"Lexophile" describes those who have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman...

Always remember you're unique...

It's not how you win or lose...

I know it's late notice but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis, MN at the new U.S. Bank Stadium on Saturday, February 4th.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket.

My wife has these days when she wants us to "talk about things." We were discussing aspects of our future so when it was my turn I asked her, "What will you do if I die before you?"

[Not a joke for the most part but good practical wisdom] 1. Never shake a man's hand sitting down. 2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain't one. 3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: 1. Started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

1. You BELIEVE in Santa Claus. 2. You DON'T believe in Santa Claus.