The Other Ones

In a few days is Valentines day so let’s talk about relationships. Obviously, my wife is the most important person in my life. When I cook a meal, I always give her the best part. She may not even realize this and that’s not important to me. Making her happy is. If that isn’t love, what is?

But I confess I have another relationship going right now… two of them. I spend more hours with them than I do with my wife. They’re constantly with me everyday. When I close my eyes to sleep, they’re there. When I open my eyes, they’re there. My wife knows this. She doesn’t mind. She’s understanding this way. Actually, she was the one who brought them into my life. I warned her that something like this was going to happen but she insisted. Maybe she knew someone at my age needed something she could not provide. I told her the reason I didn’t want them was because I would get too attached and… well, it’s too late now.

When my wife goes to work, it’s just me… and them! Many times I’m in the middle of my work I can sense them beckoning for attention. Sometimes the temptation is so great I give in. Okay… okay… yes, I’m weak. I give in.

A simple touch, a simple massage and they are assured of my affection. Often, I tell them to let me go do my work but they want more of my touch… especially the little one.

And they’re very jealous. Whenever the phone rings, that’s when they decide to break their silence and compete with the person on the other line. “Can you please be quiet!” I shout. But they’re not that smart. They look at me quizzically wondering why I’m adding to the noise.

Life has never been the same. I’ve learned to live with the guilt of spending too much time with them. My wife knows I spend more time with them. The three cats know I spend more time with them.

But time is never enough for the two. What can you expect from Tonka and Tinker? They’re just two dogs.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Chinese New Year!

TGIF people!

Raoul

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. for sharing this joke.

Video: My Husband’s Guilty

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. for this amusing court video.
There’s a lesson at the end for you husbands.

Video: Everyone Should Have an Elephant

Thanks to Naomi of N Hollywood, CA for this cute video

Video: Extraordinary Man

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA
Art is a Singaporean American who is proud of his motherland. LKY was a true leader — country first before self. We need more like him.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Ding of Vancouver, B.C.

Thanks to Mel of Washington, DC.

Thanks to Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

Another one from Peter Paul

Thanks to Tom of Pasadena, CA

The post You’re an EXTREME Redneck When…. appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Open for Business? What Do You Think?

Are you looking forward to Monday? That’s the day businesses are supposed to restart opening their doors. At least that’s what the US Federal government  suggested at the time of this writing. It’s up to each governor to decide what’s good for the State. And it’s up to each business to decide what’s good for their company.

I was apprehensive about that. I thought it was too early because people are still getting infected and people are still dying. But then I watched an interview with a woman from the Wall Street Journal (I forget her name). And she had an insight about when to open: “You have to balance the need for health and safety with the need to bring back the economy and getting people’s lives back to normal.” She said the prevailing mindset is a purist mindset (which was like mine) — to open business only if every trace of that virus has been eliminated. Although it sounds good and safe, the drawback is we will be waiting forever for that to happen while the economy and people’s mental state will continue to spiral downward to the point where it may never recover. A better alternative, she claimed, is to open the doors now while the epidemic continues to loose steam (accepting that there will still be people getting infected and dying) in exchange for the economy starting to revive. Does this make sense to you? What do you think?

If the health charts that I’ve been seeing are accurate, Covid-19 isn’t as deadly as was earlier estimated. More people are dying by other causes anyway. There are also more medications and ventilators available than a month ago. More people have now been exposed and have built up their immunity, so the risks have significantly diminished. What do you think?

This balancing principle may be sound but it still needs wisdom when to implement. Nevertheless, if the shops and offices continue to take precautionary measures, if people wear face masks and wash their hands, avoid physical contact, keep their hands away from their eyes, nose and mouth … this should work. What do you think?

Come Monday, many businesses will start opening their doors. Some already have. Let’s hope they will be responsible. And let’s start living again. What do you think?

Keep safe and hold on to your faith. TGIF people!

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Mike of New York, for sharing this joke.

Video: How NOT to Make a Face Mask

Thanks to Mike of New York for this video that made me cry..

Video: Love at 60 Feet Under

Thanks to Naomi of N Hollywood, CA for sending this video made by her personal friend, Paula.

Video: Archie Bunker Goes to the Hospital

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA for this classic sitcom.

Don’s Puns

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C.who loves puns.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Naomi for this reminder to be more sensitive to our dogs.

Thanks to Rodney of Manitoba, B.C. for this serious announcement.

