Another name for paradise is: Manitowish Waters, Wisconsin where I spent the last six days on holiday. My daughter, her family and I stayed at the home of her husband’s cousin Mike. He and his wife Nancy have lived in this wonderful home for decades. Mike cooks everything from soup to nuts as long as anyone is hungry. Everything starts with his first cup of coffee in the morning! Without it, “The Little Engine that Could” doesn’t go. But once that first cup of coffee hits his gullet, he’s banging pots and pans all over the place and everything he cooks is heavenly.

Mike and Nancy have hunted for antiques and other oddities for years. Everywhere you look in the house you see something different or unique and many of their treasures will bring back many of your fondest memories starting with the front porch. The window on one side has no curtain, but a curtain rod that holds a valance that is made from seventeen old metal bug spray cans! On the other side of the porch is a shelf filled with every different size and color cans of bug killer you have ever seen.

There are advertising posters in every room of the house and the colors still remain vivid after many decades.  Each bed in the house has its own beautiful quilt and they are both colorful and unique. They are almost too beautiful to pull back to go to sleep. But once you do, you’re off to the world of “Wynken, Blynken and Nod.” A bedtime story I told my children about three children who sailed away amongst the stars in a beautiful red boat shaped like an old wooden shoe.

The kitchen has a small farm house table and the chairs are painted in the most beautiful French blue and cream color. If this table could talk, I wonder what stories it would tell. I wonder how many people fell in love at this table, or how much joy, laughter and sadness were shared, all the family celebrations over its long lifetime, not to mention all the wonderful meals and scrumptious desserts that most have been eaten there.

The house is on the Manitowish River and Mike has a pontoon boat that is like a “Giant Couch.” We all relaxed, talked and fished almost every day we were there. My grandchildren Emily and Kai caught and released their shared of fish. The river was calm and beautiful to be on no matter what time of day. There were small aircraft overhead and you could tour in a bi-plane if you wished.

I have been on many vacations throughout my life, but none of them compare to the time I spent in Manitowish Waters, Wisconsin. Peace, tranquility and beauty were everywhere you looked. There are a million trees there and the color green comes in so many different shades that it is absolutely intoxicating to look at.

The only thing that could have made our trip better is if the autumn leaves were falling.

The post Vacationing In Paradise appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Most young people don’t understand what they’re getting themselves into when they start thinking about starting a family. We have to have licenses for all sorts of things like, driving, teaching, hunting, fishing, doctor, and dentistry. When it comes to driving a car, you need to have 200 hours of driving school and you have be pass a written test in order to drive.

There are no such requirements for becoming a parent. I’m seriously thinking about creating a brochure with some tips. Like; poop comes in 39 colors, you must feed a baby every 4 hours hour’s (whether you like it or not). They are going to spit up and throw up all over you, you’re going to have to run the wash every day. Intimacy as you know it will almost stop completely. Once they start crawling they will get into places you never dreamt they would. And then, there’s all the trips to the Pediatrician (who needs a license).

When they get to be about two years old, they will go to day care. You’ll have to drive them there and pick them up and it costs a lot of money. Then there’s grammar school, middle school, high school and college. The cost of all these things almost always requires a second income. For the women, that means you get to do the lion’s share of everything, because you can.

About the time they get to be 18 or so, you’ll wish they’d come home and tell you they’ve found a job (out of town) that comes with room and board! YOU WILL HELP THEM PACK IMMEDIATELY AND DRIVE THEM THERE IF NECESSARY! There will be days where you’ll want to scratch your name off their birth certificates too. Be ready.

So maybe you should go baby sit for someone else’s kids for about 3 days, to make sure what you considering is the right thing to do. Or you could do the egg test. You take an egg and it’s your baby. You must sit down with your egg every four hours for 20 minute feedings, and you cannot leave your egg alone, you must have someone baby sit it should you leave. And if you drop your egg, you have killed your baby.

Every one I’ve ever ask to try this experiment has decided against being a parent at that time, generally within a few hours. If you ask a 12 year old boy or girl if they’re ready to be a parent, the boy will say absolutely not, but the girl will say of course. No one is ready to be a parent at 12! Your body is not even finished growing.

