Oliver was crossing the street Sunday night. Suddenly, with his peripheral vision, he noticed a huge object headed straight for him --- a brand new Toyota Tacoma with the headlights turned off was about to run him down. With seconds to spare he twisted his body just enough to put both of his hands on the hood of the truck. The impact propelled him on top of the truck and then his body rolled over to the pavement.

Thursdays are my busiest days. It really distracts my flow of thought when people call me on Thursdays for the most trivial of reasons. So it really bothered me when Tonka and Tinker were unusually noisy today. Our corgis were in a Thursday barking mood. The slightest sound, would trigger one to yip! and the other would yap! and the cycle would continue forever. If I grow deaf early I will blame them.

These past weeks, with my wife gone visiting her Mom, I’ve been walking our dogs around the neighborhood. Since then, I’ve gotten to know my neighbors so much more. If you ever want to run for office, owning a dog is one way of meeting people and getting votes. I get all the local news --- crime, home repairs, trusted handymen, best places to eat, and the pooping habits of pets.

There was plenty of cheering, meowing, chirping, and woofing in Orlando, Florida this past March 23rd. The American Pet Products Association (APPA) and Pet Industry Distributors Association (PIDA) announced the winners of the 13th annual New Products Showcase Awards.

I saw this video commercial of this shaver and this bald guy saying that it was so easy to maintain his baldness with that gadget. So I went online and bought the cheapest rotary electric shaver. I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. I didn’t know you’re only supposed to use that shaver to maintain an existing bald head. So when I tried it on my overgrown buzz cut the shaver got stuck and literally tried to yank the individual follicles. I was thinking of retreating and doing more research but when I saw the unbalanced hairless patch on my front lobe, I knew I had reached the point of no return.

I heard a harsh bark coming from the back of the house. Sounded like an old dog straining to catch attention. What I saw was disheartening. Artie had a tight noose around her neck. Her gray-white fur was muddied and there were patches of exposed skin. Her staring eyes wondered if I was friend or foe. She cowered when I approached and moved as far away from me as the chain would allow. Slowly, I reached out my hand and pat her on the head. Eventually, I started to give her a good massage. All the while, I could see she was trying to process this strange sensation --- as if, for the first time, someone actually recognized she was an animal who had dignity.

We have 3 cats and 2 dogs in our home and those animals shed lots and lots of hair. And the hair (especially the soft cottony ones) are so light they go airborne like the Rono virus. Guess who vacuums the dander? My daughter who brought in the 3 cats? No way! My wife who adopted the 2 corgi dogs? Never! It's poor, forsaken, forgotten, unlucky me.

There was a young man who was drafted into the Army to fight in Vietnam. He spent several years in San Francisco after his discharge before returning to visit his family in the Bronx.

The other day I was thinking of a non-existent color.

I'm as bored as an Amish electrician.