My wife asked me to stop singing "I'm a Believer" by the Monkees because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

Interviewer: "So tell me about yourself."

A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened.

I pulled into the crowded parking lot to do my Christmas shopping and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe.