When Exes Meet

By Raoul Pascual

Raoul’s Two Cents: September 15, 2023

Friendship

FREE LUNCH

Lorraine, one of my older friends, and her daughter treated me for lunch the other day. She was visiting from her new home in Oregon and we just had to meet. Although she is slowed down with a cane, she still looks very good for a 93 year old lady. We cackled like hens for 2 hours. We talked about family and medications and shared anecdotes. No, we didn’t solve the problems of the world nor did we gather earth-shattering data to survive in this world but it was still fun. We could have talked for hours.

FRIENDS

We take our friends for granted but friendship is actually a basic human need, isn’t it? Back in my introverted elementary years, I didn’t have a single friend until I was in Grade 5. I would have given anything to have someone to talk to. We need friends to fill up the holes in our grid of needed affection. Some of these relationships are built in (like parents, siblings and other blood relatives) but a majority of friends enter our sphere of influence because of our choosing. According to Psychiatrist Dr. Warren Lamb (who explains relationships in Chapter 19 of his book Unbound), we need different levels of friends — from the casual to the intimate. Having a spouse (a soulmate who fulfills even our physical needs) being the most intimate of course.

In this modern age of human relationship we now have internet friends, pet friends and AI friends — yup! … you’ve heard of Japanese robotic pets, haven’t you? Artificial though they may be, they do provide companionship. I am also fascinated that even the sentient AI (with their digital human-like emotions) feel lonely at night when there are no humans awake to interact with them. It boggles the mind.

God gave Adam a job: to name the animals and to care for the Garden of Eden. Why? God certainly didn’t need the classification. I believe it was for Adam’s sake — for him to understand the beautiful order of creation — how and why things are connected. And, in the process, Adam realized there was something missing. There was no one to share what he discovered. None of the animals talked like him or thought in his level.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
— (Genesis 2:18).

CONCLUSION

I do not claim to understand the dynamics of all of this. I merely want to acknowledge that we were not designed to live alone. Our purpose isn’t just to live for ourselves. I believe God put us in this world to challenge our capacity to love horizontally (with other human beings) and vertically (with God). To misunderstand either one is to cheat ourselves of our wonderful capacity to love. As we mingle and create more circles of friends and learn from each other we will learn to appreciate the blessings from above.

Of course this is just me. TGIF People!