Difference Between Right and Left

Raoul’s Two Cents: April 5, 2024

Mechanical Failure

I was worried about my friend “Barry” who needed to get a new car battery. I was also watching some infuriating videos about the politicians in different parts of the country. I fell asleep. Then I woke up from a silly dream that was influenced by my friend and the videos; so I thought I’d share it with you. Honest! This situation really was in my dream. Hope you like it.

* * START of DREAM * * *

Barry’s car breaks down in the middle of the road and he calls out for help. Adang Sheet, the mechanic from Triple-Bypass A is the first to show up.

Barry: Thanks for coming! I’m glad I subscribed to your Free Car Assistance Program. But before you work your magic, I want you to know that I have a very tight budget. So knowing this, can you still get my car to start running?

Adang: Sure can pardner, they don’t call me “Adang Shifty Sheet” for nothin’.

Hearing that nickname, Barry gets very anxious about the idiot before him but he lets Adang figure out what’s wrong.

A few minutes later …

Adang: Well, looks like you have a dead battery, mister. I have a BRAND NEW one in my truck. I can sell it to you for $500.

Barry: $500?!? Batteries in Walmart only cost $300 at the most!

Adang: Sure they do. But they don’t sparkle as good as mine. I painted ‘em muhself.

Barry: I don’t really care for sparkles. I just want my car to run.

Adang: Tell you what, since you look like an honest feller, I can sell it to you for $350. It’ll save you a trip to Walmart.

Barry: Gee thanks for the offer but I can’t afford anything over $100 now. Do you have any other solution?

Realizing he’s dealing with a smart man, Adang says: Lesse now, I can sell you an OLD battery at the back. I’ll sell it for $100. It doesn’t charge anymore but I can exchange it and at least get your car running fer ya!

Barry: So you could get my car running if we use an old battery?

Adang: Sure can.

Barry: So why can’t you use MY old battery instead of YOUR old battery to get my car running?

Adang looks at Barry with disgust and, without another word, he jumps the car and Adang successfully starts Barry’s car.

Barry: Thanks for getting my car running again. Sorry you didn’t make any money this time.

Adang: Before you go, can I ask a little donation for the LMA, which is a non-profit organization I just started?

Barry: LMA? What does that stand for?

Adang: Lousy Mechanics of America — someone’s gotta stand up for people like me.

Barry laughs uncontrollably while Adamn wonders what’s so funny.

Barry: You aren’t very good at this, are you?

Adang: I guess not. That’s why I’m the president of the LMA.

Barry (laughing even more): Well, you’re a good mechanic but a lousy salesman … but you’re kinda honest, and you’ve got ambition … I’ve got connections in the government. How’d you like a change of career? How’d you like to run for the Senate?!?

Adang: Dang! Hot digity dawg! Let’s go pardner!

And that’s how Adang wound up in the Senate floor.

* * END of DREAM * * *

When you think of many politicians, do you wonder if they got their start as a member of the LMA? I certainly do … but that’s just me.

TGIF people!

Raoul

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” — Albert Einstein

“Stupidity is personal achievement which transcends national boundaries.” — Albert Einstein

“An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.” — Simon Cameron

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Thanks to Butch of Amarillo, Texas

Original art by Raoul Pascual.

Video of the Week

Thanks to Butch of Amarillo, Texas

Parting Shots

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Thanks to Drew of Anaheim, CA

Thanks to Wyne of Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Maling of New Manila, Philippines

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

I found these:

My good friend (and jokester) Terry and I came up with this.

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