If you’re lucky you’ll find someone who brings something into a relationship that you admire. Someone who finished school, has a job, has respect for others, admires you and has similar values. Don’t be in a hurry to have children. Enjoy each other and don’t get into debt. Have lots of fun together before you start a family. Your children will be the big winners if you wait.

The post To Be Or Not To Be – A Parent appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Unless and until you have experienced the act of being raped, you cannot possibly understand the magnitude of how it can affect the rest of a woman’s life.

To follow is the Merriam Webster Dictionary definition of rape: unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. It is considered an outrageous violation to a woman.

Hypothetical situation #1.
A husband and wife are asleep and two men break in and tie up the husband and both men raped the wife. In six months, which of them will be suffering the most because of this situation?

Hypothetical situation #2.
A husband and wife are asleep and two men break in and tie up the wife and both men rape the husband. In six months, which of them will be suffering the most because of this situation?

If my husband and I were the victims in both scenarios, it would be my husband who would continue to suffer the consequences of this horrific situation for the rest of his life. It is possible that it would most likely destroy our marriage because of this incident. Even though I did not invite, create, provoke or contribute to this heinous and violent crime.

My perception of this assault to my body is as follows: This was an act of violence committed against me that involves a part of my body that is most private, that I reserve only for my life partner and no other. And in both cases, this situation came to us. We did not seek it out, we did not desire it. It invaded our lives and made both of us victims forever.

The incident would most likely be reported to the Police if the rape occurred with the wife, but may not be reported to the Police in the case of the husband being raped. The reason for this is shame. Something you did not invite, nor want has created shame and a stigma that may never resolve itself for either victim. And if the perpetrators were prosecuted the female victim would be violated again at trial because it is generally thought that women bring this sort of incident on themselves.

Monogamy is a gift to marriage that both partners give each other. In the case of rape to the wife, it is possible that the marriage would completely fall apart because of the incident. Something violent, unwanted and undesired has crept into your lives and will color your lives forever.

Women are about 4 times more likely to report rape than men. However, only about 40% of women report verses 10% of men. And in the case of affairs, men have a significant difficulty when their wives have been penetrated by someone else, but don’t really get too upset about the emotional component in the affair. Women don’t, of course, like it when their husbands have sexual affairs, but they are significantly more concerned about the emotional connection that their husbands have with the other woman than the sexual component.

If we extrapolate to the case of rape, women are less likely to see their husbands differently in the second scenario than their husbands are to see them in the first scenario. However, the difficulty of not being able to protect the other person ways more heavily on men based on how the genders are socialized.

When does the victim become victorious? By forgiving yourself for something that was completely out of your control and deciding to move forward.

The post Rape and Its Consequences appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Young people are not taught today about the importance of earning and spending money and most of the decisions they make are just not sound and can cause terrible problems.  It’s hard to stay in love when your pay check is spent before you receive it.  And, then there’s the bumps that life can send your way that can disrupt any couple or family.

Spending too much on a car, housing, a wedding, a Honeymoon or buying a house full of furniture on credit can be costly.  If there isn’t enough money in your budget to pay your bills, you are cheating yourself by not managing your money well.

Everyone starts out struggling, but there are ways to have fun on a budget like hosting a Pot Luck.  Each person brings something to share and you spend an afternoon or evening with friends or family and everyone leaves feeling great and not in debt.

Impulse spending and overspending on things that we actually don’t need has been known to destroy relationships.  Asking yourself if you want it or need it makes perfect sense.  And then, there’s the 24, 48, & 72 hour rule that my father taught my husband and I.

If you are thinking about purchasing something that is under $500.00, you have to discuss the purchase and think about it for at least 24 hours.  If the item is over $1,000.00, you must consider buying it for at least 48 hours before moving forward.  And, if it’s over $1,500.00, you must consider the purchase for at least 72 hours.   If you stop and think about what you are considering to purchase things can change dramatically.

