Dangerous Snake
sent by Dulce of Vancover, B.C.

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table.

The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department.

The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her!

A powerful message from Stevie Wonder regarding Michael Jackson
sent by Mike of New York

A powerful message from Stevie Wonder regarding Michael Jackson.

... . .... ... . … … .. …..

.. . . … . . . . . .. . .. …. .. .. . … ..
... ... .. ... ... ... ... .... ...... ... ... ... .... ..... .. .
.. . . … .. . . . ..
... . .... ... .... .... ...
...... .... .... .... ..... ..... ..... .. . . .... ....
. .. .
. . .. . .. . ...
....... ... ... ... .. ... ....... ... .. .... ... ... .... ....
. .. .. .
.. ....
.. . . . . . .. .. … ..
.. .... .. ... ... ....... ...... .....

Deep stuff huh?
I nearly cried when he said “. .. . . . .. .. … .. .. . . .... ....”

Some responses from Raoul's TGIF SNAKE edition:

Hey Raoul,

You're repeating yourself - the Men's vs. Women's Brains thing has been here before - in case you're interested I find it just as insulting the second time around as the first. Poor little women driven by emotion alone - no capability for rational thought brains always buzzing with useless connections the need to decorate and annoyance with men! Dumb stupid men just wanting to sit there thinking and feeling nothing while the wifey nags. This thing is full of the stalest tropes about men and women. These old tropes limit us all as individuals as partners as a society. I checked Gungor's website, he has no training as a counselor from what I can see, no scientific education, it seems to me that he is simply exploiting a good performance persona and the most base and simple ideas about men and women to make money. His ideas, as put forth in this video are intellectually lazy, emotionally bankrupt, completely void of any kind of scientific knowledge and decidedly unfunny.

As I recall Raoul you have a daughter. You might want to take second and third looks at some of the "humorous" things you put up that are quite frankly misogynistic - they support the continuation in our culture of seeing women as less than men which is going to limit the opportunities available to her in life. Jokes are powerful things and should be wielded thoughtfully - as in the first joke this week, is a man shooting his wife really funny? I know that your religion plays an important part in your life and probably in your attitudes towards women - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jul/12/jimmy-carter-womens-rights-equality

And while I'm at it the Stevie Wonder "joke" is completely tasteless too.

Sorry if I'm bumming out your week but I just couldn't do the "good girl" thing and sit here quietly taking it this week. I've never commented before as I know that you are a fundamentally good person and I didn't want to hurt your feelings but I decided as a fundamentally good person you would want to know that many of the jokes you put up support ideas and attitudes that are damaging to women - and that extends to damage to the family of man does it not?

Jody

* * *

Hi Jody,

First of all, I appreciate your thoughtful and carefully worded letter. You bring forth a perspective that I obviously did not see and for that I do apologize. Actually, I am tempted to publish your comments as it might make others aware of other people's viewpoints. Everyone else who commented liked the jokes. You are the only one who resented them. Of course others may not be as vocal as you. Some people I guess are not as sensitive or as expressive.

Re: Gungor's video
True, I've used him before but this video is a different version. He may not have the Educational credentials but his viewpoints, I believe, are widespread and supported in many psychological circles. My wife and many other women I've talked to can attest to that. Perhaps the video did not explain it, but even if one accepts these generalities, it does not mean one gender is superior to the other. It only explains why we look or approach things differently. Therefore one should not be insulted by it in any way. So I wouldn't have a problem telling my daughter that these are behaviors that she should expect in life. We were not made equal but we were made to complement each other.

I have learned over the years that humor takes on many forms. Show me a purely politically correct person and I will show you a person devoid of any humor. That means in any joke there will always be someone who will get hit the wrong way.

If I may borrow from the famous slogan: "You can fool (make them laugh) some of the people some of the time but you can't fool them all of the time."

Despite the anger I caused you, I do hope you continue being part of my weekly escape from reality. Again, thanks for pointing out my failures. I really do.

Raoul

Hi Raoul,

I had just come on to send you a message to disregard my earlier one. While I still believe the things I wrote to you who am I to say what you or your readers should find funny? Absolutely no need for you to apologize - and believe it or not that I took the time to write and send that means that I wasn't angry and think quite highly of you - at this point in my life I generally don't have the energy or desire to share my thoughts in this way unless I think the other person will be open minded and interested in an honest exchange - thanks for not disappointing. Your answer has raised some more questions/thoughts.

Yes there are many forms of humor, including forms used deliberately to demean and belittle as well as those that do it thoughtlessly - that's why it is such a powerful thing. And why those of us who love and use humor should use it critically and carefully. That first joke for example would have been funny if it stopped at the wife asking if they should bring the plants - in right? Or was it the husband shooting her that made if funny for you? For me that was where it stopped being funny because as you know I don't find violence funny. The reason many people do find it funny is because violence against women (especially by their husbands) is culturally accepted - ouch.

As for Gungor, it seems to me that he's ripped off his ideas from the feminist critic Luce Irigary who wrote a brilliant book called "This Sex Which Is Not One" wherein she explains the different between what she sees as the masculine and feminine styles. Note please the word style which delineates a different approach/view rather than an equal/non-equal dynamic or the fallacy of men and women actually having different brains. I found Gungor's explanation of these two styles though to be full of cliche and demeaning to both women and men. But if you're comfortable having your sex explained as being incapable of having more than one thought at a time and too immature to deal with emotions - again who am I? The men I know though are so much more than that and I firmly believe that you are too.

With your "We were not made equal but we were made to complement each other." I gather that you did not agree with the editorial that President Carter wrote. When I was attending NYU one of my classmates was Earl Green, an African American man who grew up in Harlem in the 50's and is a Vietnam veteran. He was very interested in feminist criticism and I asked him once why. He said that he believed that sexism was the fundamental prejudice of human beings and that if we could as a species overcome that we would be able to overcome all the other expressions of prejudice and treat each other with the respect and love that we all deserve in equal measure.

We are different, every single one of us each man as different from the next man as the next woman - a beautiful expression of plurality. For me that plurality without hierarchy - a beautiful circle of inclusion is the great expression of God that man has not yet been able to understand.

Raoul, there is no failing on your part, you put a lot of time, effort and love into making something that you hope will bring pleasure and joy to your readers - it does and I (and I'm sure many others) are grateful to you for that. You do it so well that I thought you would be open to my comments and again I am grateful that you were. Looking forward to Friday!

Jody

* * *

Hi Jody.

Just about to leave for a Jobless ministry at church. (If you know anyone who's in transition or needs a support group, send them my way). Read your response quickly and I am glad you cooled down a bit.

I will respond more later but I just wanted to say that I enjoy our mutual admiration club that we just started. And again, I hope it's ok to put this online ... maybe not in my TGIF jokes (because it's too long) but in TravelingBoy.com which is an offshoot of my TGIF jokes.

Talk to you later!

Raoul

Hi Raoul,

Keep breathing now - loved all of this week's jokes and videos!!

Just got this video from a FB friend, made me laugh and cry a little too.

Stay cool and have a lovely weekend.

Jody

* * *

Thanks Jody,

Glad you liked last Friday's edition. It's true. The pressure's over.

The video you sent has been aired on TV too. Thanks for sending this to me. You were the only one who sent this isn't that strange?

I know I promised a lengthy response but I guess life is back to normal. I already forgot what the issues were. The stars and planets are back on course and we are all back in this wonderful experiment called LIFE.

Raoul