The American Symphony stateroom – a ship’s term – doesn’t accurately describe accommodations more befitting a mid-sized hotel room with more closet and dresser space than in my apartment. Flat-screen TV. Check. Vases of fresh flowers. Check. Private balcony. Check. Sumptuous robe. Check. It was so comfortable we almost hated leaving it. But ah, both food and excursions beckoned.

The gourmet meals were fortunately accessible by the half-portion, because some form of edibles is available round-the-clock. There are more snacks accessible in multiple lounges than in your neighborhood 7-11. Return from an excursion – big basket of candy welcomes you back. Enter your room only to find a delicious pastry on your dresser. Warm cookies show up every day at 10 and 3. And a menu separate from the dining room is available from 6:30 a.m. to 5 in the Sky Lounge. Of course, there is a daily cocktail hour with hors d’oeuvres preceding dinner. Heaven forbid you should go to dinner actually hungry, not that that seemed to hinder anyone… Not exactly a spa vacation. Yes, there is a fitness room but as one crew member said, “It’s the cleanest room on board!”

I’m accustomed to complimentary wine and beer available at meals but here all manner of alcohol is available all day. Being a Fireball drinker, that’s a real boon. And Madison guarded my bottle with loving care, transporting it from lounge to lounge as necessary. And you gotta love a cruise that offers Baileys with your morning coffee! If you’re a teetotaler, this may not be the cruise for you. The “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere rule” does not even begin to apply. Bloody Mary’s abound in the morning and the 3 o’clock lecture features a rum punch.

And with all of this, tipping is discouraged. Several times my husband and I said to each other: “Why in the world would every crew member be so accommodating and gracious when they’re not even getting tipped?” A very unexpected cruise benefit. Plus there’s free laundry…. Oh, and did I mention, airfare is included?

At the introductory meeting, cruise director Christian, describing all the on-board activities and shore excursions available, used the word “enrichment” about five times during the half-hour presentation.

Multiple excursions are offered daily from walking tours of the different cities to visits to a myriad of museums, historic homes, national parks, gardens, multiple plantations, cultural outings, brew and view tours, local river explorations and outdoor adventures. Onboard there are daily lectures, interactive games galore, guest speakers, music and multiple places to just get away from it all in which to drink, read, isolate, socialize or just ponder life.

Every night there is entertainment from ’50s and ’60s sing-alongs (alas, that may indicate the age of the majority of clientele…), blues band, C&W combos, comedians, and more.

Sample game? Two Truths and a Lie. Guests fill out a form listing two truths about themselves and a falsehood. The rest of the guests vote on which is the lie. Some of the interesting offerings: Former Rose Bowl Queen; Exotic Dancer in College; Met Buzz Aldrin and Alan Shepherd; Married 2 ½ times; Had a starring role in 16 adult films; Lives in Brooklyn (okay, not ALL the answers evoked interest….). And of course, much of the fun lay in discovering just what was true and what was not. Not always predicable!

You can be as social or anti- as you like. There’s the option at every meal to dine alone or with others but everyone was friendly and welcoming, interesting and well-traveled. And, of course, you can do as much or as little as you like. The al fresco upper deck is a delightful place to read or just watch the river world pass by. And if you’re anything of a Civil War buff, this trip resembles heaven – every town involves a Civil War Museum of some type, Civil War history, military encampments, Civil War forts – and once back on the boat? An assortment of lectures on Civil War history. But other options prevail with more wide appeal.

For me, this was the most appealing: The Great River Outdoor Adventure. Driving the ATV around the Double C Ranch seemed innocuous enough at first (a far cry from the Antebellum homes and Civil War museums in which I’d spent most of my time). We initially saw a herd of cows and calves cavorting the countryside, forming a very close welcoming committee – literally as we were able pet them from the vehicle. I tried to imagine what kind of treat you’d give to a 1000-pound bull to get him to French Kiss an ATV driver.

Next stop: an archery range. After a quick lesson, we got to test our skill. I felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment as I killed that bear – three hits out of three. We also stopped to pet Fred, a very imposing 1700-pound Brahma bull. He’s friendly, we were told, although the woman who got a tad more than nudged in the crotch was none too happy. Then onto fly fishing and tomahawk throwing. Not my forte. I wanted to go back to the archery range.

