Old Man

“So it’s you again. I have a lot of questions about life that I hope you can answer.”

“Sure, I’d be happy to share whatever I can,” said the old man.

I stared at the wrinkles in his face. Age spots have replaced the teenage pimples on his cheeks. His full jet black hair has turned sparse like naked tree branches in a wintry landscape; and there’s a growing acre of a bald spot at the top of his head which is inching its way closer to meet the receding hairline on his forehead. His bright eyes aren’t so bright anymore. He said he needs new prescription glasses. The tinnitus drowns half of the sound that registers in his ears. The biceps in his arms and legs now dangle from his bones like jello.

I bet this man’s body may be fading but his mind is still as sharp as a pencil and he has probably gained so much wisdom from the many episodes in his life. “Old man, is there anything profound you could share with the readers of this TGIF Joke email? I mean, what occupies your mind nowadays?” I asked.

“What occupies my mind? Well, I’m at the age where my mind still thinks I can jump tall buildings, my mischief and my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps wondering why I’m not dead yet.”

And that was the end of the interview with the man in the mirror.

TGIF people!

Raoul

“By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” — George Burns

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” — Ann Landers

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Parting Shots

Thanks to Bob of Placentia, CA

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

I found these

The Traveling Boy

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.

The post 30 Thousand Words appeared first on Traveling Archive.

MY CORGIS and ME

by Raoul Pascual

Intro: AM7  DM7  AM7

Verse 1

       AM7
It’s easy enough to crack a smile   when
                                                     DM7
Tonka and Tinker occupy the streets
                           AM7
With their little feet.

Verse 2

AM7
People come out to catch the scene
                                                     DM7
of Two little tongues hanging out to say I am free
                                AM7
    Won’tcha follow me?

CHORUS

DM7                              AM7
Two Corgis were made I believe
DM7                          AM7
To bring sunshine for all to receive
DM7      E                AM7   Go back to intro
My Corgis              and  me

Verse 3

AM7  
Two furry hot dogs, so proper and clean
                                                                          DM7
Pampered to death like the King and Queen of a movie scene
                            AM7  
With me in between.

Ad Lib

DM7                                               AM7
Pitter patter    pitter patter     off  they go
DM7                                                       AM7
Left to right and right to left     their pelvics flow
         DM7                           AM7                            DM7                 E    (pause)
A ha haaa  (echo)    A ha haaa  (echo)    Ha ha haaaa (echo)    Ha ha haaaa

Repeat Intro and repeat chorus then fade.

The post My Corgis and Me: Chords and Lyrics appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I don’t know about you but I’ve found myself in a Christmas party predicament quite a few times. The folks are huddled together with the air of holiday cheers and then someone blurts this challenging proposal: “Why don’t we sing a Christmas carol?” And everyone looks at you because they know you play the guitar. They hand you the house guitar and believe holding this instrument of beauty (or shameful death) would magically move your fingers to the proper chords.

Sounds familiar? We, at Traveling Boy, feel your pain and anxiety and we have decided that we’d provide this public service. Below are a bunch of Christmas jingles that begin with the key of A minor and you can easily dial it up (go to Travelingboy.com and search for ‘carol’) on your smart phone to guide you through your musical duties.

You can skip to the end whenever you think they’ve had enough. These are the songs in this arrangement:

O Come O Come Emmanuel
Humble Yourself in the sight of the Lord
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Do You see what I see?

This arrangement was posted by Raoul Pascual to fit your iPhone.
Blame it all on him!

O COME O COME EMMANUEL

Intro:  Am – G – F – E

Am                                Dm  Em  Am
O come, O come, Em-man-u-el
C                            Dm   Em   Am
And ransom captive   I——s—rael
Dm                          FM7    G
That mourns in lonely ex–ile here
C                       Dm  G   Am
Un-til the Son of God   a-ppear

CHORUS
      CM7         Am            Dm7 Em  FM7
Re-joice! Re-joice! Em-man-u-     el 
          FM7        Dm7        G F Em   Am
Shall come to thee, O     Is– ra-    el.

Verse 2
O come, Thou Rod of Je-sse, free
Thine own from Satan’s ty–ranny
From depths of Hell Thy peo-ple save
And give them victory o’er the grave

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine ad-vent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to mi–sery.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai’s height,
In ancient times did’st gi-ve the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.

HUMBLE YOURSELF

Am
Humble yourself in the
G                    Am
sight of the Lord (2x)
       Dm7      G         Am
For He will lift you up   (higher and higher)
FM7      G           Am
and He will lift you up.

GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN

Intro: Am – G (2x)

Am               G        Dm7       FM7
God rest you   merry gentlemen
Dm7        G   E
let nothing you dismay
          Am           G                Dm7  FM7
Remember     Christ our Sa-      vior
       Dm7       G               E
was born on Christmas day

Dm7         G       C   E7
To save us all from Satan’s pow’r
FM7      Em7    Dm7
though we have gone astray.
C         FM7   G        Am
Oh tidings of com-fort  and   joy
G
Comfort and joy.
C  G       FM7     Em   Am
Oh tidings of comfort and  joy.

In Bethlehem, in Israel
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Fear not then, said the Angel
Let nothing you a-fright
This day is born a Savior
Of a pure Virgin bright
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan’s pow’r and might
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?

Intro:               A   (G)Asus  A

A                            G     A
Said the night wind to the little lamb
E            D  A
Do you see what I  see?
A                               G        A
Way up in the sky little lamb
E            D  A
Do you see what I  see?
F#m      C#m   E                      F#m
A star,       a star, dancing in the night
DM7     E       F#7
With a tail as big as a kite
DM7    Bm   E      A     G  A
With a tail as   big   as a kite

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
Do you hear what I  hear?
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Do you hear what I  hear?
A song, a song, high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I  know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I  know?
A Child, a Child, Shivers in the cold
Let us bring Him silver and gold
Let us bring Him silver and gold

Said the king to the people every-where
Listen to what I  say!
Pray for peace, people every-where
Listen to what I  say!
The Child, the Child,
sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

The post Christmas Medley in A Minor appeared first on Traveling Archive.