Men and Little Men

Father’s Day

I was just talking with my male friends and somehow our conversation gravitated to our need to keep busy at home … at least to have the appearance of keeping busy. One of the guys was semi-retired and he said his weekends were actually busier than his week days. He is forced to go shopping and do errands with his wife. Another said he would spend hours away from home because at least he was free to manage his time. Wives, did you know you have this effect with your husbands?

Why do house chores only come from the wives? Why don’t husbands have a list for their wives? One guy said that he was trained not to give orders. He found out early in their marriage that each favor he would ask of his wife was reciprocated with 3 from her. Another said he preempted everything that needed fixing rather than admit it was an order from his wife. When I mentioned it was Father’s Day this Sunday, we all laughed because now we would have to work double time to make our wives happy. Happy Father’s Day! Good luck!

Home Camping

Many have asked me to report on our Home Camping this past weekend. It was a huge success. Here are some lessons learned.

• Share your itinerary with the parents first to get their cooperation and approval.
• If you have a partner, be sure you are in agreement on what needs to be done. Lift each other up. Don’t disagree in front of the kids.
• Don’t be too strict with your schedule (thanks Rick of Covina, CA for your great advice). Allow the parents to hand them over at their convenience. Just go with the flow and remember to have fun.

Pickled Eggs:

• Do put your eggs in “one basket” – when it comes to boiling 13 dozen eggs, it’s easier to dump them in a vat and cook them at the same time.
• I was afraid I bought too many eggs but several dozen eggs was actually perfect. I got about a dozen 32 oz jars of pickled eggs.
• Make sure there is enough room in the refrigerator for at leat 2 weeks of marination.
• Letting the kids watch the procedures in a video helped get them interested.
• The hardest part is removing the shells. Immersing the hot eggs in cold water didn’t help that much. It was too delicate to trust my kids to do it and it took me 2 hours and my thumb was all sore.

More Lessons:

• We taught them to prepare all the meals. They learned to make salad and cook corned beef, pork chops, salmon, toast, bacon and eggs.
• No they did not handle the knife. They were afraid to.
• We let the kids pray before meals and we got some insight into their world.
• We learned subtle family dynamics — who’s the alpha child and who needed a boost in self confidence.
• We taught them how to act properly with our cats and dogs … how to always be in control.
• We shared Jesus’ The Parable of the Prodigal Son. They didn’t know what a parable was and that Jesus actually told stories. They learned to look below the surface of events. We assured them of our love and God’s love.
• I shared my Pink Ping Pong Balls joke (see last week’s TGIF Joke) and they kinda got it after I explained what was happening. Now it’s an inside joke between us.
• When my wife and I got tired, and needed to recharge, we were glad they could occupy their time with video games and educational cartoons like the Magic Schoolbus and audio stories like Paws and Tails.
• I gave each of them a riddle to find $10 for spending money.
• Then I showed them how to determine the best products in a grocery store. We bought chicken, ice cream and bananas.
• The highlight of their time was the video recording of my song (My Corgi and Me) which I am sharing below.
• After they learned the song, I showed them how to play it with their kid guitar. Who cares if we sounded terrible. We had fun. We recorded it.
• We realize this is just the start of a new (more meaningful) relationship because when they were leaving, they asked when we would do it again.

I encourage all of you to do your own Home Camping. It gave the parents much needed date time. If you have another parent willing to do this, take turns being the host. Hopefully, do it when your kids are still impressionable … when they still listen. Camp with no more than 2 or 3 kids at time so you get to know them individually. I can’t believe we accomplished all of that in one weekend (Saturday AM to Sunday PM). This is a weekend we will never ever forget … a weekend our boys felt special and loved.

Please share if you do your own Home Camping. You will have the opportunity to shape their character. Let’s start a generation of well rounded citizens.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. ” — Ephesians 6:1-4

TGIF people!
Raoul

Thanks to Mel of Washington, D.C.

Video of the Week

This is the recording of our Home Camping. It’s about Tonka and Tinker, our two corgis, who bring smiles to all who see them walking in the streets. My grandkids took the video and joined my wife in the singing. I hope you like it.

If you are interested, I put the lyrics and the chords HERE.

Father’s Day Parting Shots

Thanks to Kathy of Bend, Oregon

The post Reincarnation appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I’m observing a changing social landscape. See if you agree with me.  They say we live in a patriarchal society where men are the bread winners and women take care of the children. Even though popular media decries the imbalance of men vs women’s salaries (which is still predominantly true) the same sources do not acknowledge that there have been  major strides towards the bridging of this gap.

Raise your hands if you know of a married couple where the wife earns more than her husband. Raise your hands if you know of a “house-band” who is taking care of the children while the wife goes to work. Raise your hands if you know of a hen-pecked husband.

Like the mystery of disappearing bees, there is a disappearing man who “wears the pants” in the house — the stereotype of the man of the 70’s — the chauvinistic strong silent James Bond types who rescue damsels and save the world. The liberated “secretaries” who sing “I am woman hear me roar” and who smoke Virginia Slims (wow! remember that?) have blossomed into independent Wonder Women. Still do not believe me? Compared to yesteryear, how many more women heroes are celebrated in TV and movies? Even Netflix has a category where females have a strong lead role.

When I attended my son’s graduation, I think the women grads far outnumbered the men by 75% … maybe more. Why? I have my theories but that is not really why I am bringing this up. I’m thinking of Sunday — Father’s Day. If you are wondering what a good gift will be for the Dad in your life, I am suggesting something other than the standard shirt or tie.

