At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well they decided to get married.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Raoul’s 2 Cents Humble Beginnings Before anything else, I really want to thank many of you who bought Tom the Mouse last week. I hope you enjoyed it. When I shared the book with my grand kids last Friday, we had so much fun. They laughed at the word “Ewww!” and mimicked animal sounds. The 2 boys were so competitive searching for the hidden …

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

These are actual complaints received by "Thomas Cook Vacations" from dissatisfied customers.

Betty was lying in bed one night. Don was falling asleep but Betty was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting..."

A woman asks a wise teacher: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity. What am I supposed to do?"

Six retired fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.