to Herod, days before the attack, Joseph was instructed in yet another dream to vacate the premises and he took his young family to Egypt where they hid until Herod’s death. History tells us that this evil Patriarch died of an excruciating intestinal disease, burning fever, ulcerated entrails, foul discharges, convulsions, stench (Antiquities 17.6.5) — God‘s wrath against Jesus’ first true enemy was evident.

Soon the young family returned to their real home in a Galilean town called Nazareth where the child grew strong filled with wisdom and was blessed and protected by God.

I’m just a lowly shepherd. I can’t explain why things happened the way they did but I know that this was the start of something big!

EPILOGUE

It’s already past midnight. Gotta send this email off without much editing. This story is based on my study but I obviously sprinkled a little drama to bring back the significance of the Christmas story that often gets lost in its repetitiveness. I encourage you to do your own research in the beginning chapters of the gospels of Matthew and Luke. Even though Christmas is a time of joy because we celebrate the birth of Christ, in reality there was quite a bit of dark nefarious activities. But thanks be to God for His protection. Joy and peace be with you! Merry Christmas!
And of course, this is just my opinion. TGIF people!

Raoul.

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Donna of Texas

Original art by Raoul Pascual.

Videos of the Week:

Special Christmas Crying Edition

Thanks Ernie of Fresno, CA (some may think this is exploitation … perhaps).

Parting Shots

Thanks to Bob of Placentia, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre. CA

I found these

The Traveling Boy

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

SUBSCRIBE

The post What I Want for Christmas appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Authentic Christmas

It’s beginning to look LESS like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Take a look at the COVID stats,
it’s rising once again
With health complaints and hospital lanes that grow

I have to admit that it’s beginning to look real weird even for me, a professional office cave-dweller. Christmas is my favorite time of the year so not to experience the hustle and bustle of shopping, partying and traveling for the first time in my life is going to be tough. We don’t have a single Christmas decor up. It’s just my wife and pets — why bother, right? A group of us were hoping to give a mini-Christmas concert but with the recent spike in infections, even that has been cancelled. We practiced several weekends for nothing!

But then I remembered the very first Christmas.

If you believe what is written in the Bible, you know that this baby Jesus (the only begotten son of the almighty God of the universe) abandoned a place of indescribable peace and beauty in order to become like one of us — a man susceptible to hunger, to cold, to temptation, and to ridicule. Instead of choosing rich and powerful well-connected parents, he chose a simple carpenter as a father and a very young mother (probably in her young teens). So insignificant were these newly weds that after they traveled some 20 km to a faraway town in Bethlehem, they could not find a room to rest. They hadn’t anticipated the throng of other travelers arriving at the same time to register for the census. The pregnant mother possibly pleaded not to take the journey because her time to deliver was so near but the law of the land forced the arduous trip. Unable to find decent shelter they found a manger …(a den for farm animals). The fragile baby Jesus, the new born King, started his human life wrapped up in rags and laid to rest inside a cattle’s feeding trough.  All of this to save people who don’t even realize they need saving.

And here we are; near the end of the infamous Covid year… locked up in our homes with our computers, online movies, a stockpile of food and we’re complaining about toilet paper and cancelled mini-concerts.

Be safe, be healthy, and remember: It’s a lot less commercialized Christmas but it’s a lot more authentic Christmas. TGIF people!

Raoul

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Peter Paul of S Pasadena, CA  for sharing these jokes.

Video: Amazing Goalie

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

I shared this video before but when I watched it again, I couldn’t help laughing out loud. What dedication! What a trooper! What “bad luck”  just being in the right place at the right time.

Video: Crosswalk in Quebec

Thanks to Naomi of North Hollywood, CA who shared this innovative solution to slow down traffic at the crosswalk.

Video: Something’s Wrong With My Apple

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA
Dry British humor

Don’s Puns

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, BC who sent this pun

Parting Shots

Thanks to Ed of Studio City, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Peter Paul of S Pasadena, CA

The post Believer appeared first on Traveling Archive.