Because of the changing gender roles I believe Dads want appreciation more than anything money can buy. With the depiction of buffoons like Homer Simpson and other dorky TV Dads, you wonder if there are any hero Dads left. It’s true the “Me Too” movement has exposed some dastardly Dads but what about the faithful Dads? Can’t we cheer them on? Don’t get me wrong. We’re all imperfect and we all have our internal demons but Super Dad is not given much recognition.

Why is it easy for many of us to appreciate our Moms during Mother’s Day but Dads …? Why is it so much easier to focus on the negatives? Indeed there are some awful selfish Dads out there who deserve to be hung by their fingernails. Who am I to justify their misdeeds? My own Dad isn’t perfect. But neither am I. Let’s not talk about other Dads. Let’s talk about YOUR Dad. How is/was your relationship with your Dad? Does he, did he, fall short of your expectations? I ask because I wonder how I’m doing as a Dad. Did I do enough?

This Father’s Day, may I suggest you don’t buy him something he will never use. Instead, talk to him and have a meaningful conversation. Ask his advice. Make him feel important in your life. Initiate a bridge towards any needed reconciliation. If you are fortunate to have a super Dad, it will mean a lot for him to hear you say it.

For some, I totally understand if my suggestion is too hard to do … well, you can always get him a tie.

I know my Dad reads my TGIF joke email so, in front of everyone,  “thank you Dad! I appreciate all you did for me and helped shape me into the man I am today.  Love you a lot. I’ll try to call you on Sunday.”

Of course, this is just me.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
—   1 Corinthians 13:4-7

TGIF people!

Be Careful of Your Words

Shared by Eric of La Mirada, CA
According to Eric this was the funniest joke in a recent Scottish poll.

NBA Bad Lip Reading
Sent by Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

It’s trash talking time with the NBA players. Silly and funny.

WATCH VIDEO

The Animation Winner: Piper
Sent by Naomi of North Hollywood, CA

This  movie “Piper” won the Oscar for the best animated  movie. It’s  duration is only 3 min but  the director took 3  years to create it. See how life can change when our perception changes.  An outstanding movie!

WATCH VIDEO

When Kids Grow Up With Dogs
Sent by Debbie of Moreno Valley, CA

Makes me want to have a dog again. I grew up with dogs but now it seems like the maintenance is too much for me right now. No pets for now. Less stress.

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Parting Shot

Thanks to Rodney of Manitoba, B.C. who shared this photo

The post Ugly Baby appeared first on Traveling Archive.

My father died while I was roaming through Northern Italy. He was 52. He passed away peacefully in his sleep in his home in Florida. I found out about it at the American Express office in Istanbul three weeks later when I opened a letter my brother sent me.

This was 1970. There were no computers, no smartphones, no Skype. I knew my dad was sick. My brother promised to write to me if our dad got worse. So I checked designated American Express mail drops in cities throughout my journey, looking for mail addressed to me, hoping not to find a letter.

My dad had been ill for nearly 7 years with an incurable disease so rare that only 100 cases were known to exist. When he was first diagnosed they gave him 6 months to live, maybe a year. He agreed to become a lab animal, let them experiment on him with new drugs and treatments. He was in and out of the hospital. He wasn’t getting better but he didn’t get worse. His pain was under control. But his days were still numbered.

That summer before my senior year at UCLA I agonized over taking my long-planned trip across Europe. It was the height of the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement, and all the social tumult of that time. Even though I was energetically caught up in all of that, none of it concerned me in this moment. It was leaving my dad all summer when he relied on me.

I stayed with him in the summers during college, worked in his radio business, and took care of him as best I could. My parents were divorced several years earlier so my dad and I had lived apart for some time. He had nurses, and my new step-mother, and my brother and sister within reasonable distance. But my dad and I had a different bond, a deeper one.

I didn’t fully understand our bond until after he died. It only slowly dawned on me in the months that followed when I didn’t have him to talk to, to joke with and to share with – to love. I remembered how he would stay up late at night to listen to me run my nighttime music show on his radio station in Orlando. The next morning after I got some sleep he would critique my performance while we ate cereal together.

He applauded my good grades in school, cheered my athletic success, and enjoyed my creative endeavors. He taught me the radio business. When he told me he would pay for me to get my private pilot’s license I was thrilled. He had been a flight instructor during World War Two. I don’t know if I ever truly thanked him for any of this.

When I was in high school, even with his painful illness, he would drive the 90 miles up to Gainesville on a weekend to watch me play baseball. He thought they should put me in the outfield more often, not just first base. “You can catch the ball!” he’d exclaim. “But you also have a great arm.” He didn’t mind I batted near the bottom of the order.

Early in June my plane tickets were set and I was a week away from embarking on my journey. I still wasn’t sure. My dad encouraged me to go, said he’d be fine, told me this was my once in a lifetime chance to have this adventure. I thought he was only being brave, and selfless. I turned to friends and family. They too urged me to go. They said, “If you cancel the trip and stay here he’ll think you did it because of him and he’ll be miserable.” I figured they were right. So I boarded the plane on schedule and landed in Brussels with my backpack, passport and a bunch of Travelers Checks.

A few years earlier my dad tried to talk me out of going to college in California. He said he thought I’d feel out of place, that I should stay in Florida among friends and familiar surroundings. I already knew the ropes here, he reminded me. I realized later his pitch was because he was going to miss me. At that time I didn’t know how sick he really was. He didn’t tell me. He chose not to influence my decision that way.

Following that summer of 1970 I never celebrated another birthday with my dad, or another Christmas. But every Father’s Day I have my bowl of cereal and I tell him how my year went.

I don’t remember how often I thanked my dad, or how often I told him I loved him. All I know is it wasn’t nearly enough.

The post Remembering My Dad appeared first on Traveling Archive.