Anger Management Test

I was excited. My wife was returning from a week-long trip to the Philippines. I was supposed to pick her up on Tuesday. However, Monday started a long list of misfortunes.

Since LAX (Los Angeles International Airport) is an hour’s drive away, I decide to fill my tank with gas on Monday. Wouldn’t you know it? My car decides to die on me right at the pump. I call for help and the lady who is overseeing the pumping line pushes my car towards the parking spot ahead of me. As she pushes, my steering wheel jams and I could hardly turn. Up ahead I see a red, shiny $1M Ferrari. (Of all places, why would anyone park his Ferrari in front of me?!?!) “Lord, you gotta be kidding! Where’d you hide the hidden camera?!” We miss it by a few inches. My heart is pounding. Looking at the bright side, I guess if the Ferrari owner saw me, he would have had a heart attack!

Road Assistance comes over and the ER car mechanic tells me my starter is the problem. So I bring it to Mr. P, a mechanic who goes to the same church. Surely good ol’ Mr. P isn’t going to RIP me off like the other mechanics in the area, right?

Mr. P is hospitable and he’s joking around and we exchange banter like we are best buddies. I picture this scene of us smiling, my balloon says “he’s a swell guy for helping me out like this” while his balloon says “how much can I RIP from this bozo?”

He said he needs to check it out first. His son drops me off at my home. Soon Mr. P calls me and says It is going to cost me almost $700. I swear I heard a piece of paper going “RrrriiiP! — sucker!” He also says it would be ready after lunch — so picking up my wife was not gonna happen. Mr. P could have quoted me a million bucks because he knew I had no choice but agree to any price he dished out.

That evening I’m messaging my wife about her needing to take Lyft to get home. She’s frustrated, I’m frustrated … we’re not in a good mood. A few hours later, she tells me there’s something wrong with the plane’s hydraulics. She’ll arrive on Wednesday instead. “Well, at least I can pick her up now.”

Tuesday morning Mr. P phones in and tells me the car will be ready by lunchtime as promised. I’m thinking I might have misjudged him … maybe the parts were expensive … so I ask him to check for anything else that needs repair. After all, I wasn’t rushing for anything anymore. Less than an hour later he gives me a long laundry list of what needs to be done. The total would only be an additional $2,500. I nearly Puke. So that’s what Mr. P stands for!

“No thanks! Just change the oil and whatever else would fit my budget of $1,000 and that should be enough.”

Just before closing time, I decide to walk the 2 miles to Mr. P’s shop. He volunteered to order an Uber for me but I would have none of that added to my bill … I needed to exercise anyway. A quarter of a mile away and I get this cramp on my left calf muscle. “Lord, you gotta be kidding! Where’d you hide the hidden camera now?!” You should have seen me limping and hobbling as traffic whizzed around me. I swear I hear someone yelling — sucker!! Miraculously, I make it in less than an hour. Mr. P’s mouth starts babbling like a salesman. His words enter one ear and out the other. The total bill is — Ka-Ching! — $968.87 — just $31 under my budget. My face drops. I just pay the guy. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. In my mind, I’m scratching his name from my list of nice people in church.

My wife messages me again – she won’t be arriving on Wednesday after all. The electrical system at the Philippine airport is acting funny. She has to continue to enjoy an all-expenses paid accommodation at this luxurious hotel. Sigh! Some girls have all the fun!

So finally Thursday comes around. To surprise my wife, I decide to take our two corgis with me. Big mistake! Instead of jumping up to the backseat, those pesky little mischievous canines-from-hell decide this is fun-time! They run around the car taunting me to chase them. “Lord, you gotta be kidding! Where’s the hidden camera?!” I clap my hands, stamp my feet, I whistle, I make puckering sounds and those pranksters look at me smiling with their tongues hanging out. I waste 10 minutes and finally grab them by their leashes and carry them into the car. They’re laughing at the back as I start our long journey to the airport.

Surprisingly, I get to the airport 30 minutes early so I park in a street 3 minutes away from the arrival area. All is “quiet in the waterfront” when my wife texts me that they had just landed. I’m elated that this chapter will be over soon.

A minute later, I witness a policeman gather traffic cones and starts cordoning off the street that leads to the airport. Oh no! I see cars detouring to my parking area. Then, even the detour is cordoned off. Then cars start piling and blocking my way out. Before it gets any worse I decide to pull out and start heading for a distant detour — 5 miles away. I notice several blinking black government SUVs being escorted towards the airport. I figure it’s this government big shot who’s causing all these disruptions.

In the meantime my wife is texting me … complaining that she had to go through immigration, customs and now she is randomly chosen to go through yet another line because her baggage tags belongs to her original Tuesday flight. She is fuming mad but I am calm in my thoughts of revenge: “Hey Mr. Big Shot Bureaucrat! You messed up everyone’s day, you messed up my schedule — prepare to die! Ratatatattat!”

