Funny Guys

Gary Lising was a Filipino comedian — the Rodney Dangerfield of the Philippines. What he lacked in beauty he certainly made up with his fertile wit. Someone shared a story about Gary this morning that really made me laugh. It wiped some of my stress away. So I dug up some of his jokes which I share with you today. Hopefully, the punch lines don’t get lost in the translation.

Gary said he wished he would die peacefully in his sleep just like his grandfather … who fell asleep behind the wheel and not like the passengers of the bus.

When it was time to introduce the keynote speaker, Gary walked up to the podium and introduced the [simple-minded] president and said, “President Estrada is a man who does not know the meaning of the word fear. He does not know the meaning of the word corruption. He does not know the meaning of the word dishonesty. There are many words he does not know the meaning of.”

Gary is proud of his very Catholic upbringing: “I’m very close to the Cardinal,” he said. “Even as a boy, the Cardinal was very religious because of the influence of his father … who was also a priest.”

“I feel fulfilled when I see my son,” Gary confides. “He’s very handsome. He looks like my driver.”

“I’ve been married for years and I’m still in love with the same girl. My wife will kill me if she finds out.”

“My wife has a Supreme Court figure – no appeal.”

Gary’s Definitions:

Conversation: Conversation is when three women stand on the corner talking. Gossip is when one of them leaves.

Cosmetics: Cosmetics are a woman’s means of keeping men from reading between the lines.

Courtship: I like her because she doesn’t “No” much.

Gold diggers: Some girls will only go out with a man who is tall, dark and has some.

Showgirl: More show than girl.

Stingy: He orders asparagus and leaves the waiter the tips.

Ugly: With a face like mine, I could sue my parents for damages.

Thank God for funny guys like Gary. They certainly color our world.

TGIF people!

Raoul

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA for sharing this joke.

Don’s Puns

Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

VIDEO: Pinoy’s Got Talent

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA for sharing this video of Marcelito Pomoy’s unusual audition. This guy’s been going around the entertainment circuit. He’s pretty popular.

VIDEO: Beach Ball

Thanks to Tony of Southern CA for sharing this short and funny clip.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Naomi of North Hollywood who shared this:

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Window to the Soul

I got a lot of favorable comments from last week’s blog. You can read some of them here.

Have you ever made eye contact with someone across the room and realized you both were staring at each other? I have. Have you ever looked away from someone across the room, only to sneak a second look when you thought the coast was clear and found that that person did the same thing? I have. Have you ever looked away from someone across the room, only to sneak a second look when you thought the coast was clear and found that that person did the same thing and then you stumbled on your face because you weren’t looking where you should have in the first place? I have.

What is it about our distracting, unnerving “window to our soul?” Why do we connect as individuals in such a powerful way through our eyes?  I confess, I see people’s souls all the time when I do my portraits — probably even more than an optometrist. While eye doctors examine the nerves, in my best days, I become sensitive to my subjects’ aura, their personality … their souls. As an artist, I need to do this in order to capture their essence in paper. Most of the time though, I tone it down a bit. Otherwise, the connection will be too intense for me to focus on the initial impression … the vibes, of that person.

I’ve seen deep sadness, innocence, evil, troubled marriages, deep insecurity, many nervousness, uncontrollable laughter, lots of self-consciousness in my “little caricature office.” There have been powerful bosses who could not stare into my eyes for fear that their sins would be revealed.

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