A student got in trouble during class and was sent to the principal's office for the first time.

Interviewer: "So tell me about yourself."

An elderly couple have dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives leave the table and go into the k,itchen. The two gentlemen are talking and one says, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

I don't remember much from last night...

"What do you want for Christmas?" "Something for my mother, please," replied Emily sweetly.

I finally cracked the code! This is is an ancient Jewish Song Book that was popular during the Winter Solstice in Bethlehem centuries ago.

A woman goes to the grocery store to buy salt. "Have you any salt?" she asks the grocer.

A woman was cranky because her husband had been coming home late every night. Today was especially bad because he decided to work late and it was Thanksgiving morning. So she decided to leave a note saying, "I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me" and she hid under the bed to watch his reaction.

Me: "Hello." Tech Support: "Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device."

A fly feels a bug on is back. "Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asks.