At long last I turtle-pace in the LAX traffic to my wife’s gate. She is all smiles. The dogs are unusually quiet but obviously happy (I guess the 2 long hour wait snuffed the punk out of them). The drive home is a lot faster than I expect. All is good. I am glad because I still have time to spare to pick up my grand kids from school. But when I get there, my daughter is already waiting to pick them up. There obviously was a miscommunication. Did I let it bother me? Nah! I’m already an expert in misery!

Yes, I had a bad week but I can’t say I had a terrible week — my car’s working, my wife’s home with her corgis, the grand kids are home. Life is nice and dandy. It helps a lot if you face your daily foibles with a cheery attitude. So many hot buttons yet not one hot enough to burn me down. How’d your week go? Did you pass your Anger Management Test?

Impatience is the breeding ground of anger and anger is only one letter away from danger.

TGIF people!

Raoul

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Phil of La Habra, CA

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Wyne of Mandaluyong, Metro Manila

PARTING SHOTS

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Garie of Kainta, Metro Manila

I found these

THE TRAVELING BOY

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

The post Enormous Hand appeared first on Traveling Archive.

For thousands of travelers, the summer of 2022 was a disaster: hundreds of cancelled flights, shortages of pilots, countless flight delays, a deficiency of ground crews and airport personnel, endlessly slow-moving security queues, and images of luggage piled sky-high, gave us plenty of reasons for all kinds of second thoughts about our upcoming trip to Europe. It would be our first major trip following the more than two-year lockdown. Researching airlines, including many we have flown in the past, we came upon Condor, a German leisure line based in Frankfurt, and the only major airline on the planet that did not cancel a single flight during the dreadful travel summer of 2022. Operating a fleet of over 50 aircraft, Condor also maintains their own maintenance facility, an additional bonus for sure.

We booked Condor for an early October flight from LAX (Los Angeles) to Frankfurt, both of us with one roll-on each, and added their Rail&Fly package from Frankfurt to Dusseldorf. We would be flying aboard a Boeing 767-300, Premium Economy on our way there and Business Class on the return flight. Our departure from LAX was scheduled for 5:50 p.m. An hour later we were in the clouds, but Condor made up the time with some strong tail winds, and we arrived on schedule. Announcements were in German and English, which was convenient. Walking through the aircraft, we noticed that the flight was nearly full with passengers that ranged from young collegiates returning from vacation in the United States, to couples in their 30’s and 40’s, and business travelers. Premium Economy seating meant two seats on either side of the aircraft and three seats in the middle. Chatting with passengers on either side of us, we learned that some had flown Condor numerous times, while for others it was their second or third flight with the airline. One commented that Condor could use an additional clerk at LAX check-in. The plane was clean, the restrooms were well-maintained, and the benefit of Premium Economy was adequate leg room and an intriguing menu.

Attractive flight attendants served dinner at 33,000 feet. The LAX chefs had prepared fresh, lightly marinated king prawns with smoked salmon and a dab of horseradish, and chicken breasts strips with a sprinkle of Teriyaki sauce and Asian vegetables on a bed of rice. Before catching some shut eye with a blanket, facemask, and ear plugs, we had a selection of 71 movies and 110 television shows to browse. Breakfast, served by efficient, hard-working flight attendants, was a fresh fruit salad, a warm cheese sandwich and fruit yogurt.

Frankfurt International Airport

Nearing Frankfurt, we dropped down to a landscape that was a brilliant green; Mother Nature seemed unwilling to give up her summer colors. We guessed the captain might be a former Navy pilot because of his smooth landing technique. The Frankfurt airport, third largest in Europe, was bustling with activity with various languages colliding in the background. Lugging our roll-on’s, and making a few inquiries, we soon found the train depot and with Condor’s Rail&Fly package we boarded a fast-moving train to Dusseldorf.                       

Our pre-flight research revealed that Condor began flying as a division of Lufthansa, orchestrated by former Lufthansa employees; in December 1955, they launched Condor’s first flights with a fleet of three British-made Vickers Viking two-engine propeller aircraft, with 36 seats. In 1966, Condor’s first long-haul flights were to Kenya, Thailand, Sri Lanka, and the Dominican Republic, and in 1990-92, Condor was the first airline to introduce a separate, more comfortable class into its aircrafts. In 2019, for the fourth time Condor was voted Germany’s most popular holiday line, and in 2021, they ordered 16 new Airbus A330-900neo long-haul aircrafts, addressing state-of-the-art  technology, paramount efficiency and, best of all, the highest level of customer comfort.

Condor Business Class

Business Class is an extraordinary extravagance, and at the Frankfurt airport, Condor enhances the pleasure, sharing a roomy and comfortable business lounge with Lufthansa. When we arrived before our return flight, passengers were relaxing on a quiet rainy day with tea and champagne. The lounge offered drinks, appetizers and a selection of three steaming soups, and nearby was a small “Chef’s Delight” table where local Chef Tamara Seebachter had prepared a tasty pumpkin dish with slices of fresh smoked trout, begging passengers to lift a fork.

