TGIF joke response
Some responses from Raoul's
You're repeating yourself
- the Men's vs. Women's Brains thing has been here before - in case you're interested
I find it just as insulting the second time around as the first. Poor little
women driven by emotion alone - no capability for rational thought brains always
buzzing with useless connections the need to decorate and annoyance with men!
Dumb stupid men just wanting to sit there thinking and feeling nothing while
the wifey nags. This thing is full of the stalest tropes about men and women.
These old tropes limit us all as individuals as partners as a society. I checked
Gungor's website, he has no training as a counselor from what I can see, no
scientific education, it seems to me that he is simply exploiting a good performance
persona and the most base and simple ideas about men and women to make money.
His ideas, as put forth in this video are intellectually lazy, emotionally bankrupt,
completely void of any kind of scientific knowledge and decidedly unfunny.
As I recall Raoul you have
a daughter. You might want to take second and third looks at some of the "humorous"
things you put up that are quite frankly misogynistic - they support the continuation
in our culture of seeing women as less than men which is going to limit the
opportunities available to her in life. Jokes are powerful things and should
be wielded thoughtfully - as in the first joke this week, is a man shooting
his wife really funny? I know that your religion plays an important part in
your life and probably in your attitudes towards women - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jul/12/jimmy-carter-womens-rights-equality
And while I'm at it the
Stevie Wonder "joke" is completely tasteless too.
Sorry if I'm bumming out
your week but I just couldn't do the "good girl" thing and sit here
quietly taking it this week. I've never commented before as I know that you
are a fundamentally good person and I didn't want to hurt your feelings but
I decided as a fundamentally good person you would want to know that many of
the jokes you put up support ideas and attitudes that are damaging to women
- and that extends to damage to the family of man does it not?
* * *
First of all, I appreciate your thoughtful and carefully
worded letter. You bring forth a perspective that I obviously did not see and
for that I do apologize. Actually, I am tempted to publish your comments as
it might make others aware of other people's viewpoints. Everyone else who commented
liked the jokes. You are the only one who resented them. Of course others may
not be as vocal as you. Some people I guess are not as sensitive or as expressive.
Re: Gungor's video
True, I've used him before but this video is a different version. He may not
have the Educational credentials but his viewpoints, I believe, are widespread
and supported in many psychological circles. My wife and many other women I've
talked to can attest to that. Perhaps the video did not explain it, but even
if one accepts these generalities, it does not mean one gender is superior to
the other. It only explains why we look or approach things differently. Therefore
one should not be insulted by it in any way. So I wouldn't have a problem telling
my daughter that these are behaviors that she should expect in life. We were
not made equal but we were made to complement each other.
I have learned over the years that humor takes on many forms.
Show me a purely politically correct person and I will show you a person devoid
of any humor. That means in any joke there will always be someone who will get
hit the wrong way.
If I may borrow from the famous slogan: "You can fool
(make them laugh) some of the people some of the time but you can't fool them
all of the time."
Despite the anger I caused you, I do hope you continue being
part of my weekly escape from reality. Again, thanks for pointing out my failures.
I really do.
I had just come on to send you a message to disregard my earlier one. While
I still believe the things I wrote to you who am I to say what you or your readers
should find funny? Absolutely no need for you to apologize - and believe it
or not that I took the time to write and send that means that I wasn't angry
and think quite highly of you - at this point in my life I generally don't have
the energy or desire to share my thoughts in this way unless I think the other
person will be open minded and interested in an honest exchange - thanks for
not disappointing. Your answer has raised some more questions/thoughts.
Yes there are many forms
of humor, including forms used deliberately to demean and belittle as well as
those that do it thoughtlessly - that's why it is such a powerful thing. And
why those of us who love and use humor should use it critically and carefully.
That first joke for example would have been funny if it stopped at the wife
asking if they should bring the plants - in right? Or was it the husband shooting
her that made if funny for you? For me that was where it stopped being funny
because as you know I don't find violence funny. The reason many people do find
it funny is because violence against women (especially by their husbands) is
culturally accepted - ouch.
As for Gungor, it seems
to me that he's ripped off his ideas from the feminist critic Luce Irigary who
wrote a brilliant book called "This Sex Which Is Not One" wherein
she explains the different between what she sees as the masculine and feminine
styles. Note please the word style which delineates a different approach/view
rather than an equal/non-equal dynamic or the fallacy of men and women actually
having different brains. I found Gungor's explanation of these two styles though
to be full of cliche and demeaning to both women and men. But if you're comfortable
having your sex explained as being incapable of having more than one thought
at a time and too immature to deal with emotions - again who am I? The men I
know though are so much more than that and I firmly believe that you are too.
With your "We were
not made equal but we were made to complement each other." I gather that
you did not agree with the editorial that President Carter wrote. When I was
attending NYU one of my classmates was Earl Green, an African American man who
grew up in Harlem in the 50's and is a Vietnam veteran. He was very interested
in feminist criticism and I asked him once why. He said that he believed that
sexism was the fundamental prejudice of human beings and that if we could as
a species overcome that we would be able to overcome all the other expressions
of prejudice and treat each other with the respect and love that we all deserve
in equal measure.
We are different, every
single one of us each man as different from the next man as the next woman -
a beautiful expression of plurality. For me that plurality without hierarchy
- a beautiful circle of inclusion is the great expression of God that man has
not yet been able to understand.
Raoul, there is no failing
on your part, you put a lot of time, effort and love into making something that
you hope will bring pleasure and joy to your readers - it does and I (and I'm
sure many others) are grateful to you for that. You do it so well that I thought
you would be open to my comments and again I am grateful that you were. Looking
forward to Friday!
* * *
Just about to leave
for a Jobless ministry at church. (If you know anyone who's in transition or
needs a support group, send them my way). Read your response quickly and I am
glad you cooled down a bit.
I will respond more
later but I just wanted to say that I enjoy our mutual admiration club that
we just started. And again, I hope it's ok to put this online ... maybe not
in my TGIF jokes (because it's too long) but in TravelingBoy.com which is an
offshoot of my TGIF jokes.
Talk to you later!
Keep breathing now - loved
all of this week's jokes and videos!!
Just got this video
from a FB friend, made me laugh and cry a little too.
Stay cool and have a lovely
* * *
Glad you liked last
Friday's edition. It's true. The pressure's over.
The video you sent has
been aired on TV too. Thanks for sending this to me. You were the only one who
sent this isn't that strange?
I know I promised a
lengthy response but I guess life is back to normal. I already forgot what the
issues were. The stars and planets are back on course and we are all back in
this wonderful experiment called LIFE.