The Problem With Speaking Up

By Raoul Pascual

Raoul’s Two Cents: May 24, 2024

Comedy Show

I didn’t plan to do anything exciting last Friday but I glanced over our living room table and on top of it were 2 tickets I had purchased for a comedy show to help raise funds for my grandson’s basketball team. I looked at the date and, to my surprise, it was happening that evening. So I told my wife to rush home so we could make it on time.

ARRIVING ON TIME

We’ve never been to a “real” comedy night, didn’t know what to expect and didn’t know what to wear. So we put on something a little above casual in light colors. We rush to the venue with moments to spare. But there is hardly anyone there. Crickets are chirping in the background.

“Is this where the Comedy Show is supposed to …”

“Yeah, yeah,” said the waitress, “sit anywhere you want.”

We look around and there are 20 round tables that could each sit 12 people and we sit at the front table to make sure we’d see everything. Big mistake! Because later, as the room starts to fill up, every single one of the other guests are Hispanic … wearing black shirts and jeans. With our Asian features and pastel outfits, we stick out like 2 dummy doves in a Raven Convention. No one else dares to sit with us. We have this huge round table smack in front all to ourselves.

We look at the menu: “Excuse me, what is this Ahi Tuna with Crispy Wontons?” “Oh, where is that in the menu?” asked this young waitress who seems to be brand new to her profession. We point at the picture. “Oh that’s Ahi Tuna dressed with soy sauce, sesame oil …” I look at my wife and we are laughing inside because the young miss was simply reading what was printed on the menu. Smart girl … didn’t even need to take your PHD for that! We decide we want to reach home alive so we order something less exotic. (Kidding aside, the food was actually pretty good. We cleaned the plate down to the last potato fry.)

I think the room was packed but I dare not stare at the crowd. I try to be as inconspicuous as possible. My good ol’ Mama used to say: “when you’re about to be devoured by hungry lions —don’t stare the beasts in the eye but slowly inch your way towards the exit.”

THE SHOW BEGINS

It’s way past the time the show was supposed to start and we are contemplating leaving when the emcee swaggers to the microphone: “Good evening ladeeees and gentlemeeeen! How about a nice round of applause?!” He gets a decent clap. “Aw, c’mon! You can do better than thaaat!” Another decent applause from the impatient crowd. Not a good start for a Comedy Show. This is the worst night of my life. The angry crowd will release their anger to the scapegoats stupidly sitting in front of the room.

But it turns out that the emcee is also a stand-up comedian … a pretty good one too. and he does a good job breaking the ice and appeasing the natives. I could have enjoyed it more if he toned down his use of profanity. Then one, two … four more comedians do their act. Each has his unique style and they are actually funny. But again, too many expletives and several sexual innuendos.

Then Sebastian Cetina, the guy whose face is on the ticket, comes up stage. He scans the roaring crowd and his eyes settles on our lonely table. “Oh dear … here we go … we’re gonna be shamed to death” I say under my breath, “this is where my life insurance will come in handy.”

“What’re these Asians doing in a place like this?” He is kind enough to ask our permission … then he throws a couple of ethnic puns. I should be upset but this guy is churning up these jokes at the spur of the moment — not an easy thing to do. And boy he is funny. And, you know what? We are okay with it. We feel we are part of the family now. We are laughing with everybody else.

Just when we think it is time to leave, an unexpected black dude jumps on stage with the fanfare of bass guitars — only those weren’t bass guitars — it’s his voice! This guy blows the other stand ups away with his amazing vocal talent. He mimics the sound of drum beats (singing at the same time), twanging guitars, jet planes zooming in and out, car engine murmurs, etc. He reminds me of that black dude, Michael Winslow, in the 80s Police Academy movie. His vocal octave ranges from the low guttural voice of Barry White all the way to high-pitched Minnie Riperton and the Beegees. He has all of us in stitches.

As I hold my wife’s hands walking towards the car, we are pleasantly surprised that the evening turned out to be one that we will never forget. That little donation for a basketball fund raiser was well worth it.

LESSONS

I hope you don’t mind my sharing our fun date. We learned a lot about the Hispanic culture that evening – a very sexually charged culture: where kids get married as early as 16; where many marriages last for maybe only 10 years. Sebastian was blown away when we told him we were married for 37 years. We empathized with their growing up with drunk parents and being high all the time. I know they were joking but I believe there was a tinge of truth from their private lives.

Los Angeles is truly a melting pot of cultures. There’s so much we can learn from each other. Black, white, brown, yellow, red, green … we are all part of God’s family. To be isolated to just one’s culture is to be missing on the bounty of ideas and relationships waiting outside our door.

TGIF people! Remember our heroes this coming Memorial Day!

“ Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot” — Charlie Chaplin

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” — Mel Brooks

“A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples.” – John 13:34-35