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Turtle Attack

5 min read
Raoul’s 2 Cents

Gout

I had a terrible bout with gout for about a week.
Standing on the sore foot, I shouted out loud: Ouch!
But no one was about.
So I stayed in bed just to pout.

Yeah, yeah … I know my poetry is terrible. But it’s true. I do have gout and was bed-ridden because the pain was excruciating. I need to start exercising. Forget my excuse of a hurting back or a recovering hernia. Because now it’s my gout! This is getting serious.

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I missed helping raise funds by doing caricatures for the “Meals on Wheels”  charity event last Saturday. Then on Sunday there was a water leak in one of the properties I managed. In both events, I was helpless to do anything. It just wasn’t my day.

I researched that the cause of gout is very high levels of purines which come from food rich in uric acid. I also read that gout hits men more than women. What makes a man different from a woman? Aha!  Blood! Women shed blood every month. Men don’t. So my theory is: To avoid gout, men need to give away blood periodically to clean their system. I remember that I used to donate blood often and when I did, I never had gout.

The swelling has gotten better so today I went to the Red Cross to do my civic duty to donate blood and test my theory. I went through the usual screening to make sure my blood was usable. It was all systems go until they asked a crucial question: “Have you been out of the country in the last year?” I said I went to Nigeria on a Rotary mission trip. Immediately, red flags went up and the nurse disqualified my donation. It appears that Nigeria is a high risk malaria country. One needs to be here in the U.S. about 15 months before their blood could be accepted by the Red Cross. Bummer!

So now I’m in a quandary. How do I get rid of my old blood if the Red Cross won’t accept it? Do I prick myself? Yeow!  It really isn’t my day.

So … do you know anyone suffering from gout? Can you ask him to try my theory and donate blood? Also, do you know of any hungry vampires?

TGIF people!

Blood Donation

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA for sending this joke.

TGIF Joke of the Week: Turtle Attack

Video of the Week

funny video

Mark Lowry: Clean Comedian
Sent Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Don's Puns: Push the Envelope 1

Don's Puns: Push the Envelope 2

Chinese Restaurant Skills

Sent by Debbie of Moreno Valley, CA and Don of Kelowna, B.C.

These Chinese Food artisans are a joy to watch.

Parting Shot

Thanks to Ernie of Fresno, CA who shared this.

Parting Shot: Not 2 People

 

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9 Comments

  1. Heather

    June 28, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    CALL ME! WE NEED TO TALK!

    Reply

  2. Tom

    June 28, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    Good article and though I have never suffered from Gout however one good thing it’s regarded as a rich man’s ailment. I will pray for your healing.

    Tom

    Reply

    • Raoul

      June 28, 2019 at 5:43 pm

      I think I heard that before too. Maybe the legend was mixed up with the
      rich uric acid.

      Thanks for your prayers. Feeling better already.

      TGIF!

      Reply

  3. Lois

    June 28, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    Well, this is one woman who has had gout. Therefore, I take Allopurinol and will for the rest of my life. Your doctor probably has, or will, put you on this medication. My nurse daughter said your theory is possibly right because post-menopausal women get gout more than younger women, but she’s not suggesting blood-letting as a preventive. Probably the best way to control gout would be to control your diet, along with taking Allopurinol.

    Reply

  4. Naomi

    June 28, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    The son of a friend of mind has gout – the remedy for him is eating Cherries every day. Don’t know the theory behind it, but it seems to be working for him.

    Good luck

    Reply

    • Raoul

      June 28, 2019 at 5:44 pm

      Thanks for the advice. Funny, my wife said the opposite thing about cherry. Can’t trust the internet anymore, can we? I’m buying cherries … they’re in season now.

      Reply

  5. Jennifer

    July 1, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    Hi Raoul,
    Hope you’re feeling better!
    Loved the Mark Lowry clip and wanted to tell you that I was also rejected at a blood drive.
    We’re unclean! 😜

    Blessings,
    Jennifer

    Reply

  6. Regie

    July 4, 2019 at 8:43 am

    Hi raoul,

    I am a bad case of gout. I am free of bp problems, hypertension or any kinds of illnesses people of our age suffer nowadays. But i am a bad case of gout. It runs in my family. Got it from my dad. But i tell you, i have not suffered from gout for such a long time now. How did i do it?1) go see your doc. – he will prescribe you meds that will give you QUICK RELIEF from your attacks. After which, he will give you a maintenance med. i know the meds for you to take but i dont want to be the doc here. Your doc would know best.2) observe a good diet. – at least once a day, i take in only fresh water fish cooked as sinigang (oil free) or pesang and a lot of vegies.3) exercise – i walk (used to jog but knees dont permit it anymore) at least 3 kms and at the most 5kms a day. Suggest you get yourself a dog. I have a golden retriever. We walk as early as 4am and done in one hour. With a dog, bcoz it is house broken trained to answer nature’s calls outside the house, you are REQUIRED to take it out. It becomes not just optional. You have no choice. I have house-help who takes it out in the afternoon as i work the whole day.4) lastly and most important, DRINK A LOT OF WATER. I consume at least 3liters of water a day. That allows you to cleanse your body.
    Never was extracting blood ever prescribed or suggested.
    I know how hard it is to be hit by gout. But follow my steps, you will be free of it. I promise!!

    Regie

    Reply

    • Raoul

      July 4, 2019 at 8:44 am

      Wow! That’s quite a prescription. I will see if I can do that.

      Thanks!

      Reply

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