A Divided Nation

I guess we’re starting the new year with a bang. A real BANG! with the hit on a terrorist in Iran. Predictably, the politicians are not shy about expressing their opinions. Sadly, the country is more and more divided even on something you would think they should actually agree on. It’s almost automatic — what one side says, the other side always has to disagree.

Some say that we shouldn’t mix politics with religion but last night I was reading Matthew 12 and it just hit me that this is one of the most politically charged passages in the Bible — and it’s as relevant then as it is today. It’s about Jesus vs. the Establishment — Jesus’ miracles (that are obviously good) are condemned and questioned by the Pharisees. Listen to their heated debate:

“Our long established rules demands that you shouldn’t do that!” they said.
“You mean I can’t do this?! *bling!* and Jesus heals a man’s crippled hands.

“Grrrr! Why you defiant little twirp! You belong to the dark side!” they said.
“Oh yeah? Why would I be doing good if I belong to the dark side? That doesn’t even make sense! Talk is cheap but the proof is in the obvious good that is accomplished. Good trees make good fruit. Bad trees make bad fruit.” Jesus argues.

“Well, we demand more proof than just miracles!” they retort.
“I already sent you lots of ’em. Remember Jonah and the whale? If you still don’t get it now, what’s the point in showing you more?” Jesus says.

“Lookie here! Our ‘fact-checkers’ say these guys are your Mom and brothers! How can you be the Messiah if you come from this ordinary family? Gotcha!” they smirk.
“Nice try diverting the argument. Those are just my earthly family. These guys who believe in me are my true family!” Jesus ends.

Of course this is just a paraphrase of the debate. Read it yourself and pay particular attention to the dynamics and tactics employed. Don’t they sound like today’s politicians?

What has me worried is that America may not survive with all of this internal bickering. I believe there are powerful forces that want to take America and the world down and they have already infiltrated our system.

“any town or family that divides itself into groups which fight each other will fall apart.”
— Matthew 12:25

But through prayer, there is hope. Can’t we grant each other patience and respect? Let’s really listen to the other side. It isn’t a matter of who’s smarter or more informed. Facts don’t matter when you’re up against pride. We all win when we lower our pride. And I say this to myself too and I know it’s hard.

Of course this is just me. TGIF people!

Raoul

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA for sharing this joke.

Don’s Puns

Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Video: 1933 Self Parking

Hard to believe there are millions of drivers out there who do not know how to back up or horizontal park. Here is an invention that can still probably help today. Thanks to Chuck of Whittier for sending this.

Video: Bird Mimic

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, BC for sharing this adorable bird.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this:

The post Job Interview appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Gout

I had a terrible bout with gout for about a week.
Standing on the sore foot, I shouted out loud: Ouch!
But no one was about.
So I stayed in bed just to pout.

Yeah, yeah … I know my poetry is terrible. But it’s true. I do have gout and was bed-ridden because the pain was excruciating. I need to start exercising. Forget my excuse of a hurting back or a recovering hernia. Because now it’s my gout! This is getting serious.

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I missed helping raise funds by doing caricatures for the “Meals on Wheels”  charity event last Saturday. Then on Sunday there was a water leak in one of the properties I managed. In both events, I was helpless to do anything. It just wasn’t my day.

I researched that the cause of gout is very high levels of purines which come from food rich in uric acid. I also read that gout hits men more than women. What makes a man different from a woman? Aha!  Blood! Women shed blood every month. Men don’t. So my theory is: To avoid gout, men need to give away blood periodically to clean their system. I remember that I used to donate blood often and when I did, I never had gout.

The swelling has gotten better so today I went to the Red Cross to do my civic duty to donate blood and test my theory. I went through the usual screening to make sure my blood was usable. It was all systems go until they asked a crucial question: “Have you been out of the country in the last year?” I said I went to Nigeria on a Rotary mission trip. Immediately, red flags went up and the nurse disqualified my donation. It appears that Nigeria is a high risk malaria country. One needs to be here in the U.S. about 15 months before their blood could be accepted by the Red Cross. Bummer!