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA for this Twilight reflection.

The post Husband Has Covid-19 appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Power Play

Some people have told me that I put too many put-down married jokes. Sorry about that. I agree but somehow these genre of jokes are the ones that people send me the most. The second ones are the growing-old jokes.

Makes you wonder. I guess marriage is an easy target for jokesters because they see the craziness in marriage too often. Indeed there is a constant battle for power between the spouses.

But did you know that this is actually Biblically prophesied? When Adam and Eve ate that forbidden fruit God was so disappointed: “Yo Dudes! Your ideal life here in Paradise? It’s over!” Our first parents had access to anything and everything in creation but there was ONE restriction. Guess what? That ONE restriction was exactly what they decided to do. Kinda depressing that the first model of mankind were total “losers.”

God decreed that from that point on: “you would now need to work for what used to be free … and Eve (you and the future Eves), you’re gonna have childbirth pain like you can’t even imagine! And one more thing, (implanted in your DNA) will be your “desire” for your husband.”

For the longest time I wondered if “desire” simply meant that she would be attracted to her husband or want her man to find her attractive. (When you see how women dump tons of makeup and the guys falling for it, it kinda makes sense.) But the word “desire” really means a yearning for power — a desire to dominate. That same Hebrew word is only used one other time and it can be found in the next chapter of Genesis  (where God is warning Cain who got jealous of his brother Abel’s more acceptable gift) Cain was livid with envy. God warned Cain to control himself because “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire (the same exact word) is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” Alas, like parent, like son, Cain could not help himself. He murdered his own brother. In both instances, desire is that powerful intent mixed in the emotions. In other words Eve, since day one, desired to rule over Adam. Thus was born the Married Jokes.

Of course this is a general statement. There are always exceptions. But this explains the pattern of marriage dynamics. That’s why women do a lot of alluring while the men do a lot of the pursuing. Women attract. Men react. Women dangle the fruit of pleasure in the hopes of gaining power.

There are many things you can learn from the Bible. You should read it some time.

Of course this is just me. TGIF people!

“To the woman [God] said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be to (ie. you will want to control) your husband, but he will dominate you.”
— Genesis 3:16

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Charlie of New Jersey for sending this joke.

Video of the Week

You Have 2 Choices
Sent by Belen of Cerritos, CA

This is a very short video but it’s funny.

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Heavy Thought of the Week

Sent by Audrey of New York

If you want to learn how to hold your breath for over 2 minutes, follow this video. Pretty cool.

Parting Shot

Thanks to Art of Sierra Madre, CA who shared this.

The post Feuding Spouses appeared first on Traveling Archive.

V-Day

How was your Valentines Day? If you know my wife, you know she loves surprises … especially on Valentines Day. You can ask my wife and she will tell you about my many secret Valentine schemes. This year was no different.

In late January the men in my Monday Bible Study group started planning for V-Day. We were to sing “Thank You for Being a Friend,” the theme song from the TV sitcom, Golden Girls. Of course we changed some of the words to be more appropriate for the occasion. Because it was difficult to schedule a practice meeting, I posted instructions on the web and we had to communicate via text and email.

As V-day approached, I was getting more and more concerned about everyone getting their parts right. Yes, I was getting stressed out. It was so bad that I had a nightmare about being in front of the women and forgetting my lines. My wife even said I was mumbling in my sleep as if I was having a nightmare. I thought that was funny.

The Saturday before V-Day, Andy planned to come over to my house to practice. Our wives were attending a Saturday church event so I texted him: “The coast is clear.” Wouldn’t you know it, his wife saw the text message. Disaster! The jig was up! But Andy somehow kept his cool and the secret plot was still on. His wife bumped into my wife and asked: “Did you know Andy was coming over to meet with Raoul?”

Somehow they thought we planned dinner together and so Andy and I rode along with that assumption. In order to keep the charade, we did have dinner together. Andy and I exchanged winks because, surprisingly, the women were still clueless. That was a close one because If they had probed us we wouldn’t … we couldn’t lie.

V-Day finally arrived and our lesson that evening was about unity. It was a natural segue to the surprise. “And since we are talking about being a team,” I said, “we men have a little surprise for the women.”When I saw the puzzled looks on all of their faces, I knew we men had pulled off the surprise. Then, with red ties on and camera rolling, we started our tribute to the gals.  And, wouldn’t you know it, (remember my nightmare?) I DID forget my lines. In my frazzled state I kept playing the wrong chord and we had several false starts. But other than that, we did goooood. The men took turns reciting poems to the ladies. We gave them chocolates and a memento of the song. The women said they felt so loved. One of them even said we should have Valentines every day. We men scored high points.

