Home Life Lessons Dear Heather Getting Past Your Past

Getting Past Your Past

Heather Kobler

the hold of the past

You take you were ever you go.  If you haven’t left your past behind it can actually precede you and impede the quality of your life.  If you are “playing” the same old record and repeating or reliving your past, you are sabotaging your future.  All of us have friends who have told the same old story over and over again, which is a form of self-victimization.

We all have a back story and many of us may have been hurt in some fashion and maybe even victimized.  When does the victim become victorious?  If you have been a victim, you can free yourself by leaving the past where it belongs, which is, in the past.

I have friends that retell stories of all types of abuse and after a few times, I suggest that they record their story and play it back to themselves after listening to it several times.  Once we hear ourselves the way our friends have, there is a chance that they will change their future by moving forward instead of “treading water” which only keeps your head just above it, but going nowhere.

A question I ask friends who repeat negative things is: “What’s the payoff for you continuing to talk or repeat this behavior?”  Because there is a payoff and if you understand what it is yourself, you have a good chance of changing the behavior to improve your future.

Everyone should live happily ever after just like in all the fairy tales.  But the one thing they left out of the stories was this; you are responsible for the quality of your life and it’s time to become your own best friend.  Relate to people that are goal orientated and want you and themselves to be successful.

And, if there is such a thing as a fairy Godmother, please remember that it is actually YOU.   Believe or not, you can make all your dreams come true.  It does take hard work and dedication, but I love happy endings.  Don’t you?

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.  If you are at peace you are living in the present.

PS: The best person to forgive you is YOU.


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One Comment

  1. Stevie B

    April 20, 2018 at 4:12 am

    I think this is one of your best.

    People carry their garbage way too long.


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