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Raoul’s Two Cents: July 26, 2024

Conspiracy Theories

My computer’s sick. I don’t think it’s a virus that it caught. Neither is it spyware. I think it’s because of turning it off and inadvertently disconnecting apps from their execute commands. Waiting for my computer to move has made be very sluggish. It’s like watching a plant grow. A friend shared that he’s also sluggish. Did Bill Gates just spray the atmosphere with sleeping pills? I can’t think of a better time to talk about conspiracy theories.

Conspiracy theories. You love ’em or hate ’em — they’re all around us. Here are just some of them:

  • Did you hear about the Russians using some mind altering sound waves to disable their target?
  • How about the green aliens who have a base in Antarctica and are already living among us?
  • Oh, and don’t buy chicken! There’s something they’ve injected that’ll kill ya! And they’re not real chicken meat anymore — they’re grown in labs and the FDA approved their production for human consumption.
  • Here’s a good one — Biden’s already dead. He never signed that letter to discontinue his presidential bid. Even his staff were unaware of this dastardly coup.
  • Donald Trump wasn’t really shot and that he planned it and spilled ketchup on his ear. Donald’s a liar, a rapist, a failed businessman, an opportunist. He’s made deals with Russia, North Korea and China. Prevent him from winning the election at all cost!
  • Kamala isn’t really black. Her mom is from India, her Dad is only half black and he was a marxist. Kamala was a socialite who was a mistress of Montel Williams and Mayor Willie Brown Jr. In fact, she “slept” her way up the political ladder. Have you heard her speak? She’s so disorganized her staff quit on her. She failed the bar. She failed to pass a single legislature the whole time she represented California. She was Biden’s border czar and allowed 20 million illegals into the United States. All of these are being buried by Google and other media.
  • Of course you know that Microsoft, Facebook, Google, Amazon, Twitter are tracking your every move. Big tech knows your social security number, what you want to eat, and if you prefer Coke over Pepsi.
  • The Lunar Landing was fake.
  • 9-11 was staged. No plane hit the Pentagon. There was gold hidden underneath the towers.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we self-doubt? I believe these theories are borne on the constant lies coming from supposed authorities. What can we learn from people who grew up with the constant changing winds of health advice like asbestos and sugar being beneficial in the 50s and decades later being cancerous? Did you believe Dr. Atkins? How did you feel when he died from his recommended diet? It’s almost funny if it wasn’t true. The famous health trainer, Richard Simmons, died this month. He didn’t even reach 80. He wrote a book “No time to diet” … I guess it was time. Live and let diet, as James Bond used to say.

Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). Do you think these strings of deception are part of his plan for the world’s destruction? When society can no longer trust and we break up into factions — is this his master plan? If it is, it seems to be working.

It’ll be interesting to see how much malarkey will be spread as we come closer to the elections. How many friendships will be destroyed? Let’s pray for cooler minds, compassion and grace.

What’s that? Did you say anything Alexa? — “speak louder and enunciate my words”? Hey, what’s with all those vans parked outside with their spinning radar antenna? Drop all your plans! Head for the hills! We’re all gonna die! The world is flat and Batman is really Superman!

But nah! It’s not that bad. We’re better than that. Never lose hope!

TGIF people!


JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Chester of La Habra, CA

Original art by Raoul Pascual.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

Thanks to Vincent of New Jersey

Thanks to Sharon of Connecticut

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with this.

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5 Comments

  1. Larry

    August 1, 2024 at 4:26 am

    Your computer is sick. I am still back in the days of DOS. I long for Word Perfect.

    Reply

  2. Ed

    August 1, 2024 at 4:27 am

    FUN. Just forwarded it to many!

    Reply

  3. Hilda

    August 1, 2024 at 4:28 am

    Except that of the bulleted items there are glaringly a couple not a theory but fact! 🫢

    Reply

  4. Noel

    August 1, 2024 at 4:29 am

    Here in the Philippines, we have our share of conspiracy theories.,. LOL!!!

    Reply

  5. Vanessa

    August 1, 2024 at 4:32 am

    Good one Raoul, although I always enjoy them . This is the first time I’ve had a chance to read one and three or four months. You are a brilliant writer.!!!!!

    Reply

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