This will be short. I need to get back to our movie.

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Some of you may not remember the old-time Jewish comedians: Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman and others. But some of us miss their kind of humor. Not a single swear word in their routines and you don't have to be Jewish to enjoy their jokes.

A woman from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and she yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

"Dear wife, thanks for making my life wonderful, you are my angel, thanks for making me worth living! You are great and wonderful."

A man and his wife walks into a dentist's office. The man says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic. I don't have time for the gums to get numb."

An old Native American man goes to his local bank to borrow $500.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Do you have duck food here?"

A young Native American woman wen to a doctor for her first-ever physical exam.

Have you heard of Murphy's Law?