In case you are interested, here is a link to our practice song. We had another version with bongos but the lyrics on this one is a lot clearer.
CLICK HERE

Our ROLES may be different but I believe women are EQUAL to men. Neither gender is superior. We should not compete; rather, we should complement each other and work toward a common spiritual goal. That evening, we men wanted to honor the ladies for who they are and what they mean in our lives.

I trust that YOU showed your love to someone special this Valentine. If not, maybe plan something next time. I realized 2 things. First, it isn’t a perfect performance or gift that makes a woman happy … it is knowing that there was thought and effort in the gift. Second, I realize when we do something special for people we love — our gift creates joy and their joy comes back to us a hundredfold.

But this is just me. TGIF people!

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it a meaning”
— Anonymous

Joke of the Week

Thanks to Rey of Simi Valley, CA for sending this joke.

Videos of the Week

They Should Have Asked My Husband
Sent by Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

Pam Ayres, the British comedian, describes her expert husband.

Touch Me Please
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

If you have pets, you know they enjoy being stroked. This is a heartwarming video of animals and how they love to be touched.

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Heavy Thought of the Week

Sent by Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Parting Shots

Thanks to Bobbie of Quezon City, Philippines who shared this

The post 4 Marriages appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Giving Thanks

We just went through 2 years of studying Genesis in my church. If you are not familiar with this Biblical book, Genesis covers the creation of the world and ends with the death of Joseph. It’s a fascinating historical account of Adam and Eve, and their disappointing decision to take that fateful bite of the forbidden fruit that started the suffering of the generations that followed. It’s about Noah and the flood; and about the promises between God and the patriarchs of our faith that are still being played out today.

According to Timothy Mahoney’s documentary, Patterns of Evidence: Exodus,  the Bible was accepted as factual until modern-day archeologists started confusing the timeline and started the doubts. If you watch the video, you will see evidence that demands a verdict.

For me, the Bible and the archeological facts only prove that despite our human frailty, God always … always …keeps His promises. We may be going through troubling times but the good news is there’s a promise of a happy ending. And that is a lot to be thankful for.

I hope your Thanksgiving weekend continues to bless you and your family.

TGIF people!

Joke of the Week

Why the Fight Started

Shared by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

Videos of the Week

Buster the Boxer
Sent by Don of Kelowna, B.C.

This is a well-loved video of Buster the Boxer and his dream of “flying away.” Actually when Don sent this, it had a second video which was a parody of this one. It was a bit political so I did not include it here. But if you are curious, do a search in Youtube and you will probably find it.

WATCH VIDEO

Genesis Flood
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Interesting research of the Biblical evidence that the flood in Noah’s time was global. What do you think? Was it just in the Middle East or did the flood cover the entire world?

BTW, if you are interested, go to Google Earth and search for “Mt. Ararat” and you will see an ice capped mountain. There will be a flat snow-covered area that is big enough to be covering the ark. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

WATCH VIDEO

Tom’s Puns

From Tom’s collection of puns

Good Thoughts

Sent by Rodney of Manitoba, B.C.

Parting Shot

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this photo

The post Clothing Donation appeared first on Traveling Archive.

This Saturday I will be volunteering at the Buena Park Jr High Campus, California, for my second Relay for Life event. For those who are not familiar, Relay for Life is a program sponsored by the American Cancer Society to help fund research for Cancer.

Two weeks ago was my first time to help this non-profit organization which was held at La Mirada, CA where I helped raise over $200 doing caricature sketches of people. Of course, I gave everything to the group.

At first nobody came to my booth because I was a complete stranger. But after my first “victim” showed it around, the people started coming in. Perhaps the most intriguing person I drew was a High Schooler who was emboldened to ask me a special favor. She wanted me to draw her with a singer who was part of BTS, the hot Korean Boy Band. She had his picture on her smart phone. She giggled all throughout the posing. She even gave me a hug after she saw the finished work. Later the event organizers told me she called them to get my name so she could properly credit me on her Facebook account. What a sweetheart.

I would have continued if not for an appointment with some church friends. The interruption was a blessing because my back was hurting badly after sitting there for just a few hours.

