Twitterpated

WARNING: Just my opinion. Move on to the jokes if you’re not interested.

I enjoy watching my grandsons grow up.

Yesterday on our way to basketball practice, we passed by two teens exchanging (what appeared to be) their first kiss on the steps of a fenced community. “What was that?!” I exclaimed. “I don’t know,” my grandson giggled and both their eyes grew wide and shocked. But, as soon as we turned the corner, they were back to their basketball conversation like nothing had happened … such innocent kids!

During my preteen years, I didn’t know what girls were like. Sure I had sisters and cousins but they didn’t count — they weren’t real girls. Growing up in an all-boy Catholic school, my batch mates were clueless about these “heavenly creatures.” What do they eat? What do they talk about? How do you start a conversation? What do they smell like? Are they soft like a Teddy Bear? I was fascinated by almost every girl I met. If any girl would talk to me, I would fall in love.

I asked my grandsons if they had any lady friends and they said NO! — almost like saying “why would you even ask a dumb question like that?” Think about this — these boys go to school with girls everyday but they never speak to them unless they are required to. It’s exactly like the scene in Bambi where the boy animals get “twitterpated” by the more mature damsels who lay traps with their alluring glances and seductive poses.

Men, do you remember those years? Wasn’t life so wonderfully exciting? Where did all the chivalry go? I think when we lost our innocence, we started to objectify our women. Not good!

Women, instead of competing with you, would you rather that your man love you, be delicate with your hearts and treat you like the weaker vessels (physically) that you really are?

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.” — Genesis 2: 21-23

There is so much talk today about gender rights, equality and respect. Let’s get this straight: Men and women are different but we are equal in God’s eyes and we were made to complement and not compete with each other. It’s important to understand our roles. God is a God of order and this is His beautiful plan. Let’s not mess it up. We still have so much to learn from each other, don’t we?

But this is just me. And I’m preaching to myself.

TGIF people!

Raoul

“Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.” – Bertrand Russell

“He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none.” – Madeline Miller

“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.” – Alain de Botton

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA

Thanks to Bob of Placentia, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Nani of San Juan, Philippines

Thanks to Drake of Washington, DC

Thanks to Mike of New York

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with this.

SUBSCRIBE

The post Spartacus, A Lion is Eating Your Wife! appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Last Wednesday was Valentine’s Day. Miraculously, I was able to pull it off again. My wife felt special and said she really enjoys Valentine’s Day because every year I manage to “hit it out of the ballpark.” She said that she can’t wait for next year’s surprise.

I don’t know if I should be glad or worried. You see, every year I try to come up with something unusual. Last year, I organized the men in our “Couples Group” to sing “Unforgettable” and read our Love Cards. The wives loved it and the men scored high that day. I don’t remember what I did the year prior to that but I do remember some of the others:

• One year I arranged for a traveling choir of women to sing her Love Songs at her place of work where she was the envy of her office mates
• Another year, when the kids were little, I woke her up in the middle of a chilly night, arranged for a babysitter and we had a warm breakfast of baked potato at a new all-night Wendy’s Hamburger chain
• Many years in a row before Pandora and Spotify, I would prepare audio CDs of her favorite music
• One of our very first Valentine’s evenings, we watched a movie dressed in the same shocking red and white collared T-shirts. Everyone was staring so we were so self conscious we ran to the parking lot to escape their chuckles.

Valentine’s Day Painting

Last Wednesday I posted a painting I had done that hangs in our bedroom. The painting was no surprise to her but it was a surprise for everyone else. She got so many likes and teasing from her Facebook (about 100) friends that she came home in very high spirits.

So here I am, post Valentine’s Day, and already fearing the next year. I should be so lucky, huh? I know she will appreciate whatever I give her … at least that’s what she says … but you know women — what they say and what they really mean can be entirely different. It’s “Clint Eastwood (aka Dirty Harry) time”— “Go ahead … make my day!” We all know she really wants me to do something even more special. That bar keeps getting more and more unreachable.

I’m a dead man walking.

So, how was your Valentine’s Day? Did YOU (men) “make her day?” Did YOUR MAN (women) make YOUR day?”

“The one thing we can never get enough of is LOVE. And the one thing we can never give enough of is LOVE.”
—  Henry Miller (Thanks to Nancy of Pasadena who sent this quote)

TGIF people!

February 16, 2018

Two Times

Contributed by Charlie of New Jersey

TGIF Videos

Illegal Immigrant Proposal in Subway
Sent by Charrie of Virginia

Someone tell me this guy’s just kidding. You single women out there, he’s a good catch! A proper slave!

WATCH VIDEO

Police Scared of Mouse
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Here’s a quick video. Just gives you that confidence in our government issued protectors, doesn’t it?

WATCH VIDEO

Parting Shot

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this photo

Parting Shot 2

Thanks to Scott of Deerfield, New Hampshire who shared this photo

The footsteps that a child follows are usually the ones the parent thought they covered up.
— Anonymous

The post There Are Two Times Men Do Not Understand Women appeared first on Traveling Archive.