So now I’m in a quandary. How do I get rid of my old blood if the Red Cross won’t accept it? Do I prick myself? Yeow!  It really isn’t my day.

So … do you know anyone suffering from gout? Can you ask him to try my theory and donate blood? Also, do you know of any hungry vampires?

TGIF people!

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA for sending this joke.

Video of the Week

Mark Lowry: Clean Comedian
Sent Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Chinese Restaurant Skills

Sent by Debbie of Moreno Valley, CA and Don of Kelowna, B.C.

These Chinese Food artisans are a joy to watch.

Parting Shot

Thanks to Ernie of Fresno, CA who shared this.

The post Turtle Attack appeared first on Traveling Archive.

The Gift

Time stood stilI at the top tier of the church risers last Saturday. Maybe it was the light glistening on the musical instruments. Or maybe it was the exuberance of the conductor. Whatever it was, I realized all this buzz was in preparation of the birth of one individual. For the uninformed, it must be a strange sight to watch grown ups behaving like kids waiting for their Christmas presents. This day of Jesus’ birth was planned way ahead in eternity past. Philosophers kinda knew it was coming but only God knew the details of His master plan. Who woulda thunk the backdrop of this central moment in global history would be a decrepit manger (translation: a stinky, shanty unfit for humans)? In a rare display of outright joy, God shared His excitement to the angels who burst into angelic music never before heard by human ears. The angels passed it on to lowly shepherds who went and visited the newborn babe. Mary and Joseph were prophesied that their child would be King. They must have seriously doubted the predictions when they looked at their pitiful surroundings. The visit of the shepherds and their story about the angelic orchestra must have given them the encouragement they needed.

I remember my excitement when my kids were born. I wanted to give my kids the best medical attention, the best everything … in contrast our all powerful God chose to give us the gift of His son wrapped in humble rags. No cigars, no champagne, no victory parade … just curious shepherd visitors.

(Isidro is a jobless drifter who had to hitch for his rides. For weeks I had been looking for an affordable bike to surprise him. The day before our practice, I bought Isidro a brand new bicycle. I was beaming with pride and excitement because Isidro had no clue what I had saved for him at the back of my car. Imagine my heartbreak when he said he didn’t want it.  He said it was too small, too impractical … I was crushed. Isidro’s pride prevented my joy.)

When the child Jesus grew up, few realized HE was God’s gift. They treated Him with disdain. They mocked Him … they killed Him. They rejected God’s gift. Mine was just a bicycle. God’s was His most precious and only begotten son. Think about that for a while.

Time stood still in the choir because I realized that Christmas joy comes from an exchange. It’s in the giving and the receiving. Without that completed transaction, there is no joy. And when we remember the reason for the season and accept THE GIFT, there is joy overflowing. Love and joy come to you — and to you God’s blessings too.

Merry Christmas!

“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given”   — Isaiah 9:6

TGIF people!

Joke of the Week

Christmas Parking

Shared by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Videos of the Week

Jeanne Robertson: Left Brain Christmas Gifts
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Shopping cheap and shopping practical.

WATCH VIDEO

Jingle Bells in Bowls
Sent by Charlie of New Jersey

This Asian uses bowls like a xylophone. He’s a pretty happy camper.

WATCH VIDEO

The Chinese Recorded Jesus’ Birth, Death and Resurrection
Sent Art of Sierra Madre, CA

WARNING: RELIGIOUS/POLITICAL video: Skip if this bothers you

The film quality is poor but this is a compelling historical evidence attesting to the validity of the life of Jesus. These are not religious but historical documents. There really was this man who performed all of these amazing miracles.