Consulting with people who are debt free and have made sound financial decisions all of their lives is the most sensible thing you can do.   If you use a credit card, you should plan on paying the bill in full when you receive it.  The interest rates are up to 28% on most cards!  So, just because something is ON SALE, doesn’t mean you should buy it because paying 28% extra in interest is just plain crazy.

My father also taught us the importance of saving.  When we had a few extra dollars we saved money.  And, once it went in the bank – it stayed there.  Life is too complicated today to waste money and every dollar you earn should be doing something that makes sense.

Retirement is right around the corner whether you realize it or not!  And, unless you’re planning on living under a bridge in a warm climate, you need to start saving NOW.  If your employer matches your 401K contribution, put in as much as you can spare because you are saving money on taxes now PLUS, you are receiving FREE money from your employer.

Today, it costs $340.00 a month to smoke and $70.00 a month to drink Starbucks Coffee.  Just those two items equals $410.00 a month or $4,920.00 a year!  I didn’t mention eating fast foods or drinking in a bar but if I had, I think the number would more than double!  This amount of money can make a car payment and pay your car insurance too!

A short time sacrifice for a long term goal is a winner every time!  Think about it!

The post The 24, 48 and 72 Hour Rule appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Our kitchen was about twenty-five foot square and our large table was right in the middle, and my parents, Sister’s Petty and Mary and my Brother Bobby, met together every night for dinner at six o’clock sharp.

Coming through the kitchen door, saying “Hi Mom,” and throwing your shoes and jacket on the hall tree was the order of the day.  Most days there was the smell of freshly baked cookies in the air and that smell was like getting a great big hug.  There was always milk to drink and if I didn’t know better, I’d say we had our very own cow in the backyard, because of the amount of milk we all drank which only sold in pints or quarts at that point in time.  I still remember the sound of the milk man’s truck early in the morning with his clinking bottles in his wire rack.

After school my mother would ask about school or sports which is one of my fondest memories.  I loved talking to my mom because she was so smart and kind.  My mother’s friends called me, “Little Miss United Nations” because I had friends from all over the world come home with me to do homework or play.  I did not know what that title meant until years later.

No matter what you were doing or where you were, you always came home by 5:45 in time for dinner.  There was no such thing as a television, no frozen T.V. dinner’s, no aluminum foil, no laundromat, no air-conditioners, and I think I remember when the “Jolly Green Giant” was born!  When a local bowling alley added air-conditioning, us kids watched a lot of bowling to cool down at night.  That plus sitting on the stoop at night talking was a treat.

Sometimes at dinner, my mom would hum, “Mable, Mable, sweet and able, get your elbows off the table” if any of us put our elbows on the table.  We lived in a beautiful basement apartment of a three story brown stone in Chicago and the students who’d come from all over the country to go to various colleges lived upstairs.

All of those young students adored my parents because they were home sick and, we subscribed to the “There’s always room for one more” rule.  They’d stop by in the mornings for a cup of cocoa or coffee my mom made every day of the week.  My mother would listen to every one’s troubles or the hopes and dreams they had.  She’d always give out hugs or advice, gave aid and comfort or punch their sympathy card if that was what they needed.

My mom and all the women in my family are good listeners who always seem to find the time to just listen.  It must be an innate trait because we all have that ability. Throughout my life, and no matter how young I was, total strangers would tell me their most private stories and memories.

My mom worked nonstop every day of the week.  She never complained and loved every minute of her day, and I do that to this day.  She would invite her many friends stop in for lunch and she out lived all of her friends.  She told me it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My dad would relieve mom on Saturdays and we’d spend the whole day going all over Chicago.  My mother didn’t cook on Saturdays because around four o’clock she’d take our orders and write a note and I’d walk down to the local Hot Dog stand and place the order.  We’d all eat hot dogs and fries Saturday evenings which was followed by Root Beer floats made by my dad.  He called them Black Cows.  Life was good.

Sundays my dad would come around to all of our bedrooms and give us options for breakfast and we’d generally pick his famous French toast with crisp bacon and I was called “the bacon snitcher!”  He cooked breakfast to relieve my mother from her busy schedule.  She’d relax and drink her coffee and read the Sunday papers.  All of us kids would walk to church and the rest of the day was reserved for laziness and reading the funnies when we came back from church.  We all loved being together.

