The next T-Boy writers' poll is devoted to THE LAST PLACE in the world where you would NEVER want to visit, or revisit. The instructions were simple: it could be a nation, state, region or province, a city or town, or a place; like that fisherman's bar in Valparaiso, where I was once thrown out of for expressing my distaste of the Chilean dictator, Augusto José Ramón Pinochet Ugarte.

But it's not fair! Did you realize that women have 2 birthdays a year … and one of them is Valentine's Day? And for the married Mrs., they have a third birthday. What about us men? Don't we deserve a rose too? Why do we guys have to always (not only remember these special occasions but also) come up with a surprise to prove our undying love? Where's the equality? Where's the justice?

When I heard that the Los Angeles Zoo had finally reopened a few weeks ago, I knew it was time for a return visit to one of my favorite local attractions. I then made advanced online reservations, which are currently required for all guests, including members. My getaway began when me and the family walked beneath the giant, iconic metal …