"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We’re here in Hollywood California to celebrate the biggest gathering of Narcissists and Prima Donnas in the world --- Welcome to the Oscars! Yay!! I’m the one and only, Inigo Montoya de Los Angeles the Third, and I’m your host for tonight! Approaching the red carpet in her fuel efficient, recently rented, 20 foot long, 100 seat EV limousine is wanna-be Israeli-superstar Elizabeth Mephiboseth."