The radio played a big part of our lives back then.  After school there was The Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, Flash Gordon and the Creaking Door to listen to.  At night there was Abbott & Costello, Bob Hope, Jack Benny, The Marx Brothers and Amos and Andy who rounded out the group.  In 1947, my aunt Ollie bought us a television set.  Oh boy, did that open up a can of worms.  Our whole family looked forward to many interesting shows and I will never forget Kukla, Fran & Ollie or Captain Kangaroo, two of the first shows directed at kids.

My mother lost her mom when she was only nine years old.  Her father was a Scottish sea captain but a tyrannical parent.  She vowed to never treat her children the way she was if she ever became a parent.  Both her and my aunt Ollie left Canada two years apart and came to Chicago to get away from their father and they lived happily ever after.

My mother met my dad a few months after she arrived and the rest is history.  There’s was truly a love story and both of them took advantage of the opportunities that came their way.

My childhood home was filled with wisdom, understanding, compassion, empathy, affection and love.  I have been one of the most fortunate people in the world.  I married my best friend, raised my children, who actually like me, and been surrounded by wonderful friends throughout my life.  I am truly blessed and very grateful.

The post I Remember Mama appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I have a friend who took himself to the Emergency Room yesterday because he was having heart palpitations. This has happened to him in the past, but this time something must have been different because he went to the hospital.

He was seen fairly fast and they worked him up, did a health history, EKG and blood work. He spent almost seven hours there and they recommended that he stay there overnight for observation because his blood pressure was quite high which he said NO to.   So they prescribed a higher dose of blood pressure medication for him to begin taking. The problem is my friend hates taking medication of any kind!

Wearing shoes while crossing a hot street works, using glasses to read works, and wearing warm clothing when its 30 degrees below zero works well too. You can get along without using these things, but there are consequences and some of them are dire, like death!

My friend is happily married, has wonderful children, grandchildren, siblings, and many friends that would be devastated if he did not do everything in his power to keep traveling through his life for many, many years to come.

In the past, people died from high blood pressure because it went undetected. We have so many advances today in medicine and I for one take my medications faithfully each morning. If I died tomorrow, I am ready because I have had the most amazing life. I know my friend feels the same way, but helping your body to continue doing its job seems like a small thing to do in the scheme of things.

SO MY SWEET FRIEND, TAKE YOUR MEDICATION

AS PRESCRIBED ON PAIN OF A KICK IN YOUR PANTS!

The post To Take a Pill or Not Take a Pill, That is the Question. appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Every day whether I want to or not, I ask myself if I still have all my marbles. I had lots of them when I was young, but I kept them in a tiny little leather bag that I carried to school every day. Weather permitting, I would try to win someone else’s cat’s eye, boulder, shooter, biggie or aggie if I could.

But the kind of marbles I’m talking about now, are the kind that roll around in your brain. Sometimes, a brain fart can occur without warning and it can really throw you for a loop!  If you are with friends your own age, they just wait for it to pass, because it happens to them all the time. Generally, you recover fast, if you’re lucky.

After I turned 40, I noticed I’d be driving somewhere and I would “temporarily forget” where the heck I was going! But somehow I always seemed to figure it out. At that time, I had a bunch of kids, and ran a business with my husband, and when I think back, I wonder how I actually did everything I needed to do each day without collapsing each night. Luckily, the night always refreshed both of us and to his day, I’m always raring to go each morning!

I have loved every day of my life. I married my best friend, adored all my children and my amazing friends. Each of us helped one another navigate our lives. I have lost many of my friends and grieved with them through the loss of a child or spouse.

Developing dementia or Alzheimer’s is one of the worst things that can happen to someone and it also affects the entire family.  If you’re lucky it starts out later in life but it can progress over many years. It’s hard for me to not try and finish a friend’s sentence because they are struggling with their memory. In the very beginning stages, people know that they’re slipping, and in the end they don’t remember family members. The movie “Notebook”, comes to mind.