I think I’m getting too old for this live 5 minute sketch. My eyes aren’t as sharp anymore. And my fingers are beginning to shake. I might shift from pen and ink to digital. So if you are in the area, come on by this Saturday. You may be one of the last people to have a live caricature done by me. It’s for a good cause.

When I was young my Mom cautioned me about becoming an artist because she knew artists didn’t get paid enough. Sure, money is always nice, but Mom was wrong. To share my gift of art to so many people is plenty payment for me.

What’s your gift? If it comes naturally, if it comes easy, it’s meant to be given freely.

But this is just me.

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life“
— Pablo Picasso

TGIF people!

Insults Between Husband and Wife

Shared by Mel of Washington, D.C.

CAUTION: NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE ONES

Donald Trump Needs a Date
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

Art found this old Candid Camera footage of Donald Trump doing a cameo appearance with his Playboy persona. This isn’t political but I know some of you can’t stand the guy so just skip. This may also not be for the sensitive among you. Hard to believe this is our President.

WATCH VIDEO

John Mayer Cheap Viral Video
Sent by Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

If you know John Mayer, you know he’s a superstar guitarist. He and his marketing team couldn’t agree on a budget to make his MTV video. So he went to a local video store that mainly does weddings. Wouldn’t you know it. this video went viral. Certainly dispels the myth that you need a big budget to market well.

WATCH VIDEO

TEDx Canada: How to Succeed
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

How do you measure success? Is it finances? Is it relationships? I’m sure we have different ideas about it. Next question, how do you achieve it?

WATCH VIDEO

Don’s Puns

From Don’s collection of puns

Parting Shots

Thanks to Don of Kelowna, B.C. who shared this photo

I hope I’m not being too mean here but it really begs the question: “Why doesn’t anyone of her status get any honest feedback about how she dresses up?” — Raoul

The post Bitter Couples appeared first on Traveling Archive.

This is heavy stuff. Move on to the jokes if you’re not into this.

“Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future, and renders the present inaccessible.”
— Maya Angelou

I picked up my 6 year old grandson from school the other day.  I observed how he mingled with his classmates. He ran with the pack and joked around like everyone. He was oblivious to the fact that he was the only Asian among a majority of other ethnicities.

When my family moved here to California, our kids were about that age — they too were color blind. I remember my sister, who had lived here in Los Angeles for years, invited us to go and join their church. “We’re all Filipinos here, you’ll feel more at home.” But we politely told her that the reason we came here was to immerse into the rest of America. We wanted to assimilate with our new home. It was (and is) a conscious decision. We are proud of our original culture but there’s enough room in our hearts for others.

To this day we enjoy the variety of friends we have from all over. Our 2 kids are marrying into a different culture. This intermarriage is true for many of my friends and relatives as well … which is why it hurts when people put race in the spotlight of many debates. When you play the “Race Card” it’s a losing battle of entitlement and selfishness. I know there are legitimate grievances but keep in mind, we all have our wants in varying degrees. We all have been victimized in this fallen world.

Have you noticed? The ones with the loudest voices and who are more organized (sometimes with financial backing) usually get their way. But does it make the desires of the silent ones any less important? The majority isn’t always right. Ironically, the ones who demand tolerance are the ones who refuse to give it. They refuse to listen for fear of being discovered to be wrong. It’s harder to admit one’s mistake when one was so sure … when one will be ostracized by one’s friends.

I believe in an Absolute Truth emanating from a Holy God. How about you? When one has never tasted Truth (especially in a world of lies) it’s understandable why they claim Truth does not exist. That’s why adults who grew up in the war-torn Middle East have a wildly different sense of righteousness.  That’s why people whose dreams are shattered or who have lost a loved one turn bitter and alone.

Here’s the sad truth for me. The fact that I singled out my grandson as the only Asian among his peers tells me that I am no longer color blind. Even if I wanted to preserve my innocence the issue was presented to me and I had no choice. Can you blame me when the people who demand racial equality have forced me to open my eyes?

I do have one consolation — I still have hope that mankind’s colors will one day paint the masterpiece intended by God.

But this is just me.

“For we are His masterpiece created anew in Christ Jesus, so the good he planned for us a long time ago would be our way of life.”
— Ephesians 2:10

TGIF people!

Jewish Pilot and Chinese CoPilot

Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Okay, okay. This is a rare racial joke. And it did make me squirm at first but there’s actually an interesting lesson here.