Initial summary of the ATV adventure: I couldn’t read the notes I took. Then I couldn’t even take any. Then Mackenzie instructed us all to put the ATV into 4WD – and we started flying over treacherous terrain, through deep mud puddles, up and down steep ravines. At this point just surviving the ride was the goal – but what an exhilarating experience! Now maybe tomahawks, bows and arrows and ATVs were products of the Civil War, but I doubt it!

Another non-Civil War getaway? The Cajun Swamp Pride Tour. Instructions ahead of time? If your hat or phone falls into water, don’t retrieve it. No one needed to be reminded twice as the waters were strewn with alligators. And why not? The captain feeds them marshmallows from the boat. Why marshmallows? Don’t ask.

We also stopped to view a herd of wild pigs on the shore – as well as an array of adorable raccoons, rewarded for showing up when called with some corn meal. Alligators obligingly ate their marshmallows alongside. It was almost more zoo-like than wild life encounters until the captain opened a gate leading to a perch attached to the boat – and from there fed the alligators chicken for which he encouraged them to jump up out of the water to retrieve, which they willingly did…. Also menacingly. I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else on board knew how to steer the boat….

For more information, visit Lower Mississippi Cruise.

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Foreign countries may close their borders and airlines cut their flight schedules, waiting for Covid-19 to disappear, but that doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to a vacation this year in a Colorado hideaway as safe and solitary as it is remarkable.

At the Ranch at Emerald Valley, on 100,000 acres in the Pike National Forest, near Colorado Springs, ten fabulously rustic cabins and a maximum of 32 guests makes outdoor activities – and social distancing – as comfortable as if you owned the place.

A couple of months before the pandemic hit, my husband and I spent our anniversary at Emerald Valley Ranch, playing pioneer in a luxurious but rustic log cabin, hiking the back country trails, photographing wildflowers, fly fishing for trout and sitting under the trees with a book, soaking up nature. Not much cowboy grit about it, but I hadn’t expected any. Emerald Valley it isn’t that kind of ranch. And then the old cowboy appeared.

I’d spent the morning by myself, hiking on Mount Vigil, the peak behind the Ranch and was on the road back to the cabin when a leathery-faced old cowboy hobbled around the bend, leading a horse and muttering to himself. Just as he reached me, a car pulled up and the driver, eyes masked behind dark sunglasses, leaned out to ask directions.

I was about to answer when the cowboy stopped, wrapped the reins around the saddle horn and squinted at the license plate. “Texas, hmm, humph,” he grunted, frowning. Then he pointed down the road. “That way,” he said.” “Thanks,” said the driver, hesitating. “I’m Tony,” he added. “I’m going to the Emerald Valley Ranch. I’ve got a reservation but I’m lost. Say, do you know why they call it Emerald Valley? Was there a gold mine here? Gemstones, maybe?” Curious myself, I stepped closer. “Well now, I couldn’t say,” said the cowboy, pulling a dented army canteen off his belt. “I’ve wondered on it myself. Might be for all them green trees, a hideaway-like, where a person can git away and think.”

“They used to call it Camp Vigil, after that mountain there,” he said. “Real special for old Mr. Penrose, Spencer Penrose he was, the man who built the first lodge up there on Cheyenne Mountain. Back in the 1920s, that was.”

The cowboy took a swallow and paused, warming to an unexpected audience. “The way the folks around here tell it,” he went on, “he’d git down here with friends, sittin’ up late, telling stories about mountain climbing and all. That’s a purty fine log cabin he had, the one they still got. It’s renovated now with a real bar, tables, all chinked up, nice and tight. You’ll see. No rain gittin’ in there.

“All kinda trees shades them log cabins, and your creek has a waterfall and lakes stocked regular with trout. The cabin on the hill is a palace, big enough for weddings and the like. The cook’s in the kitchen most days, handy with the fixin’s. I stop in now and then and he makes me a plate.”

