A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday, he said, "I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs." I said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

Sister Mary was a truly religious woman. Besides her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

The policewoman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?" The policewoman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The Germans and Americans were reaching a stalemate in WW2. In WW2 there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand.

Singapore's Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew said: ''There were two options for me: 1) Either I get corrupted and I put my family in the Forbes list of the richest people in the world and leave my people with nothing or...

During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand, the eccentric boss dares any of his employees to jump into the crocodile-infested pond and swim to the shore.

One day Einstein has to speak at an important science conference. On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him, "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over."

A pompous linguistics professor was lecturing her class one day.

After more than 40 years of marriage, a woman's husband suddenly died. For several months she sat alone in her house with the shades pulled and the doors locked.

My wife apologized for the first time ever today.