TGIF Videos

Plane Landing
Sent by Wally of Moreno Valley, CA

Quick video of a plane about to land while a husband is texting his wife.

Watch Video

Married Life from the Pixar Movie UP
Sent by Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA

This is a classic scene from the movie. In about 4 minutes your emotions jump from happiness to tear-jerking sadness. If you’ve been feeling detached from life recently, this will test if your sensitivity is still working. I knew what was coming and still I cried because it reminded me of some real people.

Watch Video

Parting Shot

Thanks to Scott of Deerfield, New Hampshire who shared this photo

Photo taken from a Men’s bathroom stall.

The post Jewish Pilot and Chinese CoPilot appeared first on Traveling Archive.

Did you get the memo? The world was supposed to end last January 13, a Saturday! There are rumors that the false alarm about a North Korean Nuclear attack headed for Hawaii was real … so was the false alarm headed towards Japan three days after. Silly you say, but rumors also contend that the increased military activities going on in South East Asia are in direct response to that. We were fortunate that the US counter offensive was able to thwart the attack. In other words, “the good guys” prevented a nuclear war.

Think about it. It’s like barely missing a car accident. You swerve and prevent a life changing episode; then 5 seconds later, you forget your blessings.

What were you doing that day? That Saturday I was holding 2 meetings in La Habra with my partner John and looking forward to visiting my son in New York in a few days. Imagine, on that day all our wealth, all our debts, all our obligations, all our hopes and dreams — should have been erased instantly in a nuclear cloud (at least for those near Hawaii and Japan).

Would you have been prepared to go in a violent flash? A more important question: where would you have gone? Let’s go down the line of popular beliefs.

Atheists would say their existence would have ended right there. No spiritual mumbo jumbo to elevate to. Ta dah! The End!

Reincarnationists (?) would wake up as a dog, a flea of the dog or a bacteria of the flea (depending on how good they were). Sadly, when they wake up as the next creature the nuclear dust would kill them again and they would cycle down to something even more insignificant. (At least that seems to be the logical progression).

The God-fearing people? Well, depending on their belief they’d wake up in a place of comfort or a place of suffering.
None of those choices seem very inviting, do they? Everything you’ve ever done on this earth would crescendo to this moment in time … the moment of truth. It should be your most important moment because it’s the end of your journey in this present life. What are you doing about it? Are you in car crash memory lapse mode?

Wouldn’t it be nice to know how to wind up in that “comfortable place?” (Wanna call or email me to discuss? I’d love to hear your take on this). My intent is to let you think because we are all living on borrowed time (literally speaking). God, in His infinite wisdom, has given us extra time to prepare and discuss that moment, with people we love and trust, the evidence that would demand a verdict. The truth is out there. I believe in a loving God and I believe He provided that answer. We just need to look for it.

Even if the rumors aren’t true. Why dilly dally? Remember: at this very moment, forces are gearing up for battle in South East Asia. Who knows? Our borrowed time may soon return to its maker.

“Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you”
— Luke 11:9

TGIF people!

Unique

Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

Tech Support for Marriage

Contributed by Mike of New York

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke.

Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people’s love advice was hilarious and genius!

THE QUERY

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2.

Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0.

3 Original Low-Tech Memory Tricks

Contributed by John of Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

When something EXTRA special comes up, one has 3 choices on how to remember it.

1) Tie a knot in your hanky and blow your nose frequently on the day of the “Event.” Only untie knot AFTER the event.

2) Wear a funny suit so that folks ask you “Why are you wearing THAT?” so you can reply “I need to remind myself of something IMPORTANT TODAY.”

3) Carry a VERY heavy weight in your pocket with a note that says “Event: 4pm” (or whatever). As it’s so heavy you’ll want to take frequently take it out. You always see why it’s there.

Note: These are actual spur of the moment ideas my good British friend, John, came up with. This is perfect for technically challenged seniors. It should work nicely. Thanks John!

TGIF Videos

Man With Many Accents
Sent by Art of Sierra Madre, CA

This guy can talk with flawless different accents. Pretty entertaining.

WATCH

The Magician and The Spoiler
Sent by Peter Paul of S Pasadena, CA

Pretty cool Chinese magician … except that his friend’s there to ruin everything.

WATCH

Parting Shot

Thanks to Jackie of Whittier, CA who shared this photo

The post You Are Unique appeared first on Traveling Archive.