When he paused, I spoke up. “Is Spencer Penrose the one who built the zoo at the bottom of the mountain and when the town organized parades he’d ride the elephant through town?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said the cowboy. “He bought the land for them animals. It’s what happens to folks from the east when they git to this here west. The land took old Penrose and it’s took the new owner, too. The rocks, the hills and your meadows, they call you to put down roots.

“You buy an acre, build a cabin, git some chickens and you think you’re done. Then the place next door gits a sale sign so you buy it, git a rail fence and a cow and call it a ranch. Then that homestead down by the creek, well, you need water in these parts so you buy it, too. That’s history, hereabouts.”

With that, the old cowboy tipped his hat, nodded to me, clucked to the horse and they clumped away down the road.

“Guess I’ll be seeing it for myself,” said the driver, adjusting his sun glasses and revving the engine. “Can I give you a ride?”

“No thanks, I’ll walk,” I said.

“But you can’t check in here. You have to go back to the Broadmoor, in town. It’s not far.”

Alone again I got to thinking. The old cowboy was right. Story telling is just another other word for history, especially in a hidden valley like this one. Back in the day, when gold miners explored Emerald Valley, the road to the Ranch was called the Gold Road. I’d seen the tailings on our horseback rides, mounds of yellow sand piled up between the trees.

But the mines were a disappointment, leaving the valley in peace until a local Girl Scout troop rented it over a couple of summers. When that petered out, Spencer Penrose leased 16 acres from the Pike National Forest to build a log cabin headquarters for his newly-created social club, the Pikes Peak Camping and Mountain Trails Association.

After the club disbanded, the log cabin sat empty until a family-run dude ranch decided to try their luck. Finally, in 2011, after multi-millionaire Philip Anschutz bought the Broadmoor Hotel, he purchased the property, enlarging the lodge, building ten new, sumptuously decorated pioneer-style cabins, and hiring a staff and a chef.

As for the “palace” on the hill, the one the old cowboy described, it was vacant on the day I checked in, so I wangled a tour. Trudging uphill on a winding path, I thought I’d been banished to the barn until I spotted the two-story cabin and the flower-decorated flagstone patio, with an outdoor grill and space large for a 25-guest reception.

Big glass windows lit the living room, decorated with hand-tooled leather chairs, big sofas, wood floors and a man-sized fireplace. Western and Native American art decorated wood-paneled walls and furniture. The kitchen, with an island long enough for a restaurant, included 20 feet of cupboards, counters, sinks and appliances. Four bedrooms and baths, upstairs and down, were intended for families and friends.

Your time is your own except for dining, set at specific hours. But even that is flexible. If the hike was longer than you expected or you slept late, you wouldn’t miss a meal. The lodge manager can provide maps, contacts, advice, suggestions and guides. This summer’s special riding experience (priced separately) is the “city slicker,” a genuine cattle drive.

According to Ranch Manager Craig Hilton, this year’s guests will experience social distancing with some masks on some occasions. “Tables are a little more spread out, both in our inside dining room as well as our two outdoor dining areas,” he told me. “Cleaning protocols are enhanced and followed according to the CDC and local Health Authority guidelines, including the use of electrostatic sprayers.”

Twice a week we gathered around a crackling campfire at dusk for a nightcap and to watch the stars blink on in the sky. A mike and speaker in the corner suggested an evening of background music, earning an “oh-oh,” frown from some.  But the arrival of guitarist Jeff Houlton, in his signature cowboy hat, a professional musician and accomplished singer, earned smiles. Wowing us with a real show, he played both new and old favorites, and all requests. If I ever wondered whether Colorado’s unique brand of western hospitality lives on, I had my answer.

GLAD YOU ASKED: Check-in is not at the ranch but at the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs, after which you are chauffeured to the ranch. Guests who stay at the lodge atop Cheyenne Mountain first, can hike down to the ranch on a marked 5.3-mile trail.

Included in daily rates: The Ranch at Emerald Valley is expensive but all meals, drinks, fishing gear and activities are included. Additional horseback rides cost more.

For more: Visit Broadmoor, The-Wilderness-Experiences, The-Ranch-at-Emerald-Valley

Getting there: Fly to Denver, then drive or fly to Colorado Springs.

©Syndicator 2021 Anne Z. Cooke

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