Raoul’s Two Cents: December 27, 2024
New Year Resolutions That Will Never Happen
Here we go again. It’s the end of the year when our ambitions jar with reality. I’m pretty sure this coming year will be extremely interesting. To prepare for the onslaught, I’ve prepared my list of ten resolutions:
- I will start jogging at 5 AM every day.
Because nothing says “I love my life” like waking up before the sun and running until I can’t feel my legs anymore. - I’ll only eat vegetables grown in my own backyard.
Of course, this assumes I can suddenly turn into a master gardener, not just a serial plant killer. - I will not use my phone at all during family dinners.
Instead, I’ll engage in deep, meaningful conversations or stare awkwardly at everyone while they use their phones. - I’ll learn to play the violin.
If “play” means “make noise that sounds like a cat in a blender.” - I’ll cut out all sugar.
Right after I finish this chocolate bar, and the next one, and the one after that… - I will read one book a week.
The catch is, they’ll all be comic books or cookbooks with lots of pictures. - I’ll become fluent in a new language.
By the end of the year, I’ll be saying “Bonjour” to everyone, including my dog, because that’s about as far as I’ll get. - I’ll meditate for an hour every day.
Or at least, I’ll sit quietly for 5 minutes before remembering I left the stove on. - I’ll start composting.
- Which will end with me forgetting about it, only to find an indoor ecosystem thriving in my kitchen.
- I’ll do a digital detox every weekend.
Which is code for “I’ll check my phone every 5 minutes to see if anyone noticed I’m doing a digital detox.”
Aren’t you glad New Year only comes once a year?
TGIF people! Happy New Year!
“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” — Brad Paisley
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” — Thomas Jefferson
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start.” — Nido Quebein
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11
JOKE OF THE WEEK
Thanks to Jess of Oregon
Original art by Raoul Pascual.
Parting Shots
Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA
Thanks to Don of Tennessee
Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA
Not a joke but a cool idea.
Reminds me of me. My family had a bout with the stomach flu.
Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA
Thanks to Norm of Sherman Oaks, CA
Thanks to Jonathan of Irvine, CA
I found these:
This coming year, let’s celebrate the legacy of actor, and Karate Master
Chuck Norris whose overall-tough-guy persona has reached comically
preposterous heights.
If you didn’t know, Chuck Norris never backed out of a good fight.
My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with these.
Betty
December 28, 2024 at 9:09 pm
Happy New Year, Amigo!
Heather
December 28, 2024 at 9:10 pm
Geez Raoul!!!! I’m tired just from reading this maybe list. Too much to think about. I just want to have a kinder gentler country and I know it’s asking a lot but the world! Happy New Year Heather
Richard
December 28, 2024 at 9:10 pm
: )
Hilda
December 28, 2024 at 9:10 pm
I hope it’s not too late for Merry Christmas! But an early Happy New Year … no resolutions for me!
Noel
December 28, 2024 at 9:11 pm
Happy New Year, Raoul!!
Larry
December 28, 2024 at 9:12 pm
Resolutions. Are you preparing for a more aggressive life? Seems to me your plate is pretty full. Good to plan on bettering yourself.
Composting, cutting out the chocolate. Ouch that one hurts me.
I believe in cutting down on the technology. Reading a book. For me it’s the Good Book, but cooking or comics. Stay away from the phone or computer.
Anyway.
TGIF
Colleen
December 28, 2024 at 9:12 pm
Well done, Raoul! Your letter cracked me up! Thanks for the good laughs!!