Our return flight departed on time at 2 p.m. Flight attendants served orange juice and champagne, while at each seat were a blanket, pillow, and Refreshment Kit. A large menu listed dinner selections starting with a pastrami tartlet with chimichurri, and a fresh baby green salad with tads of tomatoes drizzled with an appetizing balsamic orange dressing. Our Main Course choices were an organic vegetarian plate with spinach leaves                                                                                           

Red lentil dal, and a chicken breast fillet dabbed in lemon butter with garden-fresh vegetables on a bed of a nicely prepared pea orzo risotto. An assortment of bread was offered as well as a semi-sweet mango coconut tartlet. The wine selection included a brut reserve French Champagne, German Riesling, New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, and an Italian Sangiovese. A nice touch at the conclusion of dinner was a sip of Port wine with a platter of grapes and cheese. Also available are special menus for children, and vegan, lactose-free, or gluten-free meals. The flight attendant supervisor in Business Class on our flight was Carina Schunk, who has worked for Condor for 24 years. She said many of the employees have been with Condor for more than 10 years. Smiling, “ It’s the Condor spirit and it’s alive and well.”

The entire flight attendants on the return flight from Frankfurt to LAX. A number of the flight attendants have worked for Condor more than ten years. They said it’s the Condor Spirit. They have stories to tell with more time in the air than  most of the passengers.

With lights dimmed, creature comfort comes full circle with seats that allow one to stretch their legs. Before landing at LAX. a snack included a mix of seasonal greens, cucumber and tomatoes with a light raspberry dressing, or a slice of grilled sausage in a savory tomato curry sauce, and lastly a raspberry tart with elderberry and pistachios. This was our 57th flight to Europe on assignment and Condor did not disappoint.

Of Note

From its Frankfurt base, Condor has connecting service to more than 100 destinations throughout Europe along with a network of airline and rail partners. Four North American gateways provide access: LA, Seattle, New York and Toronto. From other cities in the U.S. and Canada, Condor has interline partnerships with Alaska Airlines, JetBlue and WestJet. Condor’s Economy Class is value-oriented, but Business Class passengers can check sports gear and skis at no extra charge. www.condor.com.

The post A European Flight with Condor appeared first on Traveling Archive.

In November 1975, I was Manager of Publicity for Continental Airlines, in our corporate HQ at LAX. As a lifelong aviation aficionado, and an even more proud American citizen (I was born in London!) I’ve always been intensely interested in American politics, and so knew that our president (whoever it is) today always flies aboard an impressive, specially equipped B-747. Back then Air Force One was a B-707, tail number 26000. On both sides’ of the fuselage, in large letters, it said UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. The public knew it as Air Force One. I was thrilled when I discovered that anytime it flew to Los Angeles with the president, the aircraft parked at Continental’s hangars. Because Continental’s  PR team was always involved in working with the media when Air Force One came into LAX, I got to know the Secret Service guys who played a major role in these visits.

As time went on I developed a kinship with one of them (I still have his business card) and each time the aircraft came to LAX, I felt he “trusted” me more and more. So, I plucked up my courage and said, “The next time AF One flies into LAX, could I get a tour inside?”

He said YES!

In the Fall of 1980, AF One flew in with President Reagan and, along with Al Feldman, the new CEO of Continental, we got to take a tour inside one of the most famous airplanes in the world. As we stood at the bottom of the steps to go on the aircraft, there was a big, hefty looking USAF Master Sergeant who, in a loud voice and in VERY firm tones, said “Do not take anything once you get on board. We’ll give you a Gift Pack before you leave.”

There were several things that surprised me. After entering by the door nearest the nose, and immediately by the right hand side, there is a sort of huge keyboard with the telephone connections to most of the world’s key leaders. I’d expected there’d be some sort of bedroom. There wasn’t. I also noticed, as we headed towards back of the ‘plane, it got less comfortable. We were told “that’s the media section.”

It was THIS B-707 – tail number 26000 – that flew Kennedy to Dallas in 1963. It was referred to as Air Force One when the president was aboard and, at other times as SAM 26000. Costing $8 million back then, she entered service in 1962, and was used by President Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon. On March 24^th, 1998, the plane was retired to the National Museum of the United States Air Force at Wright Patterson AFB, near Dayton, Ohio.

As I stood in the exact spot aboard the aircraft where Johnson was sworn in as President of the USA in 1963, an eerie chill ran up and down my spine, as I visualized that now famous scene and photo. Appreciating I was actually on board THIS unique B-707, my emotions and feelings were heart tugging and “tear inducing.” Here I was standing in the same plane that President Kennedy had gone to Dallas in, but had returned to Washington in a coffin.

As a longtime travel journalist my work has taken me to 51 countries where I’ve been privileged to see and do countless “things” that many people can only dream about.  However, as I toured Air Force One that day in 1980 at the LAX Continental Airlines hangar, I’d  never before experienced such powerful thoughts about life, happiness and how fortunate I was, to live and work as a naturalized American citizen in this marvelous country called America. Departing this classic aircraft (with my little Gift pack!) and knowing its unique part in American history, I knew this would the most incredible experience of my life.

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