My Life as a Garlic-Ginger Junkie: A Pungent Tale

I have a confession to make. Each time I plan a meal, I have a secret mission: to make the world a healthier place, one garlic clove and ginger knob at a time. My kitchen is a shrine to these superfoods, and I’m the high priest of pungent cuisine. Hamburgers? Sizzling with minced garlic and grated ginger. All my soups simmer with them. Sausages, Pork chops, Chuck roast, spare ribs? You bet they’re slathered in my signature G&G sauce, a concoction so potent it could ward off vampires and colds in one whiff.

It all started when I read that garlic and ginger are basically nature’s multivitamins. Heart health, immunity, digestion—sign me up! So, I decided to go all-in. No dish is safe from my zealous chopping board. My hamburgers now have a spicy, aromatic kick that confuses burger purists but delights health nuts. “Is this a patty or a stir-fry?” my wife asks, sniffing suspiciously. I just smile and pass the ginger-infused ketchup.

My spare ribs are a sight to behold, glistening with a garlic-ginger glaze that makes them look like they belong in a wellness retreat, not a backyard BBQ. The Chuck roast? Slow-cooked with so much garlic it could double as an air freshener. And don’t get me started on my pork chops—they’re so zesty, they practically do yoga on the plate. And when the concoction tastes so bad, I camouflage with a couple of jalapenos to deaden the taste buds.

Even my drinks aren’t spared. Orange juice? Boring. I whip up a ginger-honey elixir that’s so fiery, it could wake a coma patient. “Smoothie” doesn’t do it justice—it’s liquid health, with a side of sinus-clearing power. My fridge is a ginger root jungle, and my breath? Let’s just say I’m single-handedly keeping mint farmers in business.

Do you think I’m overdoing it? My skin’s starting to smell like an Italian-Asian fusion joint, and I swear I found a garlic sprout in my hair the other day. Even if my wife stages interventions, begging for a simple pork chop, I won’t be able to stop … I’m too far gone!

As I chop another bulb and grate another root, I hum a famous Japanese tune:

“I think I’m turning ‘to a garlic plant,
I really think so.
The sweat of ginger in my shirt and pants,
I really think so.”

This is fair warning to all ye who choose to dine in my abode. I will not be responsible for the poisons that await you. You’ll either eat healthy or die trying.

TGIF people!

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“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine, or the slowest form of poison.” — Ann Wigmore

“Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.” — Michael Pollan

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” — Mark Twain

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” — 1 Corinthians 10:31

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Laer of Tehachapi, California

Parting Shots

Thanks to Frank of Modesto, California

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

Thanks to Colleen of Washington State

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

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