Obsessed With You

Raoul’s Two Cents: March 20, 2026

CPAP-A-LuLa She’s My Baby

If you don’t want to ponder, move on to the Jokes.

Do you sleep well? I don’t. How I envy you. There are days (or nights) that are better than others but it’s always a struggle especially now that I’ve grown older. My subconscious/hyperactive brain solves multiple puzzles all the time. It doesn’t know that it’s supposed to quit for bedtime. If you’re like me, hopefully, what I share will help you with your sleep problem.

When I joined a Men’s retreat months ago, I was so conscious about waking up my roommates with my snoring that I didn’t get to sleep well. I wished I had a CPAP machine. I used to have one ten years ago but the mask was cumbersome and I didn’t get the rest I needed. So, I ditched it

I heard the technology had improved so I got myself a new Resmed CPAP machine. The machine is quieter. The mask is softer and fits better. (There was a little instruction booklet. Did I read it? Of course not! Men don’t read instructions!) Without hesitation, I wrapped the gear around my head. I felt like an astronaut blasting off into space:

“Houston I just locked my mask on. Am I clear for take-off?”

“Roger that, captain. All systems go! 3 – 2 – 1, blast off!
See you on the other side, sir!”

I closed my eyes, air rushed in the tube and into my nostrils. I dreamed I was hibernating in space. I was hopeful that I would reach Dreamland. But only two hours later, I was wide awake again. I tossed and turned and soon it was morning. The beam of sunlight snuck inside my bedroom. I heard the cars headed for work. My dogs barked at the people passing by. I flipped through the news on my phone — the earth was still rotating around the sun and the terrorists had not blown up the world yet. It was going to be a good day. And here I was in bed … still tired. I wondered if the machine was defective. That was when I read the instructions. But that didn’t help.

I called an expert — my good old friend, Bernardo, who had been using a CPAP machine for years. He convinced me that what I had was top of the line. Maybe I just needed to get used to this contraption. I decided to give it another try. The following evenings, I went through the same routine. The next morning (and the mornings after) I woke up still not rested. I was frustrated.

I was reading the gospel of Mark where Jesus healed lots of people. He healed a blind man, restored the dead to life, etc. (Say, if you aren’t convinced that Jesus is the Son of God, read the action-packed book of Mark.) I noticed Jesus never healed a man with sleep apnea. Maybe this is an incurable disease … maybe they didn’t have CPAP machines in the first century.

CONCLUSION

Would I recommend a CPAP machine? So far, not yet. I still wake up in the middle of the night. I think my real problem is insomnia and not apnea.

I haven’t given up. I’m doing more research. I’ve cut down on my screen time. Trying to read more. I’ll start taking melatonin. I watched a video about the sleeping techniques used by soldiers at war. If you have any suggestions, please share.

My sleeping may not have improved but at least I don’t snore anymore. And that’s still a good thing.

TGIF people! I’m going back to sleep … at least I’ll try.

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Quotes of the Week

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” — Walt Kelly, from his Pogo comic strip

“Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock, and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” – Charles M. Schulz

“I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days but whatever.” – Unknown

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” – Anthony Burgess

“I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.” – Unknown

“Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it’s because you’re awake in someone’s dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.” – Unknown

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, California.

Parting Shots

Thanks to James of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Barbara of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Donna of Whittier, CA

Thanks to Jennifer of Los Angeles, CA

Thanks to Fred of Long Beach, CA

Thanks to Tony of Hacienda Heights, CA

Thanks to Richard of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Norm of Encino, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

Got any good jokes? Come share it with rest of us!
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