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Heavy Thought of the Week

Sent by Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

Parting Shot

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA who shared this photo

Hey, do me a favor. Get your copy of the brand new Traveling Boy Joke Book. It’s pocket size and is perfect for a stocking stuffer. It’s about $10 only, unique and … ideal for your office mate or business friend.

The post Christmas Parking appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I Have Met Santa Claus … And His Name is Norman

Norman is part of the FORBS (Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas). Last Saturday, I was in a kid’s Christmas event at the Whittier Museum plugging the book: “Tom the Mouse” (You haven’t bought it yet? What are you waiting for?). In between his duties, Norman and his wife, Linda (Mrs. Claus), and I chatted about his seasonal adventures. He said he had so many Santa stories that he might write a book. Of course I told him if he needed any help with production and illustrations, I knew someone who was excellent in getting his ideas together [wynk! wynk!]

He shared a story about an angry little girl whose arms were crossed and  looked at him accusingly. Norman wondered if he did something to offend her. She opened up: “So … where’s the Barbie Doll House I wrote you about? All I got last year was a cheap stocking stuffer!”

There was this little black sweetheart who ran to him excitedly and hugged him like they were old friends. “I knew it! I knew it! You’re the REAL Santa!” she said as she tugged at Norman’s beard. “There’s a fake BLACK Santa running around in our neighborhood! You’re the REAL Santa!!!

There was a little boy who couldn’t stop talking. “My brother was so good he [did this and that] …” After a while Norman realized the boy was avoiding something. So he asked the kid: “Your brother sounds like a good little boy but what about you?” The boy just kept babbling more about his saintly brother. “But how about you?” Norman insisted. More talk about his brother until finally he stopped and put his head down. “Aw, gee!” he said, “I guess you won’t be bringing me that bicycle again this year, huh?”

Oh, the imagination of young people. So precious. So innocent. Remember when you sat on Santa’s lap? Where did the years go? Aren’t you glad you are allowed to become a kid every year when we celebrate the birth of God-made-Man?

I like Santa but I do have to point this out: If you haven’t figured it out yet, Norman is a fake Santa. Surprise! Surprise! Do you realize the power he holds comes from children who want to believe and their parents who feed their imagination? Lots of fake stuff going around in this world today. Some good. Some bad. Like Santa, the power of pretension (fake news, fake smiles, fake ads, etc.) exists because of people’s belief system. It’s an open debate whether adults should lie about Santa or not. Personally, my wife and I never lied to our kids. We told them to respect and not to ruin the game of other families. They always knew the truth ahead of their contemporaries. They never felt deprived of their childhood, never had to transition from a lie, and they’re all the better for it. But that’s just our family.

I know some of you celebrate the season in different ways. But if I’m not mistaken everyone buys presents for their loved ones. Isn’t it wonderfully amazing that we all experience this genuine exchange of love towards each other? I know I’m going to make a mistake in this greeting but what the heck! — Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukah! Happy Diwali Day! Happy Bodhi Day and Happy Ramadan! May God bless us all. Peace on earth. Goodwill to man!

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”— Bob Hope

TGIF people!

Joke of the Week

Heavenly Business

Shared by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Videos of the Week

Donald and Hillary Sing a Christmas Duet
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

I thought this was very funny and well done. No, it isn’t political .. just funny.

WATCH VIDEO

A Social Media Christmas
Sent by Charlie of New Jersey

Here’s something I got right after Christmas … last year! I’ve been saving it all this time. It’s still pretty good.

WATCH VIDEO

Just Say Christmas
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

WARNING: RELIGIOUS/POLITICAL video: Skip if this bothers you

In this politically correct world, do you say “Happy Holidays” when you really want to say “Merry Christmas?” This Jew’s perspective  makes you think.

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Christmas Fun

Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Parting Shot

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA who shared this photo

Hey, do me a favor. Get your copy of the brand new Traveling Boy Joke Book. It’s pocket size and is perfect for a stocking stuffer. It’s about $10 only, unique and … ideal for your office mate or business friend.

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