Just being able to recall memories from own your life is amazing because it can really enhance the quality of your life. Reminiscing together with friends and family is a gift and being able to continue making memories is a big bonus! As for me, writing this blog plus the other activities I love doing are what keeps me moving forward. And so far, I have not been running after my own marbles!

The post Do You Have All Your Marbles? appeared first on Traveling Archive.

You take you were ever you go.  If you haven’t left your past behind it can actually precede you and impede the quality of your life.  If you are “playing” the same old record and repeating or reliving your past, you are sabotaging your future.  All of us have friends who have told the same old story over and over again, which is a form of self-victimization.

We all have a back story and many of us may have been hurt in some fashion and maybe even victimized.  When does the victim become victorious?  If you have been a victim, you can free yourself by leaving the past where it belongs, which is, in the past.

I have friends that retell stories of all types of abuse and after a few times, I suggest that they record their story and play it back to themselves after listening to it several times.  Once we hear ourselves the way our friends have, there is a chance that they will change their future by moving forward instead of “treading water” which only keeps your head just above it, but going nowhere.

A question I ask friends who repeat negative things is: “What’s the payoff for you continuing to talk or repeat this behavior?”  Because there is a payoff and if you understand what it is yourself, you have a good chance of changing the behavior to improve your future.

Everyone should live happily ever after just like in all the fairy tales.  But the one thing they left out of the stories was this; you are responsible for the quality of your life and it’s time to become your own best friend.  Relate to people that are goal orientated and want you and themselves to be successful.

And, if there is such a thing as a fairy Godmother, please remember that it is actually YOU.   Believe or not, you can make all your dreams come true.  It does take hard work and dedication, but I love happy endings.  Don’t you?

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.  If you are at peace you are living in the present.

PS: The best person to forgive you is YOU.

The post Getting Past Your Past appeared first on Traveling Archive.

I am a native of planet Earth (by way of Chicago) and I was raised by parents who taught my siblings and me to always take time to count our blessings.  The following ideals are things I picked up along the way and worth remembering.

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Live one day at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you, are so many answers.
Understand, have courage and be strong.

Do not limit yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Gratitude is the greatest attribute you can have.

Nothing wastes more time than worrying.
The only things you get to keep are the things you give away.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little goes a long way.
Friendships are a wise investment.
Life’s treasures are people… together.
Realize that’s it’s never too late.

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Live everyday as if it was your last.
Take time to wish upon a star.
Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

The post Some Things to Remember appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Did you know that all of us have a pair of antennas? Yep, we do. They are invisible and they are located on the top, front of our heads just like ants. No one can actually see them, but we can feel them. And, they’re never wrong.

When your antennas start vibrating you should listen to them because they are telling you everything you need to know about what’s going on around you. And… if it feels like a trap, it is a trap! So, pay attention because YOU can save YOU a lot of trouble if you do. Better to be safe than sorry comes to mind.

As we mature, we accumulate information along the way. It is stored somewhere in our brains for future use. The problem begins when we overrule our alarm system and ignore what our antennas are telling us to do or not do.

We are animals after all and we have great instincts. These instincts tell you when you should stand and fight or when to take flight and these warnings can save our lives. We all know someone who just knew something was off and took some action that literally saved them from something horrible.

In the first few minutes we spend with someone we’ve never met before, you are processing information that we are receiving from their body language as well as what they are saying verbally. If “things” seem OFF, just excuse yourself and walk away. Just think of the time you’ll save. The next person you talk with could be someone you’d really enjoy as a friend for the rest of your life.

Several years ago at 3:30 in the morning “something” woke me up. I lifted my head up and seen a man standing in my bedroom door. Without thinking, I lowered my voice like a man and asked very loudly, “Who are you?” The sound of my voice actually scared me and him too! He ran away and I went after him! It was only later when I turned on the lights down stairs that I realized I had been robbed. If this man came closer to me while I was in bed, the story ends in a whole different way, so I’m grateful for my antennas!

The warning’s we get can come whether you’re speaking with a man or woman. It’s wonderful when you run into a “soul mate” along the way because sometimes they become an important part of your life. Remember, there’s no friend like an old friend for sure but it’s never